The Widdershins

Posts Tagged ‘Gingrich

Just six seconds, please play.

 

That was McTurtle about 2:00 a.m. Friday morning. He was not amused at the reappearance of the mavericky ways of Sen. McMaverick.

Amazingly, it was just a mere eight hours or so after Sen. McMaverick, the Lady Lindsey, and RoJo (Dodo – Cheeseland) called a press conference to say, “We hate this hateful bill that we are hating on because we hate it so much we can’t hate it near enough, therefore, we hate it that we can’t hate it more because we only have so much hate to go around, but, we are going to vote for it if Paul Ryan sends us a note saying he hates it too.”

McTurtle’s “shellacking” came only a couple of hours after releasing the text of cobbled together legislation affecting one-fifth of the economy. Mind you these legislative scions wrote the bill after lunch so they could give it the full attention it deserved.

Meanwhile, The Mooch was exhibiting textbook June bug craziness in keeping with his amalgam of hummingbird/mako shark/honey badger genetics. His characteristic enthusiasm was directed toward the orange man baby he’s tending these days instead of his own baby born last Monday while Dolt 45 was corrupting the Boy Scout Jamboree.

The days of Rancid Penis being 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue’s most expensive fly wrangler mercifully ended Friday. In bidding adieu, Rancid said he was going “To spend more time with his family.” When contacted, his family said, “Don’t bother.”

With this crazy Dolt Administration just hanging on by a thread, it is a wonder Newt Gingrich isn’t trying to divorce it.

Rest assured, no matter how crazy this week seemed — it will get crazier. There is no bottom for these lunatics.

In a moment of fleeting optimism, Machiavelli said, “Always assume incompetence before looking for conspiracy.” Having faced all manner of immorality, Machiavelli never envisioned Dolt & Sons, Grifters Extraordinaire — conspiratorial incompetents serving Mother Russia since 2000.

Here are some “CRAZY” songs, but don’t be constrained by just music or “craziness” as a theme. Feel free to post anything you want — tweets, jokes, songs, or stories about adorable new puppies.

 

 

 

 

This is a gaping maw of an open weekend thread for self-care and maintenance of our mental health. Giddy up!

 

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Good evening Widdershins.

Tomorrow morning the Bogey Yam will be announcing his Sancho Panza.  Here are the characteristics that seem most important to der Drumpf – notice that none of them reflect upon the qualifications necessary to lead the free world.

  1. Be obsequious to the point of being bloodied and beaten by an orange meat puppet and asking, “Could I have some more Sir?”
  2. Stare blindly without giggling hysterically when you see a comb over speaking incoherently in a continuous word salad.
  3. Understand word salad and be able to translate into reasonably coherent English.
  4. Own knee pads.
  5. Be able to kiss butt like an Electrolux with a fresh vacuum bag.

Four Veepstakes

Here are the players and a little bit about each of them – some of it true.  Don’t pay attention to the Army guy because he believes in a woman’s right to choose or did for about 12 hours.  As for the possibility of Sen. Joni Ernst being selected, well, think about it, she’s a woman.

Newt Gingrich:  Former Speaker of the House.  Resigned in disgrace under pressure from his own party.  Highest fine for ethical violations in House history.  Other ethical violations too many to enumerate.  Serial adulterer to terminally ill wives.

Chris Christy:  Caustic and bombastic New Jersey governor with historically low approval numbers.  Bridgegate.  Used state money to pay his $82,500 bar and food bill at NFL games in 2010-11.  Other ethical violations too many to enumerate.

Jeff Sessions:  Translucent white Senator from Alabama.  Second judicial nominee in 48 years of Judicial Committee history whose nomination was killed for, among other things, saying he thought the KKK was, “Okay until I found out they smoked pot.”  Rumored to have a tattoo that says, “High walls and short ladders make good immigration policy.”

Mike Pence:  Translucent white Governor of Indiana.  Former House member.  Chronically dim, but incandescently ambitious.  According to D.C. lore, the most dangerous place to be in D.C. was between Pence and a microphone.  Entire career could be entitled, the “Bland Ambition Tour”.  Signed the “You Are Free to Discriminate Against Gays” Bill and caught nine kinds of hell for it.  Twitter Account handle #hoosierdaddy.

 

There you have it.

People believe Trump could pull a Veep out from under the kangaroo scrotum he calls hair in order to fool the press.  A serious candidate wouldn’t contemplate such a thing, but who knows what madness lurks in the ego that was a stunt double for the Indominus Rex in Jurassic World.  If Trump does pull a Houdini, here’s my best guess for the Trump fungible Veep. Notice the resemblance to the aforementioned candidates.

Ham Head

Whoever is ejaculated from that big, pink, stone phallus known as Trump Tower tomorrow morning at 11:00 a.m. EDT will likely wish there was such a thing as a morning after campaign pill. So will we.

What’s on your mind?

 

 

Today’s exercise in wasting time by reading my mental meanderings is a little trip down memory lane.  With 2016 fast approaching, our collective recall might benefit from a little refreshing.  A scenic tour along Memory Lane might be just the tonic we need to ward off the incessant mewling of the media and the ever more righteous right fringers.  Allow me to explain.Trust

You have probably seen it too, but the Republicans are nibbling around the edges of a strategy portraying Hillary as unethical.  It’s unclear what the actual accusations are, but it seems to be a more recent version of anorexic mentality displayed around Whitewater.  You remember Whitewater, the $70 million witch hunt led by the hyper-partisan Kenneth Starr that stained Bill Clinton’s presidency and Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress.

With the Dennis Hastert indictment I was reminded of the ethical quagmire visited upon the country in the late 1990s at the hands and other body parts of the Grand Old Party.  Let’s go to the tape of those who are so easily offended and always have their crosses at the ready to lecture us libruls.

First, there was Henry Hyde who admitted to youthful indiscretions at the tender age of 41.  Hyde’s troubling infidelities came to light after leading the charge against Bill Clinton.  Then came House Speaker Newt Gingrich who was having an affair with someone who was to be his third wife while still married to his second wife with whom he had had an affair while still married to his first wife.  In addition, there were those “small” Gingrich peccadilloes of ethics violations piled upon ethics violations piled upon ethics violations that eventually brought him down.  Then came Gingrich’s replacement, Speaker Bob Livingston who resigned the day of the Clinton impeachment vote for – wait for it – serial marital infidelities.  Then “Hot Tub” Tom DeLay engineered the elevation of Dennis Hastert, the high school teacher turned back bencher Congressman affectionately called “Coach” – the guy who was beyond reproach – the good guy.

Dennis HastertTo make sure this point is not lost:  Leading the procession out of the morality morass, the Republicans turned to an alleged serial pedophile who used his positions of trust and power to abuse young boys.  To measure that abuse by the barometer of money, it was abuse serious enough to warrant $3.5 million in hush money.

Those are just the highlights along Memory Lane, let’s be a little more granular shall we?  There were other seamy scandals like the 2005 resignation of Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-Calif.) after he pled guilty to charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail and wire fraud, and tax evasion.  There was the 2006 resignation of Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) over allegations he sent sexually explicit emails to teenage male pages — allegations that, it turned out, Hastert and other House leaders had done little or nothing to address, despite repeated warnings, until they exploded in public.

We can’t forget Hot Tub Tom who himself was indicted on charges of money-laundering and campaign finance violations in 2005.  The “Coach” even backed a change in the GOP caucus rules to allow DeLay to retain his leadership post – not exactly a profile in ethical leadership.

Then some of the biggest Congressional scandals in history broke. There was the case of the lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who was convicted along with a raft of other lobbyists and congressional aides in schemes involving Native American casinos. Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) pleaded guilty to charges of conspiracy and wire fraud in the case and resigned in 2006.

Then there was Rep. Don Sherwood (R-Pa.) who was defeated in 2006 after revelations of an extramarital affair and allegations that he had physically abused his mistress and Rep. Curt Weldon (R-Pa.) who lost his seat amid a string of controversies and an investigation into suspected illegal ties to foreign companies.Got Ethics

And then there was Hastert’s sweetheart deal of being brought in on a land deal with little contribution beyond the federal earmark for the construction of an interchange on the land allowing him to net millions or at least enough to make $3.5 million in hush money seem reasonable in hindsight.

This isn’t to say there aren’t Democrats who deserve a prime location in the rogue’s gallery of scallywags because there are, but when Nancy Pelosi was Speaker they were dispatched promptly and efficiently.

What is important here is the next time you hear aspersions cast upon Hillary’s ethics you can be sure the glass house from which those allegations are chucked would be well-advised to be fully insured.

Have a great Wednesday and take this conversation in any direction you might like.

 

 

 

 

 

It is the beginning of the New Year and not too early to consider who and when the batch of GOP candidates for president will come out of the woodwork to dazzle the crowds with the news of their intentions to unseat the present occupant and “restore dignity” once again to the Oval Office. The same loss of “dignity” that seems to disappear each and every time a Democrat is sworn in I might add.

Obama was never my choice and up to now, has offered me little by way of enthusiasm to beat the drum on his behalf since from what I have witnessed so far, he has been nothing more than an extension of the Bush policies that have plunged us into the dire circumstances we now find ourselves striving to remove. But I will suggest that if the economy begins to improve, and the unemployment rate begins to fall, he may have a better argument to make in 2012 than just laughing and pointing at the oppositional slate the GOP manages to put forth as an alternative.

Because just looking at the proposed slate that is waiting in the wings is enough to invite the question: with a nation of 300 million people is this the best that we can come up with? Really?

A group who has done little beyond opposing every single policy that has been proposed and whose idea of cutting the budget is through tax cuts for the wealthy no matter the price to be paid in the outcome? A group that has declared that the separation of church and state a “fallacy” and continues to interpret the meaning of the Constitution as something to ignore and rewrite?

Some in this erstwhile pantheon of contenders have blamed the unemployed for their predictment, labeling them as “lazy” and content to milk the system for all its worth while laying back and enjoying the fruits of the government without a care in the world. They are distrustful of regulations and see them as an impediment to business. They view climate change as a hoax. They regard women’s place in society as secondary to the concerns of the unborn as they champion wars that invite nothing but death and destruction and offer that premise as“bringing democracy” to the world. They mock science and adhere to the belief that “creationism” should be taught in schools thus ensuring a setback to education and placing us in the same league as the Taliban.

They promise and predict an end to social safety nets and a desire to “privatize” even the most basic and long successful of government programs which will guarantee putting most of us at risk in the long run. Some of them have even separated the “true Americans” from the rest of us while seeking to protect the richest of all who sacrifice nothing and gain the most.

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Kellyanne Conway’s new job

So similar

Take the kids to work? NO!

3 turds control fate of healthcare for millions

That moment when *your* pussy gets grabbed

You go gurl! h/t Adam Joseph

***Disaster Donations***

Quick links for donations.

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Texas SPCA Donate Page

Houston TX SPCA Donation Page

Red Rover Group

For the Virgin Islands (Community Foundation of the Virgin Islands)
CFVI.net

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https://www.hands.org/

Puerto Rico’s First Lady’s organization:
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Americares (provides medical/health support)
http://www.americares.org/en/

“The” Book

Nice picture of our gal

Time till the Grifter in Chief is Gone

Hopefully soonerJanuary 21st, 2021
3.1 years to go.

Mueller Time!

Wise Words from Paul Ryan

Heroine of the Resistance

B-I-N-G-O!

PHONE CONTACT INFO FOR THE DNC:

202-863-8000

TELL PEREZ AND ELLISON HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT BRAZILE NUT!

Storify version of E. Rogers HVF explanation

Reason(s) to vote for Doug Jones