The Widdershins

WANTED: Vice Presidential Running Mate.

Qualifications:

• Must have voted for two Bush tax cuts, two wars, unpaid for prescription drug benefit, Bush Bank Bailout, TARP, Obama Stimulus, GM/Chrysler Bailout, and then be seen as a deficit hawk.
• Must have dangling man junk.
• Must believe in the philosophy of a Russian atheist until you don’t.
• Must believe that running mate be taxed at a rate of near zero (extra consideration for a rate resulting in a refund).
• Must have never held a private sector job.
• Must have no military service.
• Must have no experience in foreign affairs.
• Must believe in the inviolate preservation of ejaculitizens (full constitutional citizenship bestowed upon zygotes marked in time by the words, “Oh baby, oh baby, oh…“).

I don’t know anyone other than Paul D. Ryan, proud representative of one-eighth of the great state of Wiscottsin who

Coincidence, I think not…

fulfills these qualifications.  Oh, one more qualification — must believe that poor people can find food in the forest.

Here’s a thought — the prior job holder, Sarah Palin, is decried as abysmally ignorant of most everything beyond breathing where Paul Ryan is supposedly a wonkish cypher brainiac — but there isn’t a single issue upon which they disagree.  Go figure.

Here’s my theory on why young Paulie got the call — Romney was told — you are going to come in second in a two-man race — you gotta do something even if it’s wrong or hope the Mormon god visits from Kolob.

Wait, there’s more!