Special Post: Debate Night
Posted September 26, 2016on:
Good evening Widdershins.
It’s here. The night has come. It’s “THE DEBATE” in all its jittery-goodness.
For you history buffs, this, to the day, is the 56th anniversary of the first Kennedy/Nixon debate in 1960. Prior to tonight, it had been the most consequential debate. Most folks feel the consequences of tonight are far more important. An orange hemorrhoid of know-nothingness versus the most qualified person to ever run for President. What could go wrong?
For months people have been navel gazing about tonight. My navel and I claim no special knowledge, but when has that stopped either of us? So here is my best guess.
The traffic cone wearing a kangaroo scrotum is possessed of one thing – an ego slightly larger than the Dumbbell Nebula (it’s an actual thing).
The orange creamsicle made a solemn promise to the hordes of adoring troglodytes who now revel in being called “deplorable”. That promise: I will destroy Hillary Clinton in the debates.
No matter how much Chatty Kellyanne has pleaded will stop him from being who and what he is. The Manhattan Meerkat will not be able to contain himself. Roger Ailes and Steve Bannon will have filled him with pithy barbs and one-liners. They will spill out throughout the evening, but filling ninety minutes with that stuff is a bad Las Vegas lounge act, not a presidential debate.
But the bile in his little, tiny fingers will gradually build up. He can’t tweet to flush that bile away. The bile will breach the walls of his brain at about the 45 minute mark. He can’t face his “adoring crowds” without a supposed victory dripping with tweenager insults. It was the one thing in the primary he promised to do. That IOU has now come due. It will be his downfall.
Knowing Hillary, she will have Windex and a roll of paper towels at the ready to clean the camera lens after the clamoring yam explodes.
So sit back and let’s watch our gal Hillary wipe the floor with the itty-bitty tiny-fingered au naturale hazmat suit. I’m anxiously awaiting your comments.
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