The Widdershins

Special Post: Debate Night

Posted on: September 26, 2016

Good evening Widdershins.

It’s here.  The night has come.  It’s “THE DEBATE” in all its jittery-goodness.

debate-images

 

For you history buffs, this, to the day, is the 56th anniversary of the first Kennedy/Nixon debate in 1960.  Prior to tonight, it had been the most consequential debate.  Most folks feel the consequences of tonight are far more important.  An orange hemorrhoid of know-nothingness versus the most qualified person to ever run for President.  What could go wrong?

For months people have been navel gazing about tonight.  My navel and I claim no special knowledge, but when has that stopped either of us?  So here is my best guess.

Dumbbell Nebula

Dumbbell Nebula

The traffic cone wearing a kangaroo scrotum is possessed of one thing – an ego slightly larger than the Dumbbell Nebula (it’s an actual thing).

The orange creamsicle made a solemn promise to the hordes of adoring troglodytes who now revel in being called “deplorable”.  That promise:  I will destroy Hillary Clinton in the debates.

No matter how much Chatty Kellyanne has pleaded will stop him from being who and what he is.  The Manhattan Meerkat will not be able to contain himself.  Roger Ailes and Steve Bannon will have filled him with pithy barbs and one-liners.  They will spill out throughout the evening, but filling ninety minutes with that stuff is a bad Las Vegas lounge act, not a presidential debate.

But the bile in his little, tiny fingers will gradually build up.  He can’t tweet to flush that bile away.  The bile will breach the walls of his brain at about the 45 minute mark.  He can’t face his “adoring crowds” without a supposed victory dripping with tweenager insults.  It was the one thing in the primary he promised to do.  That IOU has now come due.  It will be his downfall.

Knowing Hillary, she will have Windex and a roll of paper towels at the ready to clean the camera lens after the clamoring yam explodes.

hillary-and-trump

So sit back and let’s watch our gal Hillary wipe the floor with the itty-bitty tiny-fingered  au naturale hazmat suit.  I’m anxiously awaiting your comments.

 

Advertisements

149 Responses to "Special Post: Debate Night"

Hahaha! Awesome post Prolix!

There is a woman reporter on CNN now saying that the Trump campaign is worried that he’s not prepared to debate Hillary Clinton. She even used the words “He could use a dose of humility.”

WOW!

Wow, Van Jones was really onto something there when he said that it was pretty amazing that Hillary was being criticized and dismissed for being “the Michael Jordan of policy.” He was talking about being a young woman and being discouraged about how working hard and doing your homework wasn’t valued for women. Of course the CNN panel jumped down his throat, but he was 1000% right.

Ready and waiting; Great post Prolix–what a funny coincidence about the debate anniversary.

Loaded and ready here. I’m nervous. Don’t know why because Hillary will be great.

“The media has become a central figure in this campaign,” said the Media.

I’m nervous too.

Heeeeeere we go!

Okay I”ll be honest here: The Saints are on MNF against the dirty birds from the ATL. I’ll probably switch back and forth between the debate and the game. I’ll also count on the profound comments of my Widdershin friends to read after the debate is over.

Funny she’s wearing red and he’s wearing a blue tie!

Hillary intimidated him our of his red tie! Score 1!

Booing Trump is expected contrask.

Trump has a nasty case of RBF.

Trump says too many Trump products are being made in China and Mexico. Oh wait….

Get out the tongs — it’s word salad time.

Trump doom and gloom already

What is Trump even talking about?! It’s just verbal diarrhea.

“Trumped up” trickle-down! She gets in the first zinger.

Hillary is going there — I believe I see a little steam coming out of his ears.

He’s sniffling too – what ailment does he have! Quick!

Oh he’s pissed. And not making any sense at all.

Methinks he’s got a cold. Listen to the sniffles.

He’s rambling not answering the question. Lester?

He didn’t last ten minutes. I’m 35 minutes off.

Trumps not as orange tonight

“We must do a much better job at keeping our jobs to do the job of our jobs keeping,” said the yam.

jobs are leaving jobs are leaving jobs are leaving

Oh he’s already losing it and pushing back and attacking her! He is melting down!

Who would ever give that crazy man the nuclear codes?

“I’ve written a book about it, you can pick It up tomorrow!” Classic 😀

Who in their right mind would vote for that orange popsicle

Oh my gosh what the hell is he even talking about 😀

Told ya Trump wouldn’t know when to shut up

Fighting ISIS her entire adult life? Where in the hell did that come from?

He sounds like Sarah Palin on meth

Lester is doing a shitty job keeping Trump from interrupting. But I say – go for it Trump

Come on, Hillary, keep your cool. Ignore this pig.

Lester…GROW A PAIR AND SHUT HIM UP WHEN ITS HER FING TURN!

Let’s see the media defend this mess. I might have to watch a little after all

Since when did a Secretary of State set tax rates?

How in the world can the media spin this for Trump?

Oh good! Asking for his tax returns.

This is hilarious. I’m sorry, I’m enjoying the spectacle of this f*cktard trying to keep his cool and failing miserably.

Of course he’s not complaining about being audited because they are a convenient excuse.

$650 Million isn’t a lot of money, but I have a licensing deal to use my name on decks of playing cards.

From tax returns to we’ve become a third world country in 30 seconds

The Yam wants to be the President of the World’s Airports.

He does love the totalitarian countries, doesn’t he? Oh, China and Dubai have the greatest airports!!

6 bankruptcies!?!?

This is great so far

She does have him on the ropes. He’s been hysterical a few times now.

He just did a commercial for his new hotel!

Laker says he’s shaking.

He’s shaking and breathing hard. He’s a total mess. She is cool and calm and laughing at him.

Oh yes – Lester actually did something right!

Now Donald is arguing with the moderator!!! He’s losing it.

She’s really done her homework on the criminal justice reform topic…the Mango Monkey just sputters and yells “Law and Order!!!”

There is too much. I can’t even process how much he’s lying,

OMG – he is a moron!

I’ve met some African Americans over the last little while.

Say what?

How are we going to stand another 25 minutes of this?

More wine Annie – it will get you through 🙂

No admission of guilt isn’t exactly innocence.

“I opened a club and so the whole birther thing, whatever!”

Donald Trump has not answered one question in any way that makes sense.

@65, just refilled, Contrask! 🙂

“I was just endorsed by ICE”…. but who has the ICE T endorsement?

What is with his shoulders? He keeps wiggling and looking like a high school student at their first presentation….. HIlliary looks awesome – she is having a blast 🙂

Trump – My ten-year-old son can beat ISIS!

Cyber is one of them. Cyber cyber cyber. He is so bad at sentences.

Donald made a monkey face when she mentioned Putin. She is pulling no punches whatsoever.

Theres his shout out to Bernie (while talking about national security no less)

@71, I’ve also noticed he sniffed a lot in the first half hour. Coke sniff?

How long will it take someone on Fox to mention breathlessly, “She didn’t have a flag pin on. Lash her to the stake and burn her!”

@76, Annie, it’s a Koch sniff.

“If Trump leaves a $100 on HRC’s podium tonight it’s bc he’s used to having to pay women to whip him like this.” – copied from twitter… pure gold

Oh – is he going to sleep now? Thank gawd, his gaping hole will finally be shut.

@HB Elam – that is fantastic. Thanks for being with us tonight.

Between the sniffs and the faces he’s making, Trump is a reincarnation of Al Gore on meth.

@82 — talk about… “an inconvenient truth”

HB is a friend of mine. He’s sitting here with me. I wish he would post more because he’s hilariously funny and wicked smart.

OMG Prolix! Thank you for inviting him!

I’m surprised it took him so long to point and say “her”

Yam: I love me some Sean Hannity. Would someone call Sean Hannity?

Why is Holt letting him waste so much time?

Yam screaming: I have a better temperament!!!!

blue screen? WTH?

Lester Holt just let Trump talk and talk and talk. I think he is rooting for Hillary. The more Trump talks, the worse he sounds. 😀

He’s drinking so much water, wonder what hallucinogens come in liquid form?

Trump: “Take Hannity’s word that I was against the war!!! Don’t believe what you read! Just believe everything I say!”

He has no idea what the current nuclear policy is.

“China should blow up North Korea. Or maybe Iran should. Wait. Where am I? How many Ambien did I take?”

I’m so bored with him now. Lester Holt needs to shut him up.

Trump is so messed up his answers now resembles the salad bar at Golden Corral at midnight.

Bebe Netanyahu better be tweeting, “I am a happy camper.”

@97, that’s it exactly! Laker & hubs think he’s high. High, demented…

Trump: Hillary is ISIS’ mama.

Why can’t Lester ever say NO to Trump. Ugh! Rambling again.

“She doesn’t have the stamina” – wtf dude, she’s flown between Iran, Japan and India in the time it takes you to get out of your golden bathtub, you short fingered vulgarian

Oh, he shouldn’t have gone there. She just destroyed him.

Good. The audience is getting pissed.

Hillary is now wiping the floor with a worn orange mop.

Wow, this whole thing is spiraling out of control.

Lester, quit saying “very quickly” and start saying fUCK NO!

Even Lester is sick of him.

Lester is doing a horrible job reining him in. He talks for 9 minutes and she talks for 30 seconds. Ridiculous.

Oh thank gawd that is over! Hillary did amazingly well.

Lester Holt was a very poor moderator.

Tweety just said it was a home run for Hillary. How things have changed. 😀

@111 – Oh my yes. He just let himself get run over by the Mango Monkey.

Every pundit is saying he lost YUUUUUUGE.

Bloomberg is saying it’s a homerun for Hillary. I love it. So glad it’s over.

@103, Good one!

Ah, so glad its over! As usual, Hillary has deck stacked against her, and as usual, she prevails.

Steve Schmidt: Never has there been a presidential candidate less prepared than what we saw tonight.

Is that Patti Solis Doyle sitting on CNNs panel? Are they gonna ask her about the birther thing?

@ 116 So true, Prolix

Can confirm – Prolix did not have a heart attack tonight. All y’all hoping for his coveted blogging days will have to pray to aqua buddha for at least one more night.

At every zoo in America, the keepers are checking the ape houses to make sure they don’t have an exhibit loose at Hofstra tonight.

The only way someone who could vote for that orange hemorrhoid are those who believe it is more important to be bigoted and intolerant than be afraid of nuclear war.

I think Dr. Bornstein will be out with another report tomorrow on Trump’s “stamina”.

Bloomberg is saying a clear Hillary win. CBS is not – I hate the MSM. Now you know why I changed my major from journalism to English Lit.

HB – we are very VERY fortunate that Prolix is with us.

CBS – come on, that’s ridiculous. No one could see what he did and think he did a good job. I guess he didn’t throw feces at Hillary like the monkey he is, so it’s all good?!

That was fun! I don’t care one iota what the talking heads have to say right now. I’ll give them a few hours to stew. Trump was a babbling idiot and now I’m glad Lestor let him go on at times.

I hope Hillary gets out from under his skin before he goes to bed otherwise “Melaria” might sue for alienation of affection.

CNN is disgusting. I’m not reading it all. Good night – Hillary is awesome!

OMG, MSNBC just brought on Chris Christie. I turned off the teevee. :sick:

Good night contrask and all! I’m out too. Sleep well, Our Girl crushed it!

Oh my, Gov. Krispy Kreme without makeup on high-def looks like his face caught fire and they put it out with an ice pick.

Night MB.

@84: Hey Prolix, ask HB if he wants to do some posts for us. 🙂

I’ve read all the comments so far and I also switched over to the debate during the breaks in the game. I’ll definitely catch a replay of the debate when the game is over.

Now next question: Who so far, has done the best post-debate commenting? I couldn’t believe that PBS and Gwen had David Brooks on. Puhleeze.

@130 Prolix will be away from the keyboard for a bit — he’s getting a mop to clean up the supper that came up due to watching the mating dance of Chris Christie’s turkey neck

Two things happened tonight: Hillary came to a debate and Yam went to the Liars’ Club.

Chatty Kelly said, “Trump showed remarkable restraint.” Obviously, Chatty Kelly isn’t familiar with the word restraint.

Borowitz:

CNN launched an urgent manhunt Monday after Lester Holt, the moderator of the first Presidential debate of the 2016 general election, mysteriously vanished two minutes into the contest.

@137 Nor is she familiar with the idea that showing remarkable restraint in a debate is not actually the compliment she thinks it is.

FOX says it was like Hillary was reading off the teleprompter and Trump was spontaneous. In other words Hill knew what she was talking about and Trump was making it up as he went along. HAHA! Is that all they got?

What color is Hugh Hewitt’s hair- urine-soaked snow?

@140, it’s hard to make a pile of crap look like Mt. McKinley.

Talk about stamina- going on to a debate watch-party to give a speech after an hour and a half debate

Hugh Hewitt is a dead ringer for Fire Marshall Bill.

Fire Marshall Bill

@140 Oh for pete’s sake. Did the idiots @ Fox see a teleprompter? What a lame thing to say.

@145, Annie, in the alternate reality in which the Fox trogs live, there was a teleprompter saying, “Our boss was not a serial sexual offender.”

Prolix, LOL! God, what a night! Looks like everyone is saying she killed it, which is great.

@147, I think it is unanimous — she killed it. Of course, Chatty Kelly drank some of those Yam hallucinogens.

Well folks, it is time to return to regular programming brought to you by Fredster.

It’s been fun everyone. Please come back and visit often. We are a friendly bunch who like the company.

Comments are closed.

Keep Up

Atrocities Documented:

What the F*ck Just Happened?!

Victories Won:

Your Victories Against Drumpf!

Wanna Be A Widdershin?

Send us a sample post at:

widdershinssubmissions at gmail dot com

Our Front-Pagers

I’m ready. Are you?

Blog Archive

September 2016
M T W T F S S
« Aug   Oct »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  

Our 2016 Ticket!

Our girl is gonna shine

Busted: Glass ceiling

HRC bumper sticker

She’s thinking “Less than 2 weeks I have to keep seeing that face”

Yeah I can make it

The team we’re on

Women’s March on Washington!

Right-click the pic for more info

Kellyanne Conway’s new job