The Widdershins

Morning Widdershinners — may your Friday, as the fake London Town Crier said of the new royal baby, be happy and glorious.

Real life has gotten in the way of writing anything of real substance this week so today’s post will be a smattering of happenings, but wouldn’t you know it, there’s all kinds of newsy stuff happening.

Speaking of the royal birth this week, how long do you think it will take before the new royal baby will be referred to as “Prince Seinfeld”. His name, George Alexander Louis, seems as if it is an homage to George Costanza who was played by Jason Alexander with Julia Louis-Dreyfus co-starring. If only there was a Cosmo or Kramer in the new royal name we would know for sure that Will and Kate have a wicked sense of humor.  I also like the idea of a future king being known as King Kramer.

As for things on this side of the pond, remember the old saying, “Put enough chimpanzees in front of enough typewriters and eventually you’ll get War and Peace.” Well, the same can be said of putting enough wack-a-doodle Tea Partiers in state legislatures.

As an example, down in the great state of North Carolina the Republicans have veto proof majorities in both Houses of the legislature and a Republican Governor. Are they ever busy these days! Let’s take a look at some of their handiwork — closing 15 of 16 women’s health clinics, onerous new voter ID requirements including one proposal to tax the out-of-state parents of students who dare vote, cutting state services so that millionaires can get a $10,000 tax cut, and a proposal to allow concealed carry permits on playgrounds — a “stand your sandbox” law.

And if that wasn’t enough to keep these fine North Carolinians busy, they have waded into the hue and cry of doing something about that intergalactic social problem plaguing us — nip slips. Yes, they are considering criminalizing nip slips with up to six months jail time. To avoid an inopportune prosecution, one male legislator helpfully suggested that duct tape can fix just about anything. So ladies if you are planning a trip to North Carolina, remember to pack your roll of decriminalizing duct tape just in case.

Then there’s San Diego mayor Bob Filner. A former 20-year Congressman, Filner has a weird habit of trying to put his tongue down the throat of City Hall’s female employees. His suggested dress code for women also seems a bit unusual. “Leave your panties at home everyday” hasn’t caught on with the City’s HR department. Filner needs to be run out of City Hall, out of public life, and back under a rock at low tide on the nearest San Diego beach. Best wishes for his seaside retirement.

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