The Widdershins

Good Weekend Widdershins!

Ah Florida, the gift that well, just won’t go away will it?  As a change of pace from weekend music I decided to do a quick search on strange news/crime/criminals in the Sunshine State and the ones below all occurred this year.  You may have seen some of these in the news but nevertheless I’m adding them here. So with that let’s move along.

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Yeah, I liked the Flintstones too but not this much.

WESLEY CHAPEL, Fla. – A Florida man (of course… Florida man) was pulled over by law enforcement and given a citation.

All sounds normal, until you learn that he was dressed as Fred Flintstone and the vehicle he was “driving” was the footmobile made famous in the popular cartoon show.

But before you go all T-Rex on the cops, understand that it was all in fun.

Don Swartz (aka, Fred Flintstone) was driving around the Pasco County area in his Smart Car disguised as the footmobile, WTVT reports.

Pasco County deputy H. Echevarria pulled Swartz over for allegedly speeding in a neighborhood and issued him a notice to appear.

“A very special thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Don and Trina Swartz for being such great sports… Yabba Dabba Doo!”

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This guy wanted something to drink and real bad y’all.

DeLAND, Fla. – A man says he climbed onto a DeLand convenience store’s roof Saturday morning in an attempt to get into the business, because he was thirsty, according to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office.

The Woodland Food Mart was closed when Michael Monacelli, 31, told deputies he tried to get inside the store because he was dehydrated and needed something to drink. He tried getting in by breaking a window, the suspect told deputies. Unable to get into the business, Monacelli climbed a tree and onto the roof, according to the arrest report. He told deputies that he then crawled into a hole on the roof  for shelter.

[snip]

While explaining how he came to be on the roof, a deputy confronted Monacelli about his reasoning, pointing to the full bottle, saying “You’ve had that water for almost 30 minutes and you’ve had two sips of it.”

“I was trying to put your thing first above my hydration,” Monacelli told the deputy, referring to his questions.

As he was being placed into a patrol car, Monacelli said he didn’t even try to climb on the roof, “it just happened.”

Monacelli was cleared by medical personal before he was booked into the Volusia County Jail on charges of attempted burglary and property damage.

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This one appears to have already had enough to drink.

BIG PINE KEY, Fla. – Authorities say a drunken Florida man bit another man’s fingertip off at a campsite in the Florida Keys.

Monroe County Sheriff’s spokesman Adam Linhardt said in a news release that the victim and his wife had a campsite next to 54-year-old Aurelio Rodriguez at Bahia Honda State Park. They told deputies that on Friday night, they brought a bottle of tequila to share with Rodriguez but he had already been drinking.

An arrest report says Rodriguez fell and the victim tried to lift him but couldn’t. When he tried one last time to lift him, Rodriguez bit the man’s finger.

A deputy found Rodriguez’s face covered in blood. Paramedics found the missing fingertip but doctors couldn’t reattach it.

Rodriguez is charged with aggravated battery. A lawyer isn’t listed on jail records.

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Yep, those robocalls bother me too, but…

BREVARD COUNTY, Fla. – A Brevard County man fed up with election-related robocalls was arrested Monday after deputies say he threatened to blow up the Brevard County Supervisor of Elections Office.

According to the arrest report, Daniel Chen, 65, of Melbourne, called the Supervisor of Elections Office and threatened to blow up the building. During the call Chen identified himself and left his phone number. In an interview with authorities Chen admitted to making the call due to being “extremely upset over the robocalls.” Chen told deputies he has been trying throughout the week to stop the calls.

“He was upset over the robocalls from political parties so he called in a bomb threat to the supervisor of elections,” Brevard County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Tod Goodyear said.

Chen is charged with making a false report of a bomb. He was arrested Monday and ordered held in lieu of $15,000 bail.

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(sigh)  I’ve been curious about things also but never, never this curious about anything.

PALM BAY, Fla. – A man who admitted he’d been “curious” about public masturbation did so in front of a security camera at a water treatment plant because he’s “dumb,” according to the Palm Bay Police Department.

Police said they were called to the Palm Bay water treatment plant on Monday shortly after midnight because an employee saw a man masturbating and exposing himself to a security camera. An officer saw Nicholas Heinzen, 20, leaving the area in his vehicle as he was arriving to the scene to investigate.

olice said they were called to the Palm Bay water treatment plant on Monday shortly after midnight because an employee saw a man masturbating and exposing himself to a security camera. An officer saw Nicholas Heinzen, 20, leaving the area in his vehicle as he was arriving to the scene to investigate.

The officer pulled Heinzen over and questioned him about what he was doing in the area, to which Heinzen claimed that he had just turned down the road to turn around because he thought he had left his credit card at home, the report said.

When questioned further, Heinzen said he was “curious” about masturbating in front of the camera at the water treatment plant so he drove there, mooned the camera then masturbated while wearing a hat and napkin around his face, according to the affidavit.

Heinzen said he did it because he is “dumb,” the report said.    **

He was arrested on a charge of indecent exposure.

** No truer words have ever been spoken.

And last, courtesy of the Miami Herald we have a video compilation of dumb criminals.

That’s it Widdershins.

Open thread of course.