The Widdershins

Posts Tagged ‘Comey

The god couple…

Have you ever saved a fortune from a fortune cookie? I have. Why on earth would a person save a little wad of paper tucked into a baked concoction of egg whites, flour, and sugar? It makes no sense other than it might make you feel good or coincidentally validate some action or behavior in retrospect.

That’s what former FBI Director and Lurch body double, Jim Comey must have been thinking last week. Through all the “mildly nauseous” episodes and the “aw shucks Lordy” moments, it felt like “Long Tall Comey” was feeling almost zestful at the little cookies directed toward the ambulatory orange rind.

It rang true when Comey justified his memo writing by saying he did it because, “The nature of the person.  I was honestly concerned that he might lie about the nature of our meeting, and so I thought it really important to document.”

What didn’t ring true was the triggering of his Hillary madness based upon Loretta Lynch asking if anyone minded calling the exercise a “matter” as opposed to an “investigation”. Really St. Jim? Was that the real trigger for all your madness and criticism of Hillary? Or was it perhaps just political cover?

When I put the pile of crap about the “nature of the orange person” in one hand and the mouse turd of calling something a “matter” versus an “investigation” in the other, one feels considerably weightier than the other.

But therein lies the rub. They might just both be true. Could be. I don’t feel they are both true, but I don’t know for certain. What I do know is that according to my values hierarchy, calling someone a liar who at his core is a dishonest and untrustworthy is a big deal.

Another off-pissing aspect was the credibility competition between Comey and Dolt 45. Invariably the male pundits trivialized the credibility contest as they do with sexual harassment claims. Instead of the insulting “he said, she said,” they dumbed it down to “he said, he said.”

Wrong. It was really “Trump said or tweeted and Comey swore under penalties of perjury.” Trump is an inveterate liar. He doesn’t mind being called a liar. It is a prerequisite for New York real estate development. It is what he does, has done, and will continue to do until his vermilion verisimilitude is relocated to the ninth circle of hell.

Just as Comey’s representations draw conflicted credibility responses due to confirmation bias, there are certain things about this entire sordid affair that only have one side. For instance, if Dolt 45 didn’t know better than to ask Comey to let the “Flynn thing go,” he must have had a series of memory numbing strokes since he asked Attorney General Granny Sessions and dead-eyed Douchner to leave the room.

And here’s something no one has offered to explain: For the past eighteen months, you couldn’t throw an empty vodka bottle anywhere near the Trump campaign without hitting a Russian. Flynn, Manafort, Page, Stone, Seb Gorka, Boris Epshteyn, Sessions, Douchner, Russian spymasters, Russian bankers, plus Boris and Natasha chasing Moose and Squirrel. Even Doltalot’s new lawyer has all sorts of Russian connections. No one has offered the first explanation of why the mango meerkat campaign suffers from an epidemic of Putinophilia.

Like Greyhounds chasing imaginary prey, everyone is going to be running in circles sniffing out obstruction of justice claims. Two points: (1) Obstruction doesn’t have to be successful to be illegal; and (2) Obstruction is always in the eye of the beholder and Republicans are unlikely to ever see it.

The challenge for us, who believe science-based solutions should underpin progressive policy, as we say it around these parts, is to keep our daubers up. We have eighteen months before the midterms and perhaps at least that long before we see the first reports from Special Counsel Mueller’s band of merry marauders. He does seem to be interested in money laundering and financial fraud.

While Russians don’t have fortune cookies, if they had fortune blinis, they might contain this old Russian adage: От тюрьмы и от сумы не зарекайся. Translated – Don’t denounce prison or poverty. It means anyone can lose all their money or be thrown in jail, no matter how they live or behave.

We can only hope for such a good fortune.

What’s on your mind today?

 

Unless you are living under an overpass without WiFi, you know today is Comeygeddon.  The cable news airheads are going to have to take meth to calm down.  They haven’t been this worked up since day before yesterday and there are no signs of calm after the brewing Comeyapalooza.

You dirty rat and I know from dirty rats…

Everyone with a pencil and a scrap piece of paper wrote an article claiming uncanny insight about the Comey pre-ejaculated testimony. If you wanted to read any of those articles, you probably already have.

We are just four months into the term of the orange runny discharge proving the existence of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Very little, if any money at all, has been spent on this investigation so far and the federal government is already stone cold paralyzed. Republicans spent 25 years and by my estimation about $120 million trying to indict Hillary on something – on anything at all. They failed time and again. So for all those Stein/Sarandon/BernieBros creatures – this might be that hidden difference none of these asshats could ever see. I intend to point that out at every opportunity.

By the last count I saw, in 139 days there are already 9 “former” Dolt 45 appointees. When you can’t keep the D Team in jobs and have nominated just 10% of the presidential appointments, it means you can’t organize a one-car funeral much less manage 4 million civil and military personnel. With ticking time bombs on every continent, we are ceding our global leadership to a mental defective with a Twitter account.

Conversation overhead in Moscow hotel after Trump ordered two white Russians from room service…

In order to save yourself some time going forward, don’t worry about the legal intricacies of “obstruction of justice”. No president can be criminally indicted during their term. The constitutional remedy is impeachment. It is a political question. The political heat must be such that the kangaroo scrotum-headed dingleberry is more of a liability than a balm for the base.

Here’s the good news in all of this: Special Counsel Mueller has hired the most distinguished fraud prosecutor in the Justice Department. His name is Andrew Weissmann and some of the pelts hanging from his belt include Enron and several from the mob. Why is that good news? It tells us where Mueller is heading. Friends, the business dealings of the Mango Mucus discharge will not stand the scrutiny of a Weissmann financial colonoscopy.

Dolt 45 cares nothing about this country. He is even willing to offer up family and friends for indictment. What he does care about is his stuff. It gives him value and self-worth. If he senses his fraud-laden paper empire is about to implode, his resignation will be antedated. Mueller is counting on this. Technology has enabled forensic accounting to move at warp speed these days. This process is going to be much faster than Watergate — years will become months.

The lyrics of Karma Chameleon contain some apropos lines for Dolt 45:

I’m a man without conviction
I’m a man who doesn’t know
How to sell a contradiction?
You come and go, you come and go.

Let’s hope today is the beginning of getting the ulcerated umber carbuncle ready for one of his North Korean-esque signing ceremonies – his resignation.

The hearing starts at 10:00 a.m. EDT. Just turn on any television.

 

One hundred thirteen days and the sun still peeked over the eastern horizon this morning. The way things are going, I’m not betting on where, or if, the sun will set.  Writing about current events during the Ides of Orange is like playing Jinga in a windstorm. Not the best idea.

It truly is impossible to try to summarize the news. Therefore, I’m not even going to try. What I am going to do is marry up my behavioral psychology and legal viewpoints to provide a wild guess on where we find ourselves on the 113th day.

First, a disclaimer: I am not going to opine or even guess about Dolt 45’s mental health.  I’m not qualified. What I can do is give you an idea of his behavioral patterns and why he does some of the things he does.

With that said, for recollection, you can go here for Crazy, Stupid, Hate and here for 604,800. The Orangutan makes this stuff so easy. To summarize, he gets every ounce of his self-esteem from the way others perceive him. He is emotionally fragile. Stress enhances that fragility. We are seeing all of these patterns play out.

Next, we need to disabuse ourselves of a few things. The sanctified Office of the Presidency means very little to Dolt 45. It is merely a means to an end. Where any normal human would be awestruck at the otherworldly honor of serving, the ambulatory Cremesicle deems himself entitled to the office.

What Dolt 45 holds dear is money. It is the measuring stick of his self-worth. It is his Superman’s cape. It is his reason for being.

Guys from the home office doing a grab and grin with their franchisee…

If you accept these jumping off points, the rest of this post will be easy to swallow. The Dolt is nervous about having his “fortune and things” taken from him. For the longest time, I have been convinced RICO (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations) would play a part in Dolt’s downfall.

It seems certified good guy, Sen. Ron Wyden is of a similar mind. Sen. Wyden has put a hold on a Treasury nominee until certain documents from the Treasury’s financial crimes unit are produced. Follow the money. In a related event, grand jury subpoenas have issued to associates of Michael Flynn for financial records.

This, to at least my way of looking at things, gives a pretty big incentive to fire Comey. Remember, Dolt and his quislings are political neophytes who have no more insight than the last drunk at the end of the bar.

A few words about Comey:  Zealots clad in self-righteousness have committed more injustices than all the despots in history. Comey is, and has always been, a self-righteous arsonist moonlighting as a firefighter.

Nate Silver has done some amazing work and the last installment was published last week. It is definitive. Comey cost Hillary the election. There is no other way to parse the numbers. In a biting indictment of the media, Nate asks a simple question, “Why is the media in denial about it?”

Another point is this: The Comey letter, after duplicate emails were parsed out, was about 12 emails – none of them new and 10 of them were from auto-syncing. That is the legacy of the self-righteous Jim Comey, but I digress.

Now that we know the financial motivation of Dolt 45 to protect his assets, why did he write the letter? It was a strange letter wasn’t it? All the language about Comey telling the Dolt on three occasions he was not a target of any investigation. All the talking heads have talked themselves into a lather about it. Here’s my answer.

Enter Don McGahn. The guy is White House Counsel. A few words about Mr. McGahn: He graduated from either a non-rated law school or the 143rd rated law school in the U.S. since through some mitosis process his law school split into two. Here’s another data point: McGahn was Tom DeLay’s ethics attorney. One final data point: McGahn also defended DeLay in some nasty business regarding Russian oil tycoons making illegal contributions. Ring a bell?

So Don McGahn is one to watch throughout these coming weeks. My bet, he’s not too bright, but for what he lacks in intelligence, he makes up in sleaze. So why would Dolt 45 put that strange language into the Comey termination letter?

To a legal mind like McGahn, he was building a defense to obstruction of justice, i.e., you can’t have intent to obstruct if you know you aren’t under investigation. It’s dumb, but it is the only plausible explanation from a legal standpoint. One clue: When you see Don McGahn’s name in any article look for a whole lot of stupid to follow.

That brings me full circle with all the actors. Dolt 45 made such a horrendous mistake by firing Comey and then lying about it. He’s torpedoed his press office. He’s torpedoed his own credibility. And his most achingly stupid move is crossing Comey. Remember, Comey is the guy whose reputation was built in a hospital room over the pained and protesting body of John Ashcroft by getting in the face of Alberto Gonzales and Andy Card.  Now who do you think leaked that little vignette?

There are no good guys here. There are only degrees of bad. Dolt 45 will resign. It won’t be dramatic. The incentive will be keeping his money. He has no shame so that is not even an inkling of a consideration. He knows he will be able to command headlines for the rest of his miserable life just like Nixon did. A good person to ask about that might be Henry Kissinger – oh yeah, didn’t he visit the White House this week?

So put on your orange-tinted glasses and watch Dr. Evil talk about his life.  Does he remind you of anyone?

What’s on your mind today?

 


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Our 2016 Ticket!

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