The Widdershins

Amerexit of 1776…

Posted on: July 3, 2016

It all started about 175 million years ago with the gradual breakup of Pangaea.  That was a breakup without a vote unlike our British friends last week with Brexit.  So to celebrate our 1776 Amerexit, I thought we might celebrate all things British. waving union jack

Why you ask?

My British friends always criticize (or criticise for the British spelling) Americans for our tendency to make everything about ourselves — such as the exceptionalism I can never explain.

In any event, instead of focusing on ourselves, given the horrible next couple of years the U.K. is going to experience, I’ve put together some weird British news and some British music.  Your musical contributions are encouraged because there is so much from which to choose.  Enjoy.

Happy 4th of July and Amerexit of 1776

Here’s some British news of the weird.

The Bunyadi restaurant opened in London in June for a three-month run as the world’s newest nude-dining experience, and now has a reservation waiting list of 40,000 (since it only seats 42). Besides the nakedness, the Bunyadi creates “true liberation” by serving only food “from nature,” cooked over fire (no electricity). Waiters are nude, as well, except for minimal concessions to seated diners addressing standing servers. Tokyo’s Amrita nude eatery, opening in July, is a bit more playful, with best-body male waiters and an optional floor show — and no “overweight” patrons allowed. Both restaurants provide some sort of derriere-cover for sitting, and require diners to check their cellphones at the door.

 

Least Competent Criminal: Damian Shaw, 43, was sentenced in England’s Chester Crown Court in June after an April raid revealed he had established a “sophisticated” cannabis-growing operation (160 plants) in a building about 50 yards from the front door of the Cheshire Police headquarters.

 

A March fitness club ad pitch in Sawley, England, pictured an extraterrestrial with the caption, “And when they arrive, they’ll take the fat ones first!” The ad was denounced by an anti-bullying organization as “offensive.”

 

Life is good now for British men who “identify” as dogs and puppies, as evidenced by a BBC documentary (“Secret Life of the Human Pups”) showing men in body outfits (one a Lycra-suited Dalmatian, “Spot”), exhibiting “sexual” expressions (stomach-rubbing, ear-tickling and nuzzling their “handlers”), eating out of bowls, gnawing on chew toys, wearing collars (so as not to be a “stray”), and jumping in the air for “treats.” However, decency demands that a Pup must only feign urinating against a lamppost.

 

England does not have no-fault divorce and still requires couples prove adultery, abandonment or “unreasonable behavior,” which leads to strange claims. For instance, one divorcing woman’s petition blamed her husband’s insistence that she speak only in Klingon. Other examples of “unreasonable” behavior (gathered by the Times of London): a husband’s objecting to the “malicious” preparation of his hated tuna casserole, another’s 15-year silence (except for writing him Post-It Notes), a husband’s distorting the fit of his wife’s outfits by frequently wearing them, and one’s insistence that a pet tarantula reside in a glass case beside the marital bed.

 

Here are a few songs starting from the great British invasion and moving forward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And just for added measure:

 

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48 Responses to "Amerexit of 1776…"

Before the music begins, I have to share this story. It is true. I swear on the Book of Widdershins it’s true.

On Friday, there was a white bread, corn fed, young American reporter updating the facts about the Turkish airport attack. This young man looked as if he had just gotten his first pair of long pants.

He was explaining that a really bad, bad, nasty piece of work named, Akhmed Chatayev, was responsible for planning the attack. It seems that Akhmed, before escaping, was being held in a Soviet prison where he lost his arm to gangrene.

This unfortunate event led Mr. Chatayev to being known by the descriptive nom de guerre of “Akhmed One-Arm”.

Subsequently, Akhmed One-Arm was captured and imprisoned in Sweden. Akhmed One-Arm was in prison in Sweden for, wait for it, wait for it, arms trading.

The reporter obviously didn’t find this nearly as funny as I do because he didn’t even crack a smile.

All true.

Carry on.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2016/06/30/one-armed-isis-commander-eyed-as-mastermind-istanbul-massacre.html

a husband’s distorting the fit of his wife’s outfits by frequently wearing them

So typically British there.

@1: So I wonder if Akmed One arm is related to Achmed the Terrorist?

Can’t be the same person because Achmed has both arms, uh bones.

Some more Hermits.

One of my fave groups.

@3, believe me I was sensitive to telling that story, but it is too good of a story to pass up. That is right out of SNL.

@5, geez, I never realized how young Herman Hermits were. I always thought they were in their 30s. They look like middle schoolers.

@8: Oh I wouldn’t be that concerned about it. It was Akhmed’s unfortunate luck to end up in a Soviet prison.

We have equally talked about Americans who do dumb things with unpleasant repercussions, like this:

http://mashable.com/2015/10/26/man-kills-zombie-walking-dead/#LcANqD8dZsqR

Sometimes you just need to keep your hands to yourself.

@12, from the story:

While he has some theories about what the attack was all about, Robert Imbody said he would keep them to himself for now as police investigate.

I have some theories as well.

@11, GAGal, Peter Frampton is still touring. I had no idea.

Bernie Who? has an article on Phillydotcom today titled “Party platform needs more work”. Didn’t read it.

GAgal said: Didn’t read it.

Best thing you could do.

Jethro Tull – Bourée

@17 & 18, in the movie “Armageddon,” during the psych eval before they let them go into space, the psychiatrist asked the question, “What really annoys you?”

Owen Wilson’s goofy character said, “What really annoys me are people who believe Jethro Tull is just one guy.”

Prolix, from your comment in the last post about Xavier Berreca. I saw that clip too and he was fantastic. She was talking about the YouTube/Benghazi crap again and he turned it around to, “It’s so disparaging to criticize our military assets that were there – on the ground – trying to figure out what happened in the middle of such chaos” Then she tried it again (I think she was shocked by his answer) and he came back at her with it again. He was also very good about emailgate. VP material there.

Not a British band but relating to #Regrexit. (This is from a Midnight Special show not a live concert)

@20, I thought he was excellent. He should be giving a tutorial to all these surrogates. His ability to shift it on her, legitimately, to blaming the military was masterful. When you strip away all the fluff from what Howdy Gowdy was saying desperately trying to deflect the wasted $7.0 million, what he was doing was blaming the military. Obama and Panetta ordered the the troops to go, even though it would not have made a difference.

Becerra was masterful — he’s had some good committee assignments on high profile issues. I worry about him being ready to be CinC, but that’s going to be a problem with just about anyone other than Hillary.

Prolix said: “What really annoys me are people who believe Jethro Tull is just one guy.”

Rrroooolontfl!!!

@23, I went fishing and found the clip:

If you’re gonna talk about the movie Armageddon, then I’m gonna have to post Liz Tyler’s Dad.

I meant Liv, of course. It’s been a typo day for me today.

@19, hahaha!

@20, yay Xavier!

@21, ah, I loved the Midnight Special when I was young! So many great shows.

Fredster, we like the Moody Blues also and we’ve seen them a few times. They are still really great in concert and Justin can still sing. He did a solo show near us and guess who was hanging out with him? Peter Noone from Herman’s Hermits!

Yes Frampton still tours. We saw him at NAMM a few years ago and he doesn’t have that blonde hair anymore, almost bald. He was very nice to all the fans.

Here’s one of favorite Brits in an interesting old concert:

I wished my British colleague (living in America) a Happy Fourth of July and he said, “Happy 4th. Bah.” They still haven’t gotten over Amerexit of 1776.

Those stories are priceless, Prolix. I will never understand people who want to eat naked in front of other people. I think they assume they will see a bunch of supermodels, when in fact they’re more likely to see middle-aged men and women with cellulite and saggy muscles. 😀

Just like a particularly lazy arsonist, Nigel Farage, torch wielding Brexiter, resigns this morning. The fire is raging, the world economy is damaged, and my work here is done as Farage embarks on an expedition to end unnecessary cuteness by clubbing baby seals.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/british-politician-nigel-farage-resigns-as-leader-of-right-wing-ukip-in-wake-of-eu-vote/2016/07/04/ec22a450-ff1d-4fe3-b513-29f6015298be_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-more-top-stories_germany-820pm:homepage/story&wpisrc=al_alert-national

@30, ugh! Nude restaurants! Utterly gross!

@31 – Yup, he’s like Trump all right. “I want my life back.” Never a thought for the millions of lives he’s screwed up with his lies about Brexit. That will be Trump’s line when he loses massively – either the nomination, or the election.

I see that Chris Suhleeze has written another of his hatchet pieces on the Clintons. Seeing him on tv the other day, the guy looks slimier than ever. Some things don’t change I guess.

It’s amazing how, whenever the pundits want to pile on Hillary, she is able to handle it and keep on without even blinking.

@34, Chris Suhleeze is like all the pundits — have an overreaching theme — “the Clintons always will screw things up for themselves and get in their own way” — then have to fill a recurring column by telling everyone that their original theme was correct. Hint: Editors like to read about their writers writing about how smart they are.

Of course today Trump has again snagged defeat from the jaws of a good news cycle by finding his tweet meat in the racist alt-right subbasement of moral and ethical depravity. Way to go Donald — take the attention away from the FBI tea and Tarmacgate. Got to appreciate how he always seems to do this. Hint: Perhaps Chris Suhleeze could get a couple of columns out of it.

@36: I think Suhleezze has made his career at WaPo just writing about Hillary or Bill or both.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/05/AR2009080502394.html

Hell, when you type in “Chris Cillizza and” in the google search bar, it automatically adds “Hillary Clinton”, which leads me to believe that Suhleezze needs to get his “Fix” with something else.

I hope you guys are having a nice Fourth. I’m taking a little break. Its only 4pm here, have guests coming in a couple of hours.

@38, Annie, hope y’all have a nice evening. Tell Hubby and Laker happy 4th too.

Annie, hope the heat is tolerable out there.

Chris is like some strange Hillary stalker. He has this creepy hatred and obsession with her part sexism and part something else.

@41: Yes you’re right. When you do the google search with him & Hillary, the number of returned search results is astounding. She is a cottage industry for him.

@42, once someone catches on to him and his strained 5th grade writing style, he can always do commercials. I hear they are looking for a stunt double for Capt. Obvious.

@43: LOL! Perhaps he and Chris Hayes can get a gig together. 😉

An Independence Day message from John Oliver:

Well, well, well. Perhaps Tim Tebow will find someone now.

@46, LOL.

@47: I guess you saw how the cash settlements worked out?

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