The Widdershins

Archive for the ‘Lighter news’ Category

Hi all! How’s your weekend going? If I had a dollar for every time I’ve used the words stupid or dumb over the past three years, I could buy a good used car. Still, when describing Trump, stupid or dumb is lame. I’m not talking about ignorant or uniformed or uneducated (although he is that, too). I mean profoundly stupid. Deeply dumb. So very, very, very stooopid.

I guess we’ve all done something stupid in our lives. I have a few regrets. I don’t recall any ‘hold my beer’ moments. Then again, maybe I just can’t recall any. Here are a few stupid people. There’s stupid and drunk

An Austin man is facing charges for running over a woman as she attempted to sprint across a road to prove to she could “run fast in heels” and driving away, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by Fox News.

The woman was walking back from a local bar around 2:30 a.m. Saturday with her sister when an unidentified male asked if she could run in the shoes she was wearing. To prove her talents, the woman then started to run across the road.

A maroon SUV hit and dragged the woman roughly 15 yards during her attempt to get to the other side of an intersection along Interstate 35, the Austin Police Department said in the affidavit.

Ouch. That stupidity combined with alcohol landed her in the hospital with a brain bleed. Sad. Then, there’s stupid and racist

An Iowa woman fired for disparaging Mexicans at work cannot collect unemployment despite her testimony that other employees also made derogatory comments about “blacks and foreigners” since Donald Trump became president.

Angela Diers filed for unemployment after she lost her job at Dexter Laundry, a Fairfield manufacturer of commercial washers and dryers, for telling a co-worker that she hated “f—ing Mexicans.”

Iowa’s Employment Appeals Board ruled that Diers’ statements clearly met the definition of misconduct and disqualified her from collecting unemployment benefits. The board reversed Administrative Law Judge Beth Scheetz, who said Diers deserved unemployment benefits.

The most amazing thing is the initial judge ruled in her favor before the Appeals Board overturned. (although she may have been trying to make a point)

Since President Trump’s election, it was common for workers to talk about hating blacks or hating foreigners,” Scheetz wrote in her ruling. “If management wishes all workers to be treated with respect, it must enforce respectful treatment amongst co-workers and supervisors, and apply those expectations consistently throughout the chain of command.”

Doubly stupid for using the dumbest man on the planet as an excuse. Then, there’s stupid and horny

Chinese married couple—who were desperately trying to conceive—learned they had been having sex the wrong way for four years.

The young pair, whose identities have been kept anonymous, went to see obstetrician Liu Hongmei after the woman failed to get pregnant despite having sex on a regular basis, reported the Guiyang Evening News. During their appointment, the woman admitted that sex was “usually painful,” which prompted Liu to perform a gynecological examination.

“The couple were very young, the man 26 and the woman 24. They were very healthy, but, despite being married for four years, couldn’t conceive,” Liu said. “Their family was giving them a lot of stress because of it.”

The results were unexpected. Liu discovered that the couple, from Bijie city in China’s south-western Guizhou province, had mistakenly been having anal intercourse rather than vaginal to conceive.

Welp. Let’s just move on to an oldie but goodie. Stupid and fanatical

LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — The son of a snake-handling Kentucky preacher who died from a snakebite says he’s recovering from his own rattlesnake wound.

Cody Coots, 21, took over services at Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name in Middlesboro after his father, Jamie Coots, died after being bitten during a service in February.

Since they don’t believe in medical treatment for bites (God’s will ‘ya know), I wonder if he’s still alive. Don’t care. How about stupid and armed?

WARREN, Ohio – A man in Warren was injured after being shot by a gun that went off while it was in his oven.

Police said the incident happened on Riverview Avenue on the city’s Northwest side Sunday evening.

Detectives told 21 News the man placed a revolver in the broiler section of the oven to keep it safe.

A woman who lives at the home then started using the oven to cook when the gun went off, according to police.

Detectives said the man was in the basement at the time and did not know the woman was cooking.

When he heard the first shot, he ran upstairs and tried to get the gun out of the oven, but it was too hot.

It fired again, striking him twice, according to police.

Who knew the broiler may not be the best place to stash your gun? Finally, stupid and rich. Although I shouldn’t really call Kim Kardashian stupid. She’s made a mint for… pretty much nothing. But, she can spend her money stupidly.

Kim Kardashian may not be able to keep Kanye from blaming black people for slavery, but there’s still one man in her life she can control.

That man is her dog, Rocky, whom she had neutered, as any responsible pet owner would do.

Strangely, she has reportedly purchased fake testicles for him … for a whopping $10,000.

Allegedly, she purchased the Neuticles and had them implanted because she wanted to help Rocky’s self-esteem.

Way back in the simpler times of 2012, Kim Kardashian told The Independent that she “doesn’t like big balls on dogs, or anything else.”

All we can do is laugh at these idiots. I hope y’all got a good laugh out of these, ’cause we sure need something to laugh about.

Open thread.

So I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Dump did crazy shit and now the media is making excuses for him. But –

Did you also know that Brad Pitt’s first name is actually Bill? Brad is his middle name.

Chuck Norris’ first name is Carlos.

Justin Bieber knows how to juggle.

Once upon a time Madonna worked at Dunkin Donuts, but was fired after squirting jelly at a customer.

Tom Hanks is a third cousin, four generations removed, of Abraham Lincoln.

Beyoncé has a species of horse fly named after her. Australian researchers named a

actor-laurence-f.jpeg

Larry Fishburne

golden-bellied insect Scaptia beyonceae in 2012.

Elvis Presley was a natural blond.

Dr. Ruth is a trained sniper.

James Earl Jones stuttered when he was a child.

When he was 37, Jack Nicholson discovered that the woman who he thought was his sister (16 years his senior) was actually his mother. Puts “Chinatown” into some sort of perspective.

In 1933 Lucille Ball was asked to shave off her eye-brows for a film role (Marlena

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Dietrich shaved hers.) They never grew back.

Actor Larry Fishburne (later to rename himself Laurence Fishburne) was 14 years old when he was cast to be in “Apocalypse Now.” He lied about his age. By the time the film finished filming, he was 17 (the age his character is in the movie.)

Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960) was the first American film to show a flushing toilet.

The first series to show an abortion (illegal) on TV was the soap opera Another World in 1964.

Michael Myers’ mask in the movies “Halloween” is Captain Kirk’s face painted white.

michael-myers-halloween.jpg

William Shatner’s face

This is an open thread!

Did You Know?

Posted on: May 3, 2018

This week my post will be non Dump related. Our comments will follow the latest news, but I thought I’d do something a little different to take our mind off the bananananity of our lives. It’s a “Did You Know?” of interesting facts you may not know about. So let’s dive in and maybe learn a thing or two (I didn’t know any of these things.)

Did you know that Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa is estimated to be worth about $780 814px-Leonardo_da_Vinci,_Salvator_Mundi,_c.1500,_oil_on_walnut,_45.4_×_65.6_cm.jpgmillion? (Seems cheap, no?) But since it’s not for sale and never will be it’s unclear how much someone would actually be willing to pay for it. I’m sure an auction would bring the price into the billions. The most expensive painting ever actually sold and bought is da Vinci’s Salvator Mundi, painted in around the year 1500 of our lord. It sold in 2017 for $450.3 million. The seller? Dmitry Robolovlev. Yes, the same guy who bought Trump’s worthless Florida house for tens of millions more than it was worth…

Did you know that the German chocolate cake is named after an English-American baker Sam German, not the country??

Did you know that the chainsaw was invented to aid in childbirth. Think about that for a minute. The instrument of horror in horror movies was invented in 1830 by a German (naturally) orthopedist Bernhard Heine. Heine made a prototype for cutting bone and by late 18th century two Scottish doctors revised the instrument to aid in symphysiotomy (widening of the pelvis to help the baby move out.)

Did you know that the last letter added to the English alphabet was the letter J and it is located next to the letter I because it looks almost the same?

Did you know that the Citicorp building in Manhattan, built in 1977 and designed by IMG_4597-copy-3-1024x768.jpgWilliam J. LeMessurier, was destined to be blown down by the wind if Diane Hartley, an enterprising architecture student, didn’t notice the flaw in its design? The building has an unusual structure – its 9 story columns stand in the center not the corners of the building to make room for a Church that was there first. It looks cool, right? Now think about winds: there are two types of winds – winds that blow at the corners and winds that blow directly at a wall, and all buildings take into account strong winds, so the building doesn’t collapse in a storm. LeMessurier accounted for the winds by installing a gigantic weight at the top that would swing in the opposite direction of the building in a storm and keep it balanced. After this Citicorp building was already opened and occupied, Mr. LeMessurier got a phone call from an assistant who had a phone call from a young architecture student (Diane Lee Hartley) writing a thesis on the building and she noticed that LeMessurier did not account for the winds that would blow at the corners of the building. Typically buildings are strongest at their corners, so it wouldn’t be an issue. But this was not an ordinary building. It had no support at the corners which would have made it vulnerable to strong winds blowing at the corners and there was a high chance (1 in 16) that the building would eventually collapse from a storm. And there was a

diane-hartley-e1397598824849-600x482

Diane Lee Hartley in 2014

Hurricane Ella making its way towards the island! In the middle of the night, in secret to prevent panic, the architects worked to fix the mistake, and the NYPD and emergency services coordinated an evacuation plan within a 10 block radius in case the building collapsed. 2500 Red Cross volunteers were on stand-by. The good news is that Hurricane Ella never made it to Manhattan and the building was reinforced without its occupants even knowing they were in danger.

Did you know that “a buttload” is an actual measurement of weight?

Did you know that opening a barrel of whiskey is called “drilling the bunghole?”

And if I were to ask you what is the most perfect day in the history of the world, what would you say? I’m beginning to think that the most perfect day in the history of the world was April 18, 1930. Why? Well, it was so perfect that there was literally no news to report. A BBC News announcer came on the air at 20:45 and said: “There is no news.” And with the remaining 15 minutes of the broadcast the BBC played music.

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A GOOD SUNDAY TO YOU WIDDERSHINS!

Fredster still has not felt like the muses have come around so once again let’s take a look at some of the odd, funny or strange things I’ve found out there on the internet.

Ways in which Amtrak should not emulate the Japanese

This one is kind of old but I had it in the bookmarks for strange/odd news.

So this “super-express train” was barrelling down the tracks the way those Japanese (and German and French and probably Italian) fast trains travel.  (Wish we had some of those)  And anyway a passenger on the train notices that a snake is wrapped around the armrest of a passenger seat (occupied) in front of him!

The train’s operator, JR Tokai, or Central Japan Railway Co., said the passenger sitting in the reserved seat was unaware that the snake was wrapped around his armrest for about 50 minutes until the person behind him saw it and notified a conductor.

Railway spokesman Atsuo Utano said the train crew made an announcement asking if anyone had lost a pet snake and informing passengers of an unscheduled stop, but nobody came forward.

The super-express train made a stop at Hamamatsu station about 25 minutes later, and railway police removed the snake and the train departed in about one minute, Utano said.

He said the train arrived in Hiroshima, its destination, on time.

Now…the snake was on that armrest for 50 minutes before another passenger noticed it? Then, the train people asked if someone had lost their snake?  And then finally, after another 25 minutes they stopped.  Uh..no people.  I would have been looking for that damned emergency rope thing you see on trains in the movies and yanking on it like crazy.  I have a rule about these things:  ∅ snakes on the train.

I could probably die happy too in this case

It’s actually a variation on a theme we’ve seen before.  But still, maybe I won’t even have to die for this to happen.

Corlis Gilchrist, 92, must have been a staunch Democrat.  And we know how staunch Democrats felt after last November, right?

Mr. Gilchrist’s obituary included this :

he was “a proud union member and took great pride in his work with Armstrong Tire, retiring after more than 40 years of service

And so his family did this for him:

…died peacefully this month after family members falsely told him the process to impeach President Donald Trump had begun “so that he could rest in peace.”

I would have lied to him too and secretly hope that it does happen…very soon.  And apparently some people were sooo worried back in November they decided on an early checkout:

Last year, a woman’s obituary published in the Richmond Times-Dispatch said Mary Anne Noland, 68, of Richmond, Virginia, decided to “pass” instead of vote in the November election.

“Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland of Richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of God,” the obituary read. Her husband said it was meant as a joke as a means for her family to continue her sense of humor.

Truth in advertising or delusions of grandeur?

Okay folks, I had to really think about adding this one, but it’s so preposterous I had to include it.

So once again in Florida (always in Florida!) a man is on trial for murder for choking his girlfriend to death.  But Richard Patterson has an explanation of how said choking occurred.  His defense attorney also wants Patterson to provide a visual to the jury.

Not Patterson

Richard Henry Patterson, 65, has admitted he choked his girlfriend, Francisca Marquinez, 60, to death on Oct. 28, 2015, but claims it happened accidentally during oral sex, The Sun Sentinel reported.

He’s now seeking a judge’s permission to show the jury his penis — to prove her death was a mistake.

Patterson’s attorney, Ken Padowitz, said his client’s member figures prominently in his “rough sex” defense, which hinges on the argument that Marquinez died accidentally, while engaging in consensual sexual activity.

Padowitz has enlisted expert witness and former Broward County Medical Examiner Dr. Ronald Wright to testify that Marquinez’s death “is consistent with being accidentally sexually asphyxiated during oral sex,” the motion said.

He insists that a viewing of Patterson’s penis is integral to the jury understanding Wright’s argument.

Now I’m all in favor of a defendant using any means they can to put on a defense but…really?  Wouldn’t it be interesting if, instead of a large Bockwurst, Patterson had more of a vienna sausage and a large ego?  Oh and by the way I hope they convict the bastard.

* * * *

A couple of humorous You Tube Clips

This guy has been doing convenience story inventory for waay too long.

Yes it’s true – watch out for lightening.

* * * *

Okay that’s all I have Widdershins.  Take the conversation in any direction you wish.  And also, a Happy Mothers’ Day to all the moms out there!

 

 

movie-box-office

Good Saturday and weekend!

We have arrived at the weekend and this week we definitely need a break from the weird week of politics; a palate cleanser as Chat would say.  We watched a “forum” that, while the idea was good, the implementation was just awful and provided us with at least one new hashtag, “#Laueringthebar”.  We saw the talking yam continue to lie and not be held accountable for it.  We saw the moderator of said forum waste precious time (she had thirty minutes) on questions about emails with Hillary Clinton and then demand brevity when asking her “longform” questions about ISIS and the Iran nuclear deal, telling her to speed it up.  Clinton was, and has been treated differently, and finally, people have noticed; here and here.

So to put this week behind us and for a change of pace let’s look at some movies, and specifically comedies.  Comedy has been a staple in movies since their inception so there are tons of them out there.  I’ll put up a few of mine and please share some of your favorites in the comments.

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(1) Meet the Parents ~ Circle of Trust

(2) There’s Something About Mary ~ Dog Fight

(3) Planes, Trains and Automobiles ~ Wrong way on the highway

(4) The Marx Brothers ~ Duck Soup

(5) Woody Allen ~ Love and Death ~ Wheat

(6) Animal House ~ Double Secret Probation

(7) From the title of the post ~ Scenes from It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world ~Jonathan Winters

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Okay!  That’s a few of my favorites and I’ve barely scratched the surface.  I want to leave room for your contributions and not have the page take forever to load.  So please share some of your favorites below.

wacko criminal lineup

Good afternoon Widdershins!

Are you in the Christmas uh holiday spirit yet?  Have you been fighting the (madding or not) shopping center or mall crowds?  Well cheer up bunky, you won’t find that stuff here today.  Nope, you’re just going to find some odd or funny news stories and a few youtube clips.

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So if you thought your job was bad
consider this one

In the movie Patton, George C. Scott as the general makes a speech about “shoveling sh!t in Loozeana”.  If you live in India and were born into a certain sect or class then it’s your life’s calling.

Dharamani Kale emerged from the manhole, sewage clinging to his body. Next to him, Sona Bai gathered filth in a small round basket and carried it on her head to the end of the street. The unpleasant process had started at dawn and would continue for at least 12 hours.

This is how sewers are cleaned in most Indian cities, including Mumbai, the nation’s booming financial capital: Workers use metal scrapers, brooms or their bare hands to clear drainage and sanitation lines twice a year, before and after the annual monsoon rains.

Add in this little tidbit too:

More than 95% of sewer workers are members of India’s lowest social class, the Dalits, once known as “untouchables,” according to the government’s figures. Labor activist Milind Ranade said the jobs still exist because of widespread apathy toward Dalits, who remain severely marginalized despite efforts to end caste-based discrimination.

And as bad as that may seem, being part of the Dalits caste, even that group has a hierarchy:

Rajni was only 10 when her mother told her that she would spend her life picking up human excrement from dry latrines. They belong to the Valmiki caste, regarded as the lowest among the Dalits – formerly India’s untouchables.

“She said that we are born to do this. First, we clean the waste of others and then we get to eat,” Rajni recalls her mother saying.

Now 21, Rajni remembers how sick she felt for most of her childhood; the stink emanating from the excrement; and the flies that followed her when she carried the waste in a basket fetched from the households in her village in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh.

“The worst days were when it rained. The waste would drip onto your neck and shoulders,” she told Al Jazeera. “You wanted to keep throwing up.”

Rajni was married as a teenager and continued to be a manual scavenger in her husband’s village until 2012 when Sulabh International, a non- profit organisation, replaced the dry latrines in her village with flush toilets.

Supposedly India passed legislation: “The Prohibition of Employment as Manual Scavengers and the Rehabilitation Act 2013 prescribes a prison term for one year or a fine of $826 (50,000 rupees) for engaging manual scavengers”, but guess what?  It still goes on.    So the next time you want to kvetch, gripe or bitch about that job…think again.  There’s more info at the two links if you wish to read it.

Forget about running with scissors

Just don’t run into those damned knives.  It’s just the peskiest of damned things.  There you are, just standing around your house extending a knife and your husband just runs into the thing!

The 32-year-old woman who is accused of fatally stabbing her husband in the Hollygrove neighborhood told investigators that he “ran into” her knife during an argument the previous evening, New Orleans police said. Katrina Lampton-Tollette, booked Tuesday night with second-degree murder and obstruction of justice, is expected to appear for a bond hearing Wednesday (Dec. 9) in Orleans Parish Criminal Court.
[and what’s more he didn’t want any medical attention]

A preliminary police report states that Lampton-Tollette and her husband, 42, were in a fight Monday night when she “armed herself with a knife.” Her husband “ran into” the knife, she told police, but he “refused medical attention.”

Now this happened on a Monday night and Ms Lampton-Tollette said she “discovered her husband was ‘unresponsive’ ” on Tuesday morning.  Gee, ya think?

It was homemade fried chicken but was it
finger lickin’ good?

I’m just gonna paste it in because sometimes there’s nothing left to say.

Houston police found a man later identified as Darwin Perez Gonzalez, 34, lying dead around 11:30 p.m. outside near the entrance to the Monte Carlo Apartment Homes on Lakewood Estates Drive.

Several witnesses saw the fight, which started between Gonzales and roommate Reinaldo Cardoso Rivera, 38, over the last piece of homemade fried chicken, a drumstick. They went outside to fight over the chicken, and that’s when Rivera allegedly stabbed Gonzalez with a steak knife.

 Four or five Cuban men live in the apartment, police said.

“There was a single drumstick in the pan,” according to HPD Homicide Detective Fil Waters. “You can’t script this stuff. It’s someone getting killed over a piece of chicken. Pretty tragic.”

Yep, pretty tragic.

Are the Norwegians telling us something we already knew?

Ah the good Norwegians.  They sure know how to explain or describe crazy.  And hell, they haven’t even met the politicians from the gret stet!

If you’re Norwegian or happen to spend a lot of time around Norwegians, then this fact that absolutely blew our minds might not be news to you, but apparently the word “Texas” is slang for “crazy” or “wild,” as in, “the end of the [whatever sport they play in Norway] game was totally Texas!”
Usually, when the word “texas”—as an adjective, most often without capitalization—appears in Norwegian, the context involves the phrase, “det var helt texas,” which translates to, roughly, “it was totally/absolutely/completely bonkers.” You wouldn’t call a person “totally texas”; it usually describes a chaotic atmosphere. –

I’m sorry Texas Monthly, I’ve seen and heard Texas politicians and I’m going to call them “totally texas”, like it or not.

 

Some assorted youtube clips

This guy definitely should have read the owners manual first.  Supposedly he just drove it out of the dealership.

This cat is definitely showing his stuff against the big ole tiger.

These next two bad lip reading clips are especially for Laker and Prolix.

and part two:

Okay Widdershins, this is completely open so discuss as you wish.  Remember there is a Democratic debate tonight and perhaps it will get interesting with the unauthorized data usage thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A happy weekend to all Widdershinners.  This weekend’s stories are from a variety of sources such as our friends at News of the Weird.  Enjoy!

PigGate…David Cameron

At one point in his life, David Cameron, British Prime Minister, took the words of E.B. White in Charlotte’s Web regarding Wilbur the pig quite literally.  Those words were, “Wilbur didn’t want food, he wanted love.”

Cameron, the hoity-toity Prime Minister, is a product of aristocratic privilege.  He’s so straight-laced and uptight, when he has gas his butt whistles like a teakettle.

Porkback Mtn.In a tell-all book from a jilted contributor here’s the story:  During an initiation to a select, highly discriminating club, future Prime Minister Cameron allegedly placed his private parts into the mouth of a dead pig – something along the lines of boy meets hog in the most intimate fashion.

For the record, it was the first time, “Sooey Pig,” actually became the sweet-nothings of foreplay.  It can’t be characterized as normal, consensual man/pig love since the irrumation was post pig passing, or in the vernacular it was “necropiglia”.

To date, no industrious British pub has put a BLT, a BLP, on its menu (the “P” doesn’t stand for pig).

 

Dirty, dirty boyz and girlz…

Clinical field trials for Mother Dirt...

Clinical field trials for Mother Dirt…

Having started with a pig/human coupling, I had to follow-up with this one.

The Cambridge, Massachusetts, company AOBiome believes we have dangerously stripped “good bacteria” from our skins via “excessive cleaning”.  AOBiome has introduced a spray product called “Mother Dirt” to add back what they consider good bacteria to our skin.

Chemical engineer and co-founder Dave Whitlock told WBZ-TV this month that he personally “has not taken a shower in over 12 years,” but instead uses his odorless bacteria-restoring mist twice a day to cover himself with helpful “dirt” that activates the “good” bacteria.  Such personal grooming habits also keep staph staff meetings mercifully brief and to the point.

 

More Animal Farm nonsense…

I’m on a roll with the animals this weekend.

According to a petition filed two weeks ago by Carole Mundy (and reported in the New York Post), she is seeking a divorce from her estranged husband Jeffrey Stein.  Stein is a “top administrator” for New York’s Nassau County District Attorney’s office.

Who knew this was a thing...

Who knew this was a thing…

According to Mundy’s petition, Stein’s behavior drove her to post-traumatic stress disorder with certain of his “lifestyle” choices.  The sordid details go like this:

Stein sometimes wore a chastity belt to work.  Now, I ask you, “Who doesn’t on occasion?”

Sometimes during sex, Stein wore diapers.  At other times, he wore “a horse-tail” attached via an anal plug (now there’s some efficient engineering).  Stein “gallop(ed)” around their home, but sometimes had a catch in his giddy-up because of his anal regalia.  Stein was housebroken and used a litter box, thereby alleviating messy clean-ups.

For foreplay, Stein had his wife “walk” him on a leash.  When he was feeling really sassy, he dressed like a “sissy maid” named “Jessica.”  To top things off, Mundy complained about the relatively normal behavior of Stein wanting to be fed and diapered like a baby.

Mundy’s lawyer complained that the marriage was “a bedroom nightmare.”  I would suggest to Ms. Mundy’s lawyer, don’t be too quick to judge if he hasn’t yet attended the extracurricular activities of the ultra-conservative Values Voter Summit going on right now in D.C.  Compared to Mr. Stein’s antics, the VVS attendees look like summa cum laude graduates of the Caligula School of Debauchery and Scrapbooking.

 

Only in Murica and in particular Flo Rida’s home…

The target audience...

The target audience…

Spike’s Tactical of Apopka, Florida, introduced its version of the AR-15 assault rifle this summer “designed to never be used by Muslim terrorists,” as if that is something anyone other than a slime ball marketer would think about.

The AR-15 is laser-etched on one side with a symbol of the Christian Crusades and on the other, language from Psalm 144 (just for giggles, I looked it up, here’s Verse 1: Blessed be the Lord my strength which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight).

Spike’s Tactical CEO Angela Register predicted brisk sales: “Men like to accessorize their guns more than women like to accessorize their outfits.”

Since this is obviously a marketing ploy, I wonder why they didn’t offer a three-fer special where in addition to the AR-15 everyone got a free mullet trim and a spell check on their tattoos.

 

Forget sexual orientation, let’s move on to highway maintenance…

For years now we have heard about “praying the gay away.”  Michele Bachmann’s sweet cheeks, Marcus, made a fortune at it and got paid by the government for “absolutely faaaaabulous gay exorcism”.

Actual Jackson, MS pothole awaiting prayer...

Actual Jackson, MS pothole awaiting prayer…

Well, Jackson, Mississippi, was listening.  The streets of Jackson apparently have potholes capable of swallowing a life-sized Haley Barbour and these mini-canyons are needlessly slowing down the Klan parades – those sheets and torches don’t deliver themselves.

Here’s the problem, Jackson doesn’t have an adequate budget to fix them.

So what’s a mayor to do?  Jackson’s Mayor Tony Yarber came up with his solution in the hot, sultry, cut-the-humidity-with-a-butter-knife, dog days of August. His earnestly offered remedy: Prayer.

Said Yarber, “I believe we can pray potholes away.”  Yarber didn’t elaborate on whether or not the potholes just grew that way or they were exhibiting a lifestyle choice.

 

Some names in the news…Name

Mr. Daniel Gentleman, 28, was charged with choking and punching his fiancé in Prescott, Arizona.

Ms. Charlene Mess, 48, was charged with killing her husband and burying his body in a manure pile in Attica, N.Y.  Ms. Mess was always nasty.

Mr. Huckleberry Finn was charged with sexual assault in Keene, New Hampshire.  No word yet on whether or not Huck had help from Tom Sawyer.

And when the FDA approved the so-called “female Viagra” drug Addyl in August, it was a big deal.  The announcement garnered lots of attention and I’m sure the selection of the spokesperson was painstakingly undertaken.  When asked about the side-effects, FDA spokesperson Dr. Janet Woodcock, said, “There are no hard and fast, hard and fast, hard and fast rules.”

 

Here’s a video for your viewing pleasure.

Have a great weekend and feel free to take the conversation in any direction you might like to explore.

 

 


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Mueller Testimony Info

 

  • Date: Wednesday, July 24, 2019
  • Times: (Eastern) 8:30 a.m. – House Judiciary Committee hearing; 12 p.m. – House Intelligence Committee hearing

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Kellyanne Conway’s new job

Take the kids to work? NO!

That moment when *your* pussy gets grabbed

You go gurl! h/t Adam Joseph

“The” Book

Nice picture of our gal

Time till the Grifter in Chief is Gone

Hopefully soonerJanuary 21st, 2021
18 months to go.

Mueller Time!

Wise Words from Paul Ryan

B-I-N-G-O!

Only the *best* politicans bought by the NRA

Marching for their lives

Perfect Picture

Rudy: oh shit the pee tape IS real!

Need Reminders?

Never too early to shop for Christmas

“Look this way”

Manafort’s Jail Photo

Indeed who?

Trump spam

IOW Dumb = Happy?

Simply Put

Ironic

Awrite! Here’s your damned wall

Dems are coming for ya

NEXT DEMOCRATIC DEBATES

The next set of Democratic debates – 2 nights again, will be July 30th and 31st on CNN.

Not sure of times.

Lineup for Detroit Dem Debates

NIGHT ONE, Tuesday, July 30, 9 pm Eastern each night

  •     Steve Bullock
  •     Pete Buttigieg
  •     John Delaney
  •     John Hickenlooper
  •     Amy Klobuchar
  •     Beto O’Rourke
  •     Tim Ryan
  •     Bernie Sanders
  •     Elizabeth Warren
  •     Marianne Williamson

 

NIGHT TWO, Wednesday, July 31:

  •     Michael Bennet
  •     Joe Biden
  •     Cory Booker
  •     Julián Castro
  •     Bill de Blasio
  •     Tulsi Gabbard
  •     Kirsten Gillibrand
  •     Kamala Harris
  •     Jay Inslee
  •     Andrew Yang

Moderators will be Dana Bash, Don Lemon and Jake Tapper

There’s even info on who stands where but I’m not interested in who is in the center square.

https://www.politico.com/story/2019/07/18/cnn-dnc-pick-second-debate-lineups-1422147