The Widdershins

Posts Tagged ‘stephen colbert

Initially, I had written another post for today, but in the vernacular, “I just wasn’t feelin’ it,” so instead, here are sometidbits tidbits you might have missed.

Benghazi

Something that hasn’t been talked about regarding Benghazi is, “What were we really doing there?” The tally of individuals evacuated from Benghazi was 30 Americans — only seven were State Department personnel. The others are believed to have been CIA operatives. Another fact morsel glossed over is that on two occasions, Ambassador Stevens refused increased military protection. Was Benghazi a jumping off place for arming Syrian rebels? Was it a secret CIA prison as Petraeus’ latest girlfriend, Paula Broadwell, intimated? We will probably never know what Benghazi truly was, but a State Department diplomatic outpost was a distant second to whatever was really going on.

IRS

There’s a dirty little secret that no one in the media has really tackled — you don’t really need to have an IRS designation to be a “social welfare 501(c)(4) organization.” You can just declare yourself one — raise all the secret money you want — keep the records — abide by the law — and just file as a 501(c)(4). Trevor Potter, best known as Stephen Colbert’s attorney, but who also happens to be a former FEC official agrees with this analysis.

Then why all the hubbub? After Citizens United opened the floodgates, every down-on-their-luck political operative with a bad comb over wanted a 501(c)(4) committee because it meant a big “cha-ching” payday. The upside of seeking a designation beforehand is being able to assure the big money donors they can remain anonymous like shadowy cockroaches.

So you had 70,000 applications inundating a small, backwater IRS division in Cincinnati with 200 employees and a mid-level employee used keywords to sort out approximately 300 applications for further scrutiny. That’s not much of a scandal. What is a scandal is why these little organizations were scrutinized when Karl Rove’s monster death star Crossroads GPS was allowed to lumber around with $70 million vomiting up political ads like an ipecac giveaway on St. Patrick’s Day?

New FBI Director

Good on James B. Comey, the former Bush Administration Assistant Attorney General, who is being nominated as the new FBI Director. He’s the guy who stood up to the Bush White House onslaught over warrantless wiretaps. Comey’s nomination proves people of principle can still finish first.

Weather Weapon

This is fringe of the fringe kooky even for conspiracy theorists. Alex Jones, the best bud of Matt Drudge, explained to his radio audience in the aftermath of the Moore, Oklahoma tragedy, about the government having a weather weapon that “can create and steer groups of tornadoes.” He was reticent to say whether or not the Moore tornadoes were a product of the government’s weather weapon, but gave a homework assignment to his listeners by saying, “Only until there is evidence of airplanes or helicopters flying in the area prior to the tornadoes will we know for sure.” How long do you think that is gonna take?

Baggage Fees

I’ve railed about this before, but last year the airlines collected $6.0 Billion in baggage and reservation change fees — a new record. The reason these fees sprouted up like Viagra peddlers on the internet, is a Bush Administration IRS letter ruling finding these fees nontaxable. Take heart the next time you get dinged by a $50 baggage fee, you are being taxed so they don’t have to be.

Finally, is it just me or is the Terry Bradshaw/Jillian Barbarie Nutrisystem commercial even more annoying than the ad for the ear wax removal gadget where the guy sticks a Q-tip into his brain and screeches, “Owww!”

Have a great weekend.

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Morning Widdershin friends, here’s hoping you aren’t imagining a world without hypothetical situations!

Was watching Stephen Colbert last night (Wednesday evening) and he was interviewing Dr. Neil Shubin, a paleontologist and professor of anatomy who discovered the fossil of a fish with hands.  Stephen was interviewing him about his book — Your Inner Fish:  A Journey into the 3.5-Billion-Year History of the Human Body.  The gist of the book is that humans are the trapper-keepers of all that came before us in an elephantine long weekend spanning 3 1/2 billion years — rocks, parasites, worms, fish, and any sundry other things.

Well, you know what happened — that got me to thinking…

While I can’t claim to have used my human fin hands to unearth such a relic, I think I’m on pretty solid ground in using

Would you like to see my etchings...

Would you like to see my etchings…

the Ampulex Compressa, better known by its street name — the Emerald Cockroach Wasp, in an analogy.

The Emerald Cockroach Wasp likes to lay its eggs inside the exoskeleton of an everyday, run-of-the-mill cockroach.  Well as you might guess, cockroaches aren’t too keen on the idea of being the baby daddy to some flying pest.  To overcome the natural resistance of the cockroach to having its innards turned into a wasp nursery, the wasp stings the cockroach along precise points to paralyze it — sorta like a roofy of the insect world.

This is merely the first step for the Emerald Wasp in setting up housekeeping — now it has to get the much larger cockroach to a burrow for a little privacy before the baby-making can commence.  Given that the roach has been roofied, the wasp can now lead the roach around by its antenna like a dog on a leash and viola, the nursery is now in business.

It seems as though Dr. Shubin may have a point since it seems to me the Tea Party has evolved directly from the Emerald Cockroach Wasp.  The everyday, run-of-the-mill cockroach is the Republican Party, the paralytic stings are “being primaried” by the Tea Party, and the dearth of non-gerrymandered, swing Congressional Districts are the incubators for new generations of Tea Party infestation.  I’m sure Tea Partiers might take issue, but before they get their stingers in a bunch, let me explain.

Raining moneyA perfect example of this Republican evolutionary process is Rep. Tom Cotton from the 4th District of Arkansas who was running in a crowded primary and was a mere 47% down.  He was down, but not quite out — especially when he started receiving FedEx packages stuffed with checks courtesy of the Club for Growth.  This campaign manna totalling $300,000 courtesy of the “Club” guaranteed Cotton a victory in the crowded primary field.

Rep. Cotton is interesting — he’s smart, two degrees from Harvard, he’s a veteran of two wars, he’s a former consultant at McKinsey & Co. — he’s also not beholden to Speaker John Boehner, but he is impregnated with the ultra-conservative ideas of the “Club” and the Tea Party.  Ideas like — it is okay to default on the debt ceiling, it is okay to shut down the government, the only gun control is one’s trigger finger, America is just a bunch of hardworking makers toting around a bunch of takers, and a zygote should be imbued with full constitutional rights.

Sad thing is, Rep. Cotton — a Southern, white, male, radically conservative Member of Congress, is not unique.  Demographically, he’s going much the same way as the wayward fish with hands, but in Congress, he is the archetype of the Republican caucus.  Only through understanding lawmakers like him can we understand why there is a no grand bargain — only grand paralysis.  With Speaker Boehner re-virginizing himself by declaring he will no longer negotiate with President Obama, he has ceded more power to the Tom Cottons of the world and indirectly, the voracious egg-laying Emerald Wasps of the Tea Party.

The Emerald Wasps of these ultra-conservative groups have their stingers not just poised at new members, but also

Sen. McConnell your election isn't until 2014...

Sen. McConnell your election isn’t until 2014…

current members.  For instance, a group called ForAmerica is already running ads questioning if Sen. Mitch McConnell is actually a conservative — a question much akin to, “Is water really wet?”  You can bet the losing lessons of former Senators Richard Luger of Indiana and Bob Bennett of Utah won’t be lost on the terrapin stunt double from Kentucky.

Of one thing I am sure, you can bet the insidious Emerald Wasp spends not one nanosecond thinking about the grand desires and what is good for the cockroach before the paralytic stinging starts — quite consequently, you can bet these uber-conservative influence peddlers don’t either — and with that, so much for evolution.

This is an “all skate” open thread.

Time to March!

Time to March!

By now, we’ve all heard about the various marches that are going on in the next few weeks. We’ve got One Nation Working Together on October 2nd, which appears to be solidifying into quite an effort – if you go to the home page, the first thing you’ll see now is a signup form for up-to-the-minute march updates. In my mailbox, I’ve been seeing emails about more and more big lefty groups signing on, from peace advocates, to the single-payer movement. Not only that, but if you proceed to the home page, you’ll see local lefty events on the right side – and there may be one in your city!  Seeing this great concentration of lefty energy makes me very happy, and expect to see it reflected on this site sometime very soon. (Yes, I’m going to do another site revamp. What the hell, it’s about time.) I find it fascinating that all the media can seem to talk about is the AstroTurfed Tea Party movement formed solely of rightwing extremists and funded by evil billionaires, while a grassroots counter-organization, formed of liberals and other left-leaners, is forming on its own – without any fanfare or any big corporate funding! Gosh, how could the media miss such a big story? (bats eyelashes innocently)

One story they’re not missing is the “dueling” October 30th marches of funnymen Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. According to this story, a couple of days ago Stewart’s march was on track to far outpace Beck’s “Restoring Honor” march on the anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech. (The story claims that an independent firm estimated the attendance at Beck’s rally to be 87,000, which would be less than the 120,000+ who have currently RSVP’d on the march’s FaceBook page.)

Widdershins, I believe that all this marching can only be good for our country. In my crystal ball, I foresee a welcome return to feet-on-the-street lefty activism that hasn’t been seen since the 60’s. But even more than that, I foresee many other marches to restore many other things! Here are a few of the ones I am hoping will materialize (wink wink):

March to Restore Hardware: A benefit march for the boutique renovation company “Restoration Hardware,” fallen on hard times since the Great Recession began.  To be hosted by Michelle Obama and Paris Hilton.

March to Restore the U.S.S.R.: Don’t you miss the times when we knew where the enemy lived and what language they spoke? If so, this march is for you! Join Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Condolleezza “Soviet Studies” Rice as they fight for the return of the Cold War, when Reagan was President and all was right with the world.

March to Restore My Reputation: Hosted by Jimmy Carter, this march is for all those elected officials who believe they have been disrespected by the media, the other Party or their colleagues. Expected to be attended by everyone in Washington, D.C.

This is an open thread.

I wish we could!

I wish we could!

Well, we can’t ignore what’s going on with feminist issues today, but if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry! So, here are some snarky laughs for you today.

The Onion mocks the recent abortion law insanity in the red states .

Stephen Colbert skewers the idea of overturning “birthright citizenship” because of evil wimminz and their “anchor babies.”

And, for Hillary fans, the Onion again:

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—As members of the international press looked on, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton rode on horseback through the streets of Kabul Monday, dragging the mutilated remains of Taliban leader Mullah Abdul Jalil through the dirt behind her. “Graaaaaggghh!” Clinton shouted as a frenzied crowd of supporters shot AK-47s into the air. Earlier in the day, Clinton had led a band of mercenaries through rugged mountain terrain to hunt down Jalil, whom the former senator eviscerated with a single stroke of her gleaming scimitar. U.S. soldiers marched alongside the triumphant, blood-soaked Clinton to the center of Kabul, where she ordered the Taliban leader’s gutted body be hung from the town’s tallest spire, where “all may behold it.” White House sources confirmed that upon returning to Washington, Secretary Clinton burst into the Oval Office, threw Jalil’s head down on the president’s desk, and let out a deafening war cry.

Something tells me the Onion wishes Hillary were President, too. 😉

This is an open thread.


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Blog Archive

April 2018
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Kellyanne Conway’s new job

So similar

Take the kids to work? NO!

That moment when *your* pussy gets grabbed

You go gurl! h/t Adam Joseph

“The” Book

Nice picture of our gal

Time till the Grifter in Chief is Gone

Hopefully soonerJanuary 21st, 2021
2.8 years to go.

Mueller Time!

Wise Words from Paul Ryan

Heroine of the Resistance

B-I-N-G-O!

Only the *best* politicans bought by the NRA

Marching for their lives

Perfect Picture

Perfect Name For Him h/t Daily News

Scary a.f.

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