Posted October 11, 2016on:
Good morning Widdershins. We are in D+36, freshly scrubbed from Sunday night’s Republican pre-Halloween grave digging. It was as if the Headless Horseman borrowed someone’s jack-o-lantern, carved a hen’s butt for a mouth, and turned it loose for a Walking Dead audition.
All the polls say Hillary won the debate by double digits. There was carping by Leftie bed wetters about why Hillary failed to put the Yam away. Here’s why she didn’t: Strategically, there is nothing better than having Trump as the head of the Republican ticket.
If Hillary had put the rancid, orange Vienna Sausage away, Republicans would have hightailed it like there was a fire at the two-for-one whorehouse. A ticket led by Trump is Nancy Pelosi’s readmission to the Speaker’s Office. Trump is going to be tied around every Republican candidate like a cheap Chinese necktie. Unlike Obama, Hillary and her pips are playing three-dimensional politics for Democratic down ballot candidates.
Hillary flourished Sunday night, we survived, and we saw that a cornered rat is always full of fight, but still susceptible to its love of fermented diary products. The clamorous Yam’s behavior isn’t surprising. He can’t be what he’s not – so we can forget the possibility of a decent person miraculously appearing.
I believe what we saw Sunday night was a preview of a new cable channel – low def CDS. It seems as if the polarization profiteers have gained absolute control of the orange gorilla’s snortables in order to go full tilt in the pursuit of salacious vulgarity. Who are these polarization profiteers of whom I speak?
Steve Bannon, Breitbart’s pernicious earwig, David Bossie, a hissing cockroach whose entire career has involved Clinton derangement, and Chatty Kellyanne Conway, the cow killer mutillidae, the real charmer and great pretender of the insect and political world. They have been hating Clintons since Marky Mark was still running with the Funky Bunch.
All three of these psuedo-humans perfectly mimic their diabolical insect namesakes. When we thought they couldn’t go lower, they went all Deepwater Horizon on us. They have learned when you ride a tiger; it is awfully hard to dismount.
The most honest thing the crumb at the bottom of the Cheeto bag ever said was, “I’ll run for President and make money at it.” That’s what we saw last night – a sneak peek of coming attractions on the CDS channel, the visual fever swamp of the Alt-right deplorables.
There will be a remake of Murder She Wrote in her Emails. There will a soap opera Days of our Wives that times the marriages of these cretins with a sweep secondhand. There will be a wildlife show like Animal Planet, but it will be called Animal Penthouse as a live feed from Trump’s office and apartment. Of course, there will be Scandal updates on the hour and the news will be Fairly Unbalanced. After hours there will be a soft-porn homoerotic, all shirtless Putin program.
Undoubtedly, Roger Ailes will be in charge of personnel, leg cameras, and skirt height. Rudy Giuliani will have a show called The 4 Ds: Dementia, Dental Disease, and Divorce. Chris Christie will have two shows – a new take on a cooking show called, Believe Me, I Ate the Whole Thing and Bridgegate: Stories from Prison.
This CDS channel will be the first cable channel to utilize smell-o-vision. Tuning in will reek of regret just like its owners and stars. These people live their lives with such iridescent regret their only outlet is spewing vituperative bile to ease their self-loathing. Just like junkies who need more and more for a better high, they need any facade of political correctness to be stripped away so their venomous attacks can be sprayed with reckless abandon.
The CDS channel will service those who believe Fox is too polite and environmentally friendly. Unhampered by logic or science, the CDS will be long on “feelacts” – those things that feel like facts. All I can say is: Since people who get their news from Fox would be better informed if they listened to no news at all; those who come to be informed by the CDS will be given two coupons for the nearest drive-by lobotomy clinic just in case the first one doesn’t take.
Sunday night Donald Trump did what he knows how to do – belittle, beleaguer, and degrade a woman on stage as well as four seated in the audience. He tried to intimidate through sheer size and Lurch-like looming. If his sentences were jigsaw puzzles, we still wouldn’t have the outer edges fitting together, but we recognize the picture on the box top – Greed and Narcissism by Trump during his orange period.
Of this I’m sure, just like Fox, Limbaugh, Hannity, and the rest, the best thing for the business of CDS is a Hillary Rodham Clinton administration. Listen closely and you can tell it’s part of the business plan of the polarization profiteers.
What’s on your mind?
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