Take a bowel…
Posted March 31, 2017on:
As Robin of Batman and Robin fame said, “Holy Stomach Ache!” It’s the ache that won’t go away. It’s IBS-D – Incredibly Boneheaded Scandals with Delirium.
Where to start? It’s like a fart in a whirlwind – it’s everywhere all at once, it stinks, and you don’t know who’s to blame.
What these IBS-D sufferers have yet to meet is my “little friend”:
Fortunately, our little friend is the “truth” – a close cousin of reality. It has a tendency to arrive each morning with the sunrise. Let’s review a few of these IBS-D victims.
You have Rep. Devin Nunes who got a call and started an odyssey straight out of Austin Powers. Nunes went to the White House to be briefed by wet-behind-the-ears NSC staffers, one who formerly worked for Nunes and the other who was to be fired but got a reprieve from Dolt 45, examined sensitive raw intelligence, got up the next day, had a press conference, and went back to the White House to tell them about things he had learned twelve hours before at the White House. Nunes is a liar and he has officially admitted it. Question is: Was he lying then, now, or both times?
Or Michael Flynn, woebegone National Security Adviser for 24 days and leader of “lock her up” chants, is peddling himself as a candidate for immunity for his “story” because according to his attorney, “He’s got a story to tell.”
Maybe the truth can’t be trusted if it is proven by science. Look no further than Scott Pruitt, EPA Administrator, who said the “EPA was returning to sound science in decision-making,” by ignoring it and allowing the continued use of a pesticide particularly harmful to children. Dow Chemical is happy with their life-sized skin puppet named Pruitt since the neurotoxic poison only harms children’s brains.
Then there is our Secretary of State T.Rex Tillerson – a human silver ridgeback gorilla. In keeping with OSHA standards for dealing with human ridgebacks, State Department employees have been instructed “not to speak to him directly — or even make eye contact.” As we know around here, a company lifer like T.Rex will always go along to get along and an original idea would kill him.
Or maybe we could go out to Kansas and visit with the original Tea Party scarecrow Sam Brownback. Governor Brownback has now hit the conservodroid trifecta. He cut taxes driving the state to the brink of bankruptcy, he did lasting damage to the state’s education system, and now he has vetoed expanded Medicaid. There’s 150,000 poor Kansans who wish Brownback was already ambassadoring in Italy since they have a nice anatomical spot picked out for something shaped like a boot as a parting gift.
Back in D.C. to avenge the failure of the American Health Care
Atrocity Act, all the men folk got together and decided the “manly man” thing to do was to blame a woman. Go figure. Just like with the Nunes story, it’s a story with more credibility stretch marks than Chris Christy after a Krispy Kreme drive-by looting. The woman guilty of not being a man, Katie Walsh, will be working with yet another “Mercer” group.
Speaking of Gov. Krispy, his bridge trolls were sentenced to prison this week. Krispy was in D.C. being “injected” as chairman of an opioid task force. I find it incredibly rich for Christy to be put in charge of any effort to gain self-control over the ingestion of substances.
And just one last thought. We are a country of 320 million people. If the very best advisers we have in this country are a guy who worked for a fringe conspiracy website, a creepy daughter/wife, and a son-in-law whose college application had a $2.5 million check pinned to it, then I’ve got more than a touch of real IBS-D.
What’s on your mind today?
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