TSA: Trump Scatological Abatement
Posted October 6, 2016on:
Thirty-three days left.
Officially, it has been 3,083 days since the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee back on May 31st, 2008. You remember that meeting. The ill-fated conclave of crotch fleas and eczema models who stole the nomination from Hillary.
We here at TW are nothing if not helpful. We think of ourselves as the typing personification of late night public service announcements. Those PSAs coming on right after infomercials asking, “Do you poop enough?”
Here’s how I want to help you today. If you are like me, through no fault of our own, a Orangeloupe supporter who poops out of their mouth is likely to confront us. Invariably, the “genius” business acumen of the Trumpanzee will surface somewhere in the explosive diarrhea masquerading as communication.
So sit back, relax, and warm your cockles by the infrared radiation streaming through your nether regions courtesy of your laptop. These next few paragraphs will give you plenty of ammunition to fight back against these Trumptanic zombies.
So our story begins, as so many of these stories do, in a simpler time. It was a time when ketchup was considered a vegetable, when eating off thousand dollar plates was a sacrifice by our leaders, and matters of state were determined by astrologers and horoscopes. It was a time of “young bucks feasting on T-bones and welfare queens joyriding in their food stamp Cadillacs.”
It was the 1980s. A time of trickling down economics, an addlepated, early stage Alzheimer’s president, a savings and loan bailout bigger than 2008, and masterful tinkering with the tax code for the rich and infamous.
One such example was the Tax Reform Act of 1984. Getting all biblical, this Act became “great with loopholes, and unto this Act was born Section 108. Throughout the land, there were great tidings of joy among real estate developers.”
I’m not going to get into the fine details because you, unlike me, have interesting lives. The long and short of it is this: This loophole was not conceived through Immaculate Conception. This loophole was conceived through the real estate lobby’s unrelenting and ravenous appetite for Croesus-like profit without risk or danger. This loophole allowed developers, like the Manhattan Mango, to claim losses of an entire project while only making a small fractional investment.
For example, say a project was going to cost $1.0 million. If a developer put up $100,000 and a bank financed $900,000 and the project went belly up, this Section 108 loophole allowed the developer to claim the whole $1.0 million loss if it was held in an S Corporation.
Now that sounds complicated doesn’t it? Well, I’m here to tell you it ain’t. It’s tax law 101 kinda stuff. It’s not rocket science, but it is Cialis for real estate tools.
It just took eighteen (18) years to kill this loophole. Litigation all the way to the Supreme Court couldn’t do it. Congress finally, in 2002, voted to kill it. Voting with the majority to kill it, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
So when your acquaintances start yammering about the brilliance of the herpetic orange tinted navel lint, cut them off at the knees with these facts.
- The net operating loss was not a one-year feat. The $916 Million Dollar loss is likely the culmination of paying way too much for assets and then being unable to service the debt. Most notably, the NJ casinos, the Plaza Hotel, and a yacht that eventually had to be sold at a loss. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, the Orangesicle essentially financed at Payday Loan rates when he ought to have been shopping at Wal-Mart.
- More than 500,000 individual taxpayers took advantage of this same loophole in 1995. The average loss they claimed was just $97,600. The clamorous Yam’s losses that year accounted for almost 2 percent of the national total.
- From what we have seen of the Yam’s earning power – it ain’t great. The 1995 partial return shows him earning $3,427,092. A nice salary, but that is not the salary of a billionaire. It isn’t really the salary of a successful New York developer. It is the salary of someone who should be listening to investment advice, not giving it.
- When the Yam says, “He’s got a fiduciary duty to pay as few taxes as possible,” he doesn’t know what “fiduciary” means. A fiduciary is someone who acts for another with the best interests of the other person being foremost. Trump works for himself. He files his taxes as an individual. All his entities, to our knowledge, roll up to him PERSONALLY. He is not a fiduciary. He is a money-grubbing, nubbin-fingered, orange tinted sloth – not a fiduciary.
5. When Trump and Chatty Kellyanne bray about him paying all kinds of taxes, they are either supremely ignorant or have graduated from the same school of world-class lying as Raygun impersonator Mike Pence. Here’s the little secret for real estate. Every tax, every last cent of it for commercial property, is allocated into rents. The owners pay virtually nothing. Trump, being self-employed, pays no federal taxes other than a self-employment tax (which everyone does) and the federal unemployment tax which is only 6% on the first $7,000 in salary. Trump just collects the taxes his employees pay and then remits them. He doesn’t pay any real estate taxes. He pays no property taxes other than on what he might personally own. Long and short of it – Trump is lying like a snake in a wagon rut when he claims to pay this litany of taxes. He collects the taxes other people are paying, stuffs them in an envelope, and sends them to the government.
While trying to explain these points to knuckle-dragging troglodytes who plan to grunt and use their own feces to make an “X” for the clamoring Yam on Election Day, remember to keep your hands away from the cage. Just another helpful TSA hint.
What’s on your mind today?
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