The Widdershins

Archive for January 7th, 2018

Happy Weekend Widdershins!

I have to give a big tip-o-the-hat to Craig Pittman of the Tampa Bay Times for his year-end roundup of the strange and weird news in Florida.  I wanted to do one of these weird news posts for awhile and especially in Florida. Mr. Pittman has made that very easy to do.  I have to wonder if the tRump Clan being there contributes to any of the strange news in the Sunshine State.  At the least it cannot hurt.  So let’s take a look at a few of the choice strange things that happened in 2017 in Florida.

As Pittman says, some of these things became almost instant classics:

“Man accidentally shoots self in road rage incident,” and “Possum breaks into liquor store, gets skunky drunk” and “Polk City woman arrested for DUI on a horse.”

Of the ones above I have to wonder how the horse felt about the inebriated rider. Could the woman have ridden the horse any worse than Roy Moore did?

I seem to recall something similar to this happening in a drag queen contest but that one involved ripping wigs off of heads:

A woman in a bikini contest in Stuart was busted for bashing a competitor in the head with her high-heeled shoe (neither won Miss Congeniality).

We’ve probably all seen some videos from The Villages retirement community in Florida.  It’s big and the residents love them some golf carts.  Apparently they like some meth also.

When a SWAT team raided a home in the retirement mega-community of The Villages, police found more than just the meth lab they’d expected. They also discovered it was a chop shop for stolen golf carts.

And apparently these aren’t your run-of-the-mill golf carts but some seriously customized ones, so you can see why there might be a chop shop there:

Some of these weird news items just made me want to go “Huh?”

In December, a Lawtey woman who was charged with stealing statues, figurines and even concrete benches from a cemetery was dubbed “the Gravesite Grinch.”

I’m wondering if this woman was having a themed Thanksgiving dinner:

In November, a woman was charged with shoplifting while dressed as a turkey.

Apparently this guy had seen the warnings about not watching the eclipse without wearing some sort of eye protection

In August, a fleeing car thief got caught when he stopped at a hardware store in Kissimmee to buy a welder’s mask so he could watch the solar eclipse.

Sex and/or variations on that theme played a part in some of the more entertaining news bits from Florida:

A man who was stealing a trailer in Cooper City stopped long enough to have sex with his accomplice.

In Sarasota, a tennis match had to be halted because of the noise from a couple’s amorous exploits.

In Fort Walton Beach, a woman told police that she attacked her husband only because he threw her sex toys at her.

And then there were the ones involving critters of various and sundry types:

A Clearwater Beach man risked eviction from his condo because of his devotion to his emotional support squirrel.

An Englewood family heard a noise in their attic and soon learned the source was a 6-foot boa constrictor — and that the snake had apparently been living there for more than two years.

My favorite with the animal stories was this one:

A Lee County woman, 71, was attacked by a 10-foot alligator while she was working in her garden. She fought the gator off by stabbing it in the nose with her garden shears.

That’s a lady who takes her gardening seriously.

And then there were the ones involving weapons of many types:

A Micanopy school was placed on lockdown when a man threatened parents in the car line with a gun and a dead possum.

A Lehigh Acres man was asleep in a chair when his dog barked, startling him, so that he jumped up and knocked a .25-caliber pistol off an end table, and when it hit the floor it shot him in the thigh.

A Plantation police officer giving a gun safety lesson to schoolchildren warned them that his Taser was not a toy, then accidentally Tasered a 10-year-old.

A Jacksonville man sat down on a gun in the driver’s seat of his car, and it shot him in the penis.

A Vero Beach woman attacked a police officer with an electric toothbrush.

* * *

In keeping with the odd/strange (stupid?) news, I saw one clip of this and it reminded me of how many times people ignore both speed limits and warnings about this bridge which has very low clearance.  The bridge is in Durham North Carolina and it is amazing how many drivers ignore flashing lights, big, huge yellow signs and other things that seem to shout out:  HEY BIG TRUCK!  DON’T TRY DRIVING UNDERNEATH THIS.  IT WON’T END WELL.

This Penske truck appears to pop a wheelie when it’s introduced to the bridge.

This one involves an All My Sons professional (?) moving truck.  Apparently the sons are Eric and Don Jr.

There are lots more of these videos at youtube.  Just put 11 foot 8 in the search box and you’ll find them.

Okay, that’s it for today.  Open thread of course.

 

 

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Kellyanne Conway’s new job

So similar

Take the kids to work? NO!

3 turds control fate of healthcare for millions

That moment when *your* pussy gets grabbed

You go gurl! h/t Adam Joseph

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Texas SPCA Donate Page

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“The” Book

Nice picture of our gal

Time till the Grifter in Chief is Gone

Hopefully soonerJanuary 21st, 2021
2.9 years to go.

Mueller Time!

Wise Words from Paul Ryan

Heroine of the Resistance

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TELL PEREZ AND ELLISON HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT BRAZILE NUT!

Storify version of E. Rogers HVF explanation

Reason(s) to vote for Doug Jones

tRump wants one of these

Only the *best* politicans bought by the NRA

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