Posted February 3, 2017on:
I love words – especially words that convey a feeling. Recently the German Embassy introduced me to my new favorite word:
Muffensausen! It isn’t a thing. It’s a condition. You can find yourself in a state of muffensausen. The term consists of the word muffe, meaning a sleeve or piping. The sausen means to “rapidly flow out” or “to swoosh by”. So if you are having muffensausen it means you are so scared you’ve lost control of your bowels.
Paradoxically, never before had I thought about the true meaning of being “scared sh!tless,” but our German friends have given us the perfect word for the reign of Lord Commander Marmalade. These days I’m in a constant state of muffensausen.
Everything Lord Dampnut (anagram of Donald Trump) has touched with his freakishly small paws has turned exquisitely FUBAR. First, we have the Mango Meerkat drunk-dialing, or better said crazy-dialing, long-term allies and yelling at them. Europe is actually asking if the U.S. has morphed into an existential threat. From a NYT article:
A European official, Donald Tusk, created a stir this week when he wrote a letter to 27 leaders of the bloc’s 28 member states suggesting that the Trump administration presented a threat on a par with a newly assertive China, an aggressive Russia and “wars, terror and anarchy in the Middle East and Africa.”
Coincidentally, the White House is leaking like an incontinent colander at a watermelon eating contest. There are quite detailed accounts of phone calls and even transcripts being thrown over the transom for an abused press to feast upon and feast they are.
His crazy doctor, who looks like Bannon with greasier hair, but better skin, is even leaking about the Trumpanzee’s prostate medication. In case you’re wondering, the way to get that fresh kangaroo scrotum look for your hair is right through your prostate or so says his doctor whose business cards have, “very famous doctor” under his name.
The guy who looks like the product of an inflamed hemorrhoid having had make-up sex with a more disgusting inflamed hemorrhoid is at the epicenter of all this mishegas (another great word). Around here we’ve known Bannon was trouble from the get-go. People are catching on and the cross-hairs are trained on him. Foreign Policy magazine even called him out.
He’s got a bootlicking henchman, Stephen Miller, who has a resume resplendent with the paragons of conservative thought – Michele Bachmann, Beauregard Jefferson Sessions, and Tea Party ding-a-ling David Brat. At 31 or 32, no one is quite sure from which rat mischief he creeps (a group of rats is called a “mischief” and is there any more appropriate word for this White House infestation).
Effectively, it seems Bannon and Miller masterminded the travel ban, kept it secret, and made sure it was legally and administratively worthless through their bumbling. Of course, there are those who are wholehearted believers — the people we decent folks call “deplorables”. These deplorables even had a “DeploraBall” around the inauguration. Representative of this mélange of madness is Cassandra Fairbanks, first a BernBrain, who then settled on Trump:
“[M]yself I thought, his message makes sense.” She appreciated Trump’s opposition to political correctness… “I started saying a few pro-Trump things on Twitter, and people absolutely lost their sh!t,” she said. “I got called a literal Nazi so many times, I eventually went, Fu*k it, I’ll just go all in.” She now writes for Sputnik, a news site funded by the Russian government.
Fairbanks joined up the night of the DeploraBall with a group of like-minded “Proud Boys,” a pro-Western fraternal organization for men who “refuse to apologize for creating the modern world.” Aside from drinking Budweiser on a rooftop, their other challenge for the evening was figuring out how to put on their Pepe pins.
Each time I read about people like Ms. Fairbanks and the Proud Boys, I wonder: Can it get any worse? And I’m sorry to say, yes it can. Excising the Jews from the Holocaust Remembrance is too thoughtless even for these brain-dead illiberal xenophobes.
Referencing this new avenue of Holocaust denial from the White House is the epitome of disgusting. It is so disgusting I have no words to describe the muffensausen engulfing me. But, if you take the first letters of each of my paragraphs, somehow I have found the chutzpah for a special message to Lord Commander Marmalade.
What’s on your mind today?
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