The Widdershins

Posts Tagged ‘Conway

What a week! Everyone is struggling to explain what is happening. I’ve heard the pundits say it is where “greed meets incompetence” or “malevolence meets the sewer” or any number of unsatisfying descriptors.

It might be an intersection or a confluence, but I prefer the Swindon “magic roundabout”. It is seven traffic circles in one. Here’s an explanation:

So in the Dolt 45 turd-o-matic roundabout, we have greed meeting incompetence meeting malevolence meeting dirty tricks meeting incoherence meeting indifference meeting amorality. It is the non-compunction junction since there are no qualms about any loathsome behavior.

Then last night it became apparent these idiots have sat on these emails for three weeks – emails saying “Clinton-Russia” in the subject line – and yet, they had no plan for dealing with them I was reminded of Burn After Reading, the Coen brothers movie. Burn After Reading celebrated a bunch of incompetents who thought they were genius; when in reality, none of them should have been in public without a Mommy’s Helper leash.

Like a hummingbird during mating season, the excuses have been everywhere all at once. Of course the paragon of square-headedness, Sean Hannity, the dumbest man ever paid to talk on teevee, quickly got to the essence of it all with a demand to investigate Hillary’s emails.

There are bright spots though. People like Russ Douthat ate a big heaping helping of crow:

The benefit of the doubt I extended to Trump was limited, but on a rather important subject: I thought that direct collusion between his inner circle and Russian officialdom during the 2016 campaign was relatively unlikely and the odds of ever finding proof of such a conspiracy vanishingly low.

You can read my argument in full here; it’s a mere six weeks old. It’s also no longer operative, because we know now that Donald Trump’s son, his son-in-law and his campaign manager all took a meeting in which it was explicitly promised that damaging information on Hillary Clinton would be supplied as “part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.”

If this was a tease in the review of a sitcom, the next part would be prefaced with, “hilarity ensued.” Having known about these emails for a month, the crack P.R. Team decided to fabricate a story for release last Saturday that morphed into another story on Sunday that again morphed into another story on Monday, and yet again changed for Tuesday. Honest folks don’t have to lie – repeatedly.

The ambulatory carrot stain has dumbed down normal. Of the top ten recounted in the article, here are a few of my favorites:

  1. It’s not normal for the presumptive nominee’s son to take a meeting with a Russian lawyer who claims she has dirt compiled by Russian governmental forces who want to see your guy win.
  2. It’s not normal for the President to sign off on a public cover-up of that meeting when confronted with the facts.
  3. It’s not normal for the President to hold a Cabinet meeting that consists of his staff gushing over him.
  4. It’s not normal for the President to obsess about cable-news coverage of himself, yell at White House televisions, and instantly react to stories before checking the specifics.

But this is normal for this White House and the person illegitimately occupying the Oval Office. What is not normal is the speed at which Special Counsel Mueller is forging ahead. Mueller learned valuable lessons prosecuting Enron, its executives, and related organizations. He will not be daunted by these halfwits and morons.

In thinking about the week, here are my takeaways:

  1. No matter what happened with the hacked emails, the Russian activities, or the various conspiracies, but for the Comey letter on October 28th, Hillary would now be President.
  2. The Mercer family is battling a $6.0 Billion tax bill. They have also bankrolled Milo, pollster Kellyanne Conjob, Breitbart, Steve Bannon, and Cambridge Analytica, their data mining firm. Someone had to identify and target promising precincts in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania and transmit that information to the Russian bot controllers. There is an electronic trail and the NSA probably already has it.
  3. If only Obama had demonstrated the courage to ignore McTurtle’s obstruction last summer and forge ahead with the warning of Russian interference, Obama would have been proved correct and vindicated by the email saving his legacy and the country from the orange plague.
  4. The tightly choreographed kabuki of the G20, starring Pootie, Lavrov, and Dolt was nothing more than a performance for good old Rexxon. If you are Rexxon, how would you feel being played for the fool on a world stage? Watch for a resignation.

Here’s the last scene from Burn After Reading. They ask a good question. If we learn not to let this happen again by making the name Trump synonymous with Benedict Arnold or genital herpes, we will have learned something of value.

 

What’s on your mind today?

 

Sometimes the greatest ideas crawl out from under the most bizarre rocks.  Here’s how I got to yesterday’s greatest idea of all time.  While surfing the intertubz, I happened upon a list for what makes a dog breed dumb.

He was great with Cher in "Mask"...

He was great with Cher in “Mask”…

Listed among the characteristics for an intellectually challenged dog are:  Difficulty in training, bad memory, inability to distinguish what’s real, and a general confusion about who’s in charge.  As I read the list I realized it pretty accurately described Dolt 45 and the pack of feral animals he’s brought in to sniff his rather ample butt.

His pack of dogs is a varied lot.  There’s the huge BannonMastiff.  Typically it has a completely disheveled, dirty appearance like it has been sleeping under an overpass.  The BannonMastiff drools a lot!  Strange things trigger the drooling like obscure references to European ethno-nationalistic philosophers.  This breed has a strong dislike and mistrust for others.  It will attack other dogs especially mongrels.

Then there’s the Siberian Flynnsky – a very lively breed.  It acts out and is often bored since it lives in a general confusion as to who’s in charge.  At times it is almost as if it hears distant Russian voices.  It is a working breed, but you can never be quite sure for whom it is working.

When it comes to territorial breeds, there is the Chinese Shar-Pence.  The Shar-Pence is very aggressive toward LBGT, hungry people, or pregnant women.  The Shar-Pence will not share.  This breed suffers from health problems, but when it comes to veterinary care, it is a dog eat dog world where only the fittest and most righteous will survive.

There’s also the Speagle – a breed with a little Spicey mixed in with the Beagle.  The Speagle is a piss poor listener and loves to bark.  They are very difficult to train and can be dangerous because they can be confused easily.  Unfamiliar scents cause them to get angry and chase their tails.  They often chase shadows.  Dog clothes never seem to fit the Speagle.

awaiting-confirmationLast, but certainly not least, there is the perceived pack leader, the Toy Teacup Trumpoodle.  This breed can be very amusing, but can be very high-strung.  They can be extremely temperamental.  They snap if they are teased or surprised.  Often they develop the “small dog syndrome” where they believe they are the pack leader.  This syndrome leads to snapping, growling, demanding behavior, and incessant barking.  The Teacup Trumpoodle often has mental stability problems if not trained early.

What got me thinking was how often this ragtag pack wanders off the reservation.  For instance, just yesterday Secretaries Tillerson and Kelly were in Mexico trying to clean up some of the messes of the Teacup Trumpoodle. While on their way to clean things up, the Trumpoodle laid a whole new pile of dog turds at their feet.

This pack is trying a fear-based approach to issues like immigration and overall personal rights.  For instance, children will be treated differently in different states.  In short, where you live will determine your happiness and socialization.  If your parents happen to live in an enlightened state (both mentally and physically), your constitutional protections will be greater than your poor cousin living in a red state where they are clawing their way back to 1950.milo-minus-stefan-equals-miller

It truly seems if our future is being mapped out by a pack of dogs. When it comes to budgeting, these grifters aren’t starting with real economic assumptions; they are making claims and then back-filling with magical hyperbole – a similar exercise to baying at the moon on an overcast night.

Then there are all these dogs hanging at the edges of the pack.  These dogs were originally hanging around the Siberian Flynnsky, but now it seems like more butts than his were sniffed during the campaign.  In fact, many more butts.  There are many questions.

So what’s my idea?  The best dog shock collar is supposed to be Dogtra’s 1900 NCP Field Star.  So my idea is to outfit Dolt 45 and the cabinet with modified shock collars.  But shock collar would show and look unseemly.  That’s when I thought about shock broziers – you know that little extra bit of support for man boobs.

When Dolt 45 and his pack of feral cabinet dogs are acting crazier than outhouse rats, we could shock them with 1600 DC-1 Trainer Broziers.  We’ve already cut a promo ad.

 

Here’s the way I look at it.  It makes no difference if this pack of wild dogs running the country is dumb or viciously evil.  The end result is the same.  Lots of fear, lots of peeing on things we once thought were sacred, and hoping against hope the political pack of wolves will turn on the Teacup Trumpoodle.

What’s on your mind today?

 


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Our 2016 Ticket!

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Busted: Glass ceiling

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