The Widdershins

Trump Veepstakes…

Posted on: July 14, 2016

Good evening Widdershins.

Tomorrow morning the Bogey Yam will be announcing his Sancho Panza.  Here are the characteristics that seem most important to der Drumpf – notice that none of them reflect upon the qualifications necessary to lead the free world.

  1. Be obsequious to the point of being bloodied and beaten by an orange meat puppet and asking, “Could I have some more Sir?”
  2. Stare blindly without giggling hysterically when you see a comb over speaking incoherently in a continuous word salad.
  3. Understand word salad and be able to translate into reasonably coherent English.
  4. Own knee pads.
  5. Be able to kiss butt like an Electrolux with a fresh vacuum bag.

Four Veepstakes

Here are the players and a little bit about each of them – some of it true.  Don’t pay attention to the Army guy because he believes in a woman’s right to choose or did for about 12 hours.  As for the possibility of Sen. Joni Ernst being selected, well, think about it, she’s a woman.

Newt Gingrich:  Former Speaker of the House.  Resigned in disgrace under pressure from his own party.  Highest fine for ethical violations in House history.  Other ethical violations too many to enumerate.  Serial adulterer to terminally ill wives.

Chris Christy:  Caustic and bombastic New Jersey governor with historically low approval numbers.  Bridgegate.  Used state money to pay his $82,500 bar and food bill at NFL games in 2010-11.  Other ethical violations too many to enumerate.

Jeff Sessions:  Translucent white Senator from Alabama.  Second judicial nominee in 48 years of Judicial Committee history whose nomination was killed for, among other things, saying he thought the KKK was, “Okay until I found out they smoked pot.”  Rumored to have a tattoo that says, “High walls and short ladders make good immigration policy.”

Mike Pence:  Translucent white Governor of Indiana.  Former House member.  Chronically dim, but incandescently ambitious.  According to D.C. lore, the most dangerous place to be in D.C. was between Pence and a microphone.  Entire career could be entitled, the “Bland Ambition Tour”.  Signed the “You Are Free to Discriminate Against Gays” Bill and caught nine kinds of hell for it.  Twitter Account handle #hoosierdaddy.


There you have it.

People believe Trump could pull a Veep out from under the kangaroo scrotum he calls hair in order to fool the press.  A serious candidate wouldn’t contemplate such a thing, but who knows what madness lurks in the ego that was a stunt double for the Indominus Rex in Jurassic World.  If Trump does pull a Houdini, here’s my best guess for the Trump fungible Veep. Notice the resemblance to the aforementioned candidates.

Ham Head

Whoever is ejaculated from that big, pink, stone phallus known as Trump Tower tomorrow morning at 11:00 a.m. EDT will likely wish there was such a thing as a morning after campaign pill. So will we.

What’s on your mind?




99 Responses to "Trump Veepstakes…"

It appears it’s going to be Pence but let’s face it: you never know with the walling/talking yam. He could make an “executive decision” tomorrow morning and completely flip from that choice.

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions…my, my. If he would just put on a few pounds here he would be:

Trump has announced he is “postponing” his VP announcement because of the truck attack in Nice, France.

Reports are at least 75 people are dead and 50 injured in the attack.

Trump has postponed his announcement because of the tragic events in Nice, France. He actually said on Fox that he still might change his mind as to his selection. I have a hard time understanding why constant waffling is a characteristic one would want in a President, but if indecision is what we are looking for, der Drumpf seems to have it handled.

@3, Beata we must have been typing at the same time.

@2, I don’t remember the judiciary confirmation hearings for Sessions, but evidently there was an entire procession of people who testified as to his racial intolerance. That’s too nice. His bigotry and prejudice.

From the Wiki piece on Sessions, when you make this statement is there really anything else to add?

I may have said something about the NAACP being un-American or Communist, but I meant no harm by it.

(Hitting head on table)

@7, that about sums it up.

@8: And it would be a wonderful thing if Drump picked him because stuff like that would be on the teevee for days.

Seriously, how do you defend a statement like that?

I predict Trump picks Christie. It’s the Trump kids who want Pence.

Then poor Pence will soon be unemployed, having dropped out of the Indiana governor’s race. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.

@9, how do you defend against telling a colleague to “be careful what you say to white folks.”

@10, Jared Kushner, Ivanka’s hubby, is against Christy in a pretty big way. Jared has a bone to pick with Christie because he prosecuted his dad and put him in prison. It was a political stepping stone prosecution for Christie. That is something that leaves a mark.

@11: Yeah, good point.

@10: The good thing about Christie is he takes instructions and orders very well.

Here’s John Gregg, the Democrat who is running for Indiana governor. A Wilford Brimley look-alike, Gregg is just a “regular guy”. He’s already lost the governor’s race at least twice before. I’ve lost count. Yeah, this is what we’re stuck with in Hoosierland.

@14: But can Christie’s wife be trusted not to roll her eyes when Drumpf starts ranting? She seems to have a mind of her own. That’s dangerous.

@15: I’m being too hard on Gregg. At least he is fighting for the right things.

@16: You just keep her home and off the campaign trail.

@15, that’s a good ad, don’t know if it’s going to win an election, but he seems comfortable and pleasant.

@17: You know Beata, some of us in our un-blue states have to take what we’re offered.

@16 & 18, remember in 2012 when Christie’s speech was supposed to talk up Romney and what he did was just talk about himself — spent like the first 20-30 minutes about himself. Well, today when I saw Christie give the long sit down interview with Nicole Wallace, resident Republican Fox bait on MSNBC, I think Christie knew he was out of it. How else was he going to make it about himself other than on the last day, at the last hour, just happen to give a long Oprahesque interview? He knew the window was closed or closing fast and he had to make it about him.

@19: Yes, that’s probably the best ad he’s done. He tends to take the folksy persona too far in most of them.

@15 Beata, I love John Greggs’ moustache logo on his campaign ad. Very creative and memorable.

@20: Fredster, I know. We’ve discussed that before. I just get really tired of it sometimes.

@24: I know. Wasn’t intending to beat the dead horse there.

I typed the following just now from a CNN article about Sean Hannity providing a private jet for Grinch to fly to Indy to meet Trump. When
I went back to copy the URL to post, the article was gone – disappeared. Gone from memorandum and nowhere to be found on CNN’s website:

At least Hannity admits that he’s biased. (By the way, Fox “news” is paying this guy way too much if he owns a private jet.)

“I’m not a journalist, I’m a talk show host,” he has said. “The media has accused me of going soft in interviews on Republicans,” he said on his radio show earlier this year. “I plead guilty. I absolutely plead guilty. You know why? Because I want one of them to win.”

Check out this brilliant billboard. I don’t know how to post just the image.

@26, GAgal, I just put the URL into the post. As Uppity says, “Fixit Fairy has been by.”

@26, while we are at it, talking about the double standards between Repubs and Dems, let’s for a moment consider the 9 kinds of hell raised at Notorious RBG over her comments about der Drumpf. Putting the substantive part of her comments aside, was there one-tenth the outrage and outcry when:

1. The times Fat Tony waddled over to meet with the Tea Party and Freedom Caucus;

2. Fat Tony sat with the Fox buffoons at the Correspondents’ Dinner;

3. Fat Tony and Alito made political arguments straight off Fox during oral arguments before the court. Taking political arguments and inserting them into the argument and opinions; and

4. Silent Clarence Thomas finding it within himself to go on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show.

Don’t remember any of those events causing this firestorm. Hypocrisy much?

Okay, this is really going just a tad too far.

@25: Discussing it is fine. What I meant was I get tired of being in the situation we in red states continually find ourselves. Our Democrats would be running as Republicans in blue states. They are that conservative. It’s difficult to get enthusiastic about them.

If Mitch Daniels gets into the race, Gregg probably doesn’t have a chance of winning anyway.

Prolix asked Don’t remember any of those events causing this firestorm. Hypocrisy much?

Hypocrisy a lot!

@32: That’s very true.

@31, I went grocery shopping this afternoon. It’s a good size Kroger’s — not a super store, but a good sized market with a deli, home section, and a pharmacy. I saw no less than eight or nine kids playing that game in a not so big store. One kid actually walked smack dab right into me.

@15, oh how funny!

@36, Annie, how was your trip?

@35: Yes, Krogering can be scary.

@35: Too bad you couldn’t have tripped the kid and then run over him several times with the grocery cart. 😈

@38, I prefer my Krogering to be a non-contact sport.

@39: Try that at a Walmart on a Friday night.

I hope everyone got their fill of the Donald & Ted makeout session because it’s about to disappear.

A rundown of the speakers at the Repub National Convention. This is truly a Trumpster fire:

No fewer than four Trump children, including Tiffany Trump, daughter of Marla Maples and the Zeppo of the Trump brood.

NFL washout Tim Tebow, world #484-ranked golfer Natalie Gulbis, and Ultimate Fighting Championship chief Dana White.

Tech lottery winner Peter Thiel, famous for trying to sue news organizations out of business and create offshore havens where billionaire libertarians could live outside the reach of taxes and laws.

The rabbi who converted Ivanka Trump to Judaism.

Rudy Giuliani, there to explain why black kids are a bunch of criminals who need the educational benefits that only a fusillade of bullets from police officers’ guns can provide; a sheriff known for his criticism of Black Lives Matter is also on the bill.

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi, whom you might have heard of because she announced an investigation of Trump University, then four days later solicited and received an (apparently illegal) $25,000 contribution from Trump’s family foundation, then promptly dropped the investigation.

A man whose son was killed by an undocumented immigrant during the Bush Administration.

A guy who owns a casino.

The guy who runs Trump’s winery.

Antonio Sabato, Jr., I guess because why the hell not. One of his dimples will boycott the convention.

Well guess what: the first night of the convention will revolve around Benghazi, and at some point there will be some kind of “presentation” about Bill Clinton’s sexual indiscretions.

at some point there will be some kind of “presentation” about Bill Clinton’s sexual indiscretions

Is someone going to do a presentation of Trump’s sexual indiscretions?

I wonder if Huckabuck will be there pickin’ and grinnin’ ?

Oh dear….someone. Rude Pundit has his take on the Repub Convention schedule of speakers and circus acts.

Trey Crowder, the Liberal Redneck that Prolix introduced us to has a new video up. I’m not going to embed it here because it does have a few F-bombs dropped in there. However, you can go here to watch it. It involves the Commonwealth’s new tourist attraction, a $100 million replica of Noah’s Ark.

@42, omg! Sounds horrifically bad!

We are still on our trip. Going home on Saturday.

@46: Oh but annie, we here at T.W. and other likeminded sites are so going to enjoy poking fun at the entire thing.

More good news for our gal: The Communications Workers of America (C.W.A.) has endorsed Hillary.

@45, well Trey was right. In response to the advisory of not taking “educational field trips” to the Ark Park, the good dog fearing Ark Park folks have reduced admission for school chilluns. Now an impressionable young student will only have to pay these folks $1.00 to hear the fairy tales they are promoting with stuffed animals and a petting zoo. Go figure.

@49: Damn! Too clever by half.

Well, my damn internet has been out for the last 6 hours. I decided to take a break from politics and news for a few days and just when I try to catch up, it’s out again. I’ve been binge watching “Suits” on Amazon this week and it kept dropping my service all week. This time, I decided to call.

The automated voice (finally) told me my wait would be “greater than 10 minutes”. I put it on speakerphone and went about my business. One hour and ten minutes later, a polite young man named Eric picked up with “Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with tonight?” As if. Still, I didn’t take it out (too bad) on the guy who is just trying to make a living. I knew it had to be a widespread outage and it was futile to hold that long, but by golly, I was determined to wait.

He said we would be credited on our bill for the down time, but I’m not gonna hold my breath on that. Now, I’ve got to catch up on what I missed here. So irritating to have such crappy service.

@51: Oh I sympathize with you GAgal. And although the credit on your bill is nice it doesn’t make up for not having the service when you wanted to use it.

@52 Fredster, the thing is – there will be no credit. Years ago, I had dial up internet because I lived in the booniest of the boonies. I could literally get in my car and drive 10 miles to the library to use their computers to pay a bill (it took three minutes) and drive back home faster than their service. I called to cancel my service because it was a waste of money and she said to me “Okay we will cancel at the end of the month because that’s our policy”. I said, “Well, MY policy is – I don’t pay for service that I don’t have. So go ahead and send your bill and I will cut it in half and make my payment”. That’s what I did and I never heard another word about it.

@42 from Prolix’ link. I love this:

Meanwhile, outside the convention hall, a group called Bikers for Trump is coming en masse to start cracking skulls if they see any nogoodniks stirring up trouble. “We’re anticipating a victory dance, but it sounds like there’s a lot of agitators and a lot of troublemakers coming to town,” the group’s leader told CNN. “You can definitely count on the Bikers for Trump standing with the police department in the event they need it.”

I’m sure the cops are glad to hear it, because if there’s one thing that will keep everything calm and civil, it’s a bunch of gun-toting Trump-supporting bikers ready to throw down.

With Pence’s selection, we can kiss Newt’s moon base goodbye. Just like his first two wives said, “Better luck next time Newt!”

Oy, Bikers for Trump as vigilante police. Bet Trump loves that.

Isn’t Pence’s statement that he’s, “very excited, very humbled and very grateful,” the same quote given to the astronauts’ wives by NASA in “Apollo 13”? In any event, I know that is the statement given to newly crowned Miss Universes.

Tweet issued from Donald J. Trump on the Turkish Military Coup:

Thanksgiving will never be great again.

@57: Probably a stock answer that Trump’s folks give to any “winner”. LOL

@56: Luna, I don’t even want to attempt to conjure up an image of that.

Nothing like being totally sure of your decisions.


@58: When informed of the coup, the talking Yam immediately wanted to know if an argument over the white meat or dark meat is what lead to the coup. o_O

@61, can you believe that?!? The guy is giving up a governorship and Trump wanted to back out. You’d think when you made a decision about who is capable of taking over as the leader of the free world, you might want to make sure it was a “final answer”.

@62, LOL — don’t you know Paul Manafort is crapping antique bricks tonight knowing that foreign relations is going to be a part of tomorrow’s press conference. Trump knows nothing and so far has demonstrated no inclination to learn. He’s watching Fox tonight to figure out how he feels about Turkey and terrorism.

@63: So much for the answer to that question about the 3:00 a.m. phone call.

@64: Wonder if some enterprising reporter will ask how a military coup in Turkey will affect their presence in the N.A.T.O. alliance? That might yield an interesting answer.

In case anyone noticed, I’ve been futzing around with items on the blog.

CNN says the coup is over (?) Guess they settled the disagreement over the drumsticks.

Thank you for that @ 70, Fredster. I shared the article with a Trump supporter who is sure the attacker must by Islamic and radicalized since his name was Mohammed.

@70, Now we know why Trump picked that retired general to be his advisor.

@70, that’s the same Gen. Flynn who was pro-choice and then pro-life, all within 12 hours this week.

@73, The firm, decisive military mind at work. Ayup.

@71: No problem at all and welcome contrask! Feel free to visit with us for awhile. 🙂

@73 and 74:

“I like the generals. I like the concept of the generals. We’re thinking about — actually there are two of them that are under consideration,” Trump said

Ah, I see. It’s just a marketing concept.

Sorry if this is too graphic, but I couldn’t resist:

@77: LOL! I think Planned Parenthood has one too. If I find it I’ll share it here.

@78, Samantha Bee has one at Full Frontal that is better, but I didn’t know how to get it to copy over.

Lawdy, lawdy, can this circus get much worse even before it opens?

Ivanka’s rabbi bows out of the convention. He thought he was only doing an invocation and now they had him headlining.

Earlier on Friday, the Jerusalem Post reported that 600 Ramaz alumni had written Lookstein a letter, condemning his decision to speak at the convention. “This is the single action history will remember you by, and history will not be kind,” it read.

Then, there’s this one. Apparently it really is going to be a Vegas spectacle.

Prolix, got a link for that with Samantha Bee?

From Planned Parenthood.

@81, check your email.

@80, you mean Trump wouldn’t pay enough to get Sarah Palin to come to the convention? Tebow has bowed out. I saw where that Tea Bagging D’bag Sean Duffy isn’t passing — there’s a microphone and a camera — he’s there.

With the Trump kids being the main speakers, this is like a living diorama that is the equivalent of putting art projects on the refrigerator.

@84: La Palin may have wanted too much besides just airfare, a hotel room, and vittles for speechifying.

From Samantha Bee’s twitter page.


It seems that Chris Christie threw a hissy fit after the announcement of Trump”s veep choice.

@86, excellent!

@88: It’s funny as hell and isn’t it amazing that the “great businessman (?) doesn’t have anyone around who could look at that graphic and say “whoa – wait a minute”.

Just watched the Bogey Yam’s introduction of Mike Pensive for the Bland Ambition Tour. Yawn. The Yam was blithering word salad. Pensive gave a full-throated endorsement of Sharia-lite theocracy with him as chief thumper and cross-polisher.

Something to watch — Pence has beady eyes. I’m not talking small, I’m talking beady, squinty, deep inset, dead eyes. Those are the eyes of a serial killer — right out of Capote’s “In Cold Blood”.

The Yam blabbered for almost 30 minutes, 28 minutes of which were lies and fabrications, and Pence got about 12 minutes to give the Yam a happy ending for the ego massage.

The Yam also blabbered on about the prohibition of political activities of 501(c)(3) organizations called the Johnson Amendment. He is trying to entice the thumpers, but what the Johnson Amendment was and is about is prejudicial racial bias and political meddling. In essence, it is about non-establishment of a state religion.

“I’m sure the cops are glad to hear it, because if there’s one thing that will keep everything calm and civil, it’s a bunch of gun-toting Trump-supporting bikers ready to throw down.”

Great Altamont comes to Cleveland.

I fell asleep during Trump’s word salad today. I tried to stay awake by counting the number of times The Donald said “horrible”. He may have even used the word to describe his VP pick, I can’t remember. Anyway, I was asleep before Pence got his few minutes of air time. I had a lovely little nap. I dreamed of daisies.

I see a child from “Village of the Damned” in a man’s body whenever I look at Pence. He’s very creepy.

Hello Widdershins. There will be a weekend post today. I’ll have it up here shortly.

Did the Dumpsterfire really play “You can’t get no satisfaction” while not-introducing Pence? Or is that another satire I can no longer distinguish from reality?

@94: No, it was “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”. Trump has used that song many times during his campaign. You figure it out. I’ve stopped trying.

@95: Maybe Mr. Jimmy knows the answer. The last time he was seen down at the Chelsea drugstore, he looked pretty ill.

This is a good article from Vox on the announcement. Here’s the introductory paragraph:

I do not know how to explain what I just watched.

It should be easy. Donald Trump introduced Indiana Governor Mike Pence as his running mate. There it is. One sentence. Eleven words. But that doesn’t explain what happened any better than “I spent a few hours letting lysergic acid diethylamide mimic serotonin in my brain” explains an acid trip. What just happened was weird, and it was important.

Back in May, EJ Dionne wrote that the hardest thing about covering Donald Trump would be “staying shocked.” Watching him, day after day, week after week, month after month, the temptation would be to normalize his behavior, “to move Trump into the political mainstream.

I exaggerated, Trump didn’t spend 30 minutes talking about himself. He spent 28 minutes. I regret the error.

This is one of the best lines:

Even when he did mention Pence, he often managed to say exactly the wrong thing. “One of the big reasons I chose Mike is party unity, I have to be honest,” Trump admitted.

It just occurred to me why Trump picked Pence. Every 4 years, because of the close of the polls, there’s a race between KY and IN on which one reports first. Perhaps Trump thought the first state to report declares the winner of the presidency. By picking Pence, Trump thinks if IN reports first, he wins. I’m sure Trump read that in the 12th Article of the Constitution.


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