Posted January 13, 2017on:
All too often, internet shorthand stumps me. So off I go to the Urban Dictionary, like I did with “tbh” and “to be honest,” until I saw it I had no idea.
You are probably wondering why I’m going out of my way to advertise my ignorance? Pretty simple: Actively seeking understanding is power. We “libruls” understand that. Those on the other side have retooled their party around the credo of “power through obfuscation and misunderstanding.”
It’s as if there’s a “Parade of Deplorables” being led by a bloated balloon of neediness in the shape of an orange-hued con man and a drum majorette, Khaleesi Conway, a breeder of dragons who makes nightmares come true. To paraphrase Lt. Aldo Raine from Inglourious Basterds, “You probably heard PeeOTUS and Khaleesi Conway ain’t in the truth-tellin’ business, they in the double-dealin’, deceitful, duplicity business. And cousin, business is a’boomin’!”
Tbh, their shirtless BFF Putin hasn’t been this happy since he found a use for that third nipple. Just think, with a set of rubber sheets and a couple of small-bladdered babushkas, half the American public no longer trusts the CIA while the Republican Party is one shot of vodka away from being Putin’s baby mama.
This Kremlin/FSB hacking operation couldn’t have shaken American institutions any more if you had hidden a quart of oil and turned loose a Oklahoma fracking operation.
This operation has brought out all manner of gaseous Russian nesting dolts. Those people who whine and bray about those 70,000 white guys in Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wescottsin who are pissed off that their 72 inch flat screens only have 200 sports and 600 porn channels.
To hear the likes of comrade Bernie and Frau Jane tell it, we need to chase these 70,000 guys out of their deer stands, off their four-wheelers, and camp out at Nascar races to tell them how much we empathize with their economic plight. We have to tell them they have an NRA guaranteed constitutional right to earn about twice as much as a teacher, have better health care, take four weeks vacay, as long as they worship the good book, Hillbilly Elegy, and pray to a guy named J.D. Vance.
It’s now a religion to accept the child abuse of J.D.’s dysfunctional family as a quaint sociological Uber-ride straight to 1955 without mention of the purple bruising against their lazy lily-whiteness. This “other side of the tracks” chic is a fixer-upper just like a mid-century renovation without the “open concept” kitchen.
For poor millionaire folks like Bernie, Frau Jane, and J.D. (Just Darlin’), it has to be about the economics because, “They is kind. They is smart. And they is important.” But, to be honest, “No it ain’t.” It is because the Trump voters are hostile sexists and rabid racists. And in Kentucky, they can no longer have sex with their pets, but they can continue to indiscriminately date other barnyard animals.
Here’s what their sexism and racism looks like before they buy an oven mitt celebrating it at Cracker Barrel.
Even after their tattoos have failed spell check, it is possible to overcome this WWE/MMA mentality. It only takes 10 minutes of engaged storytelling. For the 70,000 unibrowed, deep-set eyes crowd, “It places a premium on being smart but is skeptical, even contemptuous, of public displays of the work of getting smart…Ours is a culture of cleverness, not of knowledge, one that is far more comfortable in assessing wit than in assessing evidence.”
This will-o-the-wisp cleverness, written in spasms of 140 characters, is where these political Yetis dwell – sniffing at Proust, but reeking of Breitbart and waxing eloquent from the verbal explosive diarrhea of Alex Jones. The internet’s public square is littered with the intellectually homeless.
Tbh, collectively we are impressed with a Texas oil guy who was CEO of a gang of international mud engineers who now believes he can master Foggy Bottom in one grand leap of fastidiousness. Everyone is focused on the bigness of his office, but is missing the smallness of the man. I have never known an executive who is a lifelong company man – a man who has never been challenged with a new corporate “repotting” – who is kept awake at night by original ideas.
Tillerson, a man who is a success by fluffing the corporate rung just above him, and the clamorous Yam, whose greatest joy is pissing upon those below him, are uniquely unsuited for vistas of self-awareness and discovery. You can easily see the commanding vacuity of Tillerson – he’s a man who sends his shirts out to be stuffed.
The lesson we are about to learn is a simple one. Actions borne of anger are seldom, if ever, decisions celebrated for their clarity of purpose. The Trumpanzee is uniquely adept at flinging the feces produced by the prolific arseholes of the Tea Party. He’s a Vesuvius of frothing at the pie hole and a Death Valley of generosity of spirit – the perfect avatar of crippling anger and brilliant ignorance shining from a hilltop as a beacon of impending disaster.
To be honest, the Trump/Putin administration offers vintage rage rarely seen more than once a century. The Chinese curse of living in interesting times could not be truer if it were printed on a Trump tie and shod in Ivanka boots.
What’s on your mind today?
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