The Widdershins

Activist Tuesday: I Have Been Changed

Posted on: October 9, 2018

Have you all seen this video of Lady Gaga on Stephen Colbert’s show? It’s gone viral. For the words about the Kavanaugh confirmation, start around 3 minutes in.

A bell rang deep within me when Gaga said that trauma changes the brain; that the brain puts the pain in a box and shuts it, so we can survive. I realized that, since the day Drumpf stole the Presidency, I have been living with the pain of that day, and that box, while shut, has had some leaks.

Since November 8, 2016, I have lost some of my sparkle, my joie de vivre. My writing has become more direct, more bland, more generic. Satire is impossible; nothing is more absurd than the fantasy world the Republicans are trying to force down our throats. The plays I used to write don’t come out any more, as I have trouble finding humor in almost anything.

My brain functions more slowly now…I struggle to form sentences quickly and speak smoothly, as I used to. I lose focus at work, because my full heart isn’t in it. I am more prone to depression, to tears, to anxiety.

I’m a natural extrovert; yet, I’ve become more retiring, more reluctant to meet new people. I’m afraid any new person I meet may have voted for the Mango Moron, and I just don’t want people like that in my life. I don’t want to speak to them; I don’t want to sympathize with them; I don’t want to hear their excuses for voting for a racist, misogynist, authoritarian thug.

I have been changed, while the box strained and bulged and the pain and sorrow leaked through.

When the story about Dr. Ford broke, that box opened for me. All the psychic trauma of the past two years came rushing out, along with the memories of my own experiences with threatening men and sexual harassment. Online, I read countless, horrifying stories of women and men, recounting their own #MeToo moments.

Yet as terrible as this was to go through, something unexpected happened after Kavanaugh was confirmed.

I felt better. No, not just better: I felt my brain start to work again. The pall over my emotions lifted. I suddenly realized what was wrong, and that clarity gave me the strength to deal with it.

I was changed again.

Make no mistake, we are living in dreadful times. Drumpf now says he won’t fire Rosenstein. Why should he? Rosenstein helped rig the sham FBI investigation that Flake and Collins used as an excuse to vote for Kavanaugh, and Kavanaugh is the guy Trump thinks will fix any consequences of the Mueller investigation for him and his children. More than that – he will help get all of Drumpf’s dreadful, un-American initiatives past court challenges that have, so far, held them up. The Muslim ban. The transgender ban in the military. Family separation. Babies in jail. Overturning Roe v. Wade. Killing the Affordable Care Act. Deporting legal immigrants back to their “shithole countries.” Etc., etc., etc.

But there’s nothing we can do about that now. We all did everything we could, and we caused a lot of “good trouble,” as John Lewis called it. In the end, the Republicans narrowly managed to elevate their pet sociopath to the Supreme Court.

Now, we focus like lasers on getting out the vote on November 6th. Because if we can get control of Congress, impeachment will be on the table – not just for Drumpf, but for Kavanaugh.

I’m sharp, I’m feeling everything, and I’m ready to work hard for the #BlueTsunami.

How about you?

This is an open thread.

43 Responses to "Activist Tuesday: I Have Been Changed"

Nikki Hayley resigns as UN Ambassador.

I feel your pain, MB.

I have gone though some of the stages of grief and am full blown into the anger stage. It’s much easier to deal with anger than hopelessness or fear.

I have also resigned myself to thinking if Roe vs Wade is overturned, it will be up to the lazy women that thought Hillary was old and feminism was useless…to have to fight for their damn rights again.

All the other issues that may be lost with the Supremes is something I can’t deal with yet and need to be fought like it’s the damn Civil War II.

Our sweet, smart, tough Hillary.

@2, DYB, glad to see the racism of the GOP getting called out.

I like Chris Evans, but he tends to whataboutism most things to Black (and usually male) people’s experience. I’m going to say that white allies have noticed the GOP’d racism for years. And women (except for the brainwashed ones) and their allies have noticed the GOP’s misogyny for years.

@3, Speaking truth as always.


Looks like the alleged energizing of the Rethug base post-Kavanaugh was another gaslighting moment from the GOP. Actually, Democrats’ advantage has increased to 13% on the generic ballot.

As I have been saying to friends, “They have no idea what they have unleashed.”

Maggie’s dad and former NY Times person.

Insane doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Shit. Further aggrandization of for-profit healthcare, and I suspect this will not be good for patients.

CVS’s $69 billion merger with Aetna approved in deal that could transform the health-care industry

@13. Yeah. Remember when vertical monopolies were considered a Bad Thing?

Wonderful post, madamab. I’m still in the ‘discouraged’ mode. I wish I were more optimistic. Hopefully, I’ll get there. The GA governors race is just too close for me to hope. When Jason Carter ran in 2014, all the polls said they were neck and neck, then he lost by 8. Also, since Stacey Abrahms is a black woman, the racist Republicans are going to come out in droves. Not to mention our screwed up voting system and machines. I really want to see her win.

This article has a lot of what Brian Kemp has been up to as SOS, including his clashes with Abrams’ voting registration group, but things like this are part of the problem: (in bold)

Abrams’ group took Kemp to court that fall, claiming that nearly half of the 85,000 potential voters they said they’d helped register that year weren’t on the rolls.

Kemp argued that Abrams’ group was making up that number and claimed they’d processed everyone who’d registered by the voting deadline. A GOP-appointed judge ruled against Abrams, saying the law didn’t force Kemp to process voter registrations by Election Day even if they were submitted before the state’s registration deadline.

In the year after the election, more than 18,000 of those voters were added to the rolls, showing that their applications had been slow-walked.

@16, and I bet the majority of those are POC.

I have tried to stay away from political news for a couple of days to lower my rage meter. Today I heard that Dump and his dumpsters cheered, “Lock her up”, at Diane Feinstein and Melania, the dumbbunnie said, “…victims who make accusations of sexual misconduct “need to have really hard evidence”.

What do I expect from someone married to the Dump Truck…

@22 Shadowfax, yes, the media keeps trying to make Melania sympathetic. Of course she’s the first Firs Lady they’ve tried that with. There is never a negative story about her. All the negative things are of Melania herself saying something despicable, which she does often. She was a Birther also. But the media keeps trying to make us love her. In fact, she is complicit in everything.

@19 – that story about Roberts is telling. He received those complaints on 9/20, but waited until Kavanaugh was confirmed to the bench before referring them on to a court that could handle them legally. Now that Kavanaugh is on the bench, the court will close the complaints. Republican corruption at work, friends.

@22 – There is quite a bit on Twitter about how WE are allegedly the “mob” when Drumpf’s cultists are the ones calling for violence.

Have you all been following Hurricane Michael? Holy sh*t. Stay safe, GAGal and Fredster!

@15 GAgal said: Wonderful post, madamab. I’m still in the ‘discouraged’ mode.

Me too. Some things even being back in nola can’t fix or help.

@8: Oh jeebus! I’m convinced that at a certain point in life no one should let another person see them naked. I mean at this point I even try to cover the mirrors.

@26, well at least in the daytime or if bright lights. However, in the dark or by candlelight is different. *smirk*

@20, Wray is a squirmy duplicitous individual. He’s determined to not say “no” or “yes” without a shitload of qualifiers.

@28: Or with sufficient cocktails.

@29: I wonder who will be posting dates/cities?

@26: Fredster, that’s because your mama raised you right.

I think that after a certain age, we should all make love the way that-allegedly- Mormons do: wearing voluminous, Ebenezer Scrooge style nightshirts with strategically placed holes.

@35 – That’s the way Hasidic Jews do it!

@35: Really??

Hey, what about all this “body positive” philosophy? Or is that only for young plump people?

@38: They may be plump but time hasn’t shifted stuff around much either since they’re young.

Kanye West tells Trump MAGA hat made him feel like ‘Superman’

Sad, maybe his meds don’t help…or he is just another Dump supporter.

NEW POST from quixote!

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