The Widdershins

Slippery slopes…

Posted on: June 17, 2016

cartoon slippery slope

You can always count on some things.  Things like the swallows returning to Capistrano.  Monarch butterflies wintering in Mexico.  And every reelection, John McCain going berserk as an outhouse rat.  Just like in 2010 when he whiplashed to the right of Attila the Hun, this year it looks like he has found his inner Trumpinator.

McCain must convince more Arizona white people, who happen to adore L’Orange One, to come out and vote.  So yesterday in an effort to incite some whiteys, McCain blamed the Orlando butchery on Obama.  His logic was something along the lines of “scary black man created ISIL by his bad decisions that I wouldn’t have made because I would have started better wars or continued the old ones.”  Or something like that.

Shortly after McCain got back to his office here on planet Earth and took his afternoon Aricept, his office released a statement saying, “Oopsie, Daddy got loose again.”

Mortimer SnerdIf that wasn’t enough, yesterday Ted Cruz, you remember him, the Mortimer Snerd look-alike, was positively orgasmic over the events of Orlando.  Cruz sees the Pulse massacre as an opportunity for his brand of conservative prismatic realism.  Taking reality and distorting it as a colorful mirage to fit his warped conservative sensibilities.  His solution to Orlando:  More guns.

Cruz was exhibiting profound butt hurt because he didn’t like someone else conducting a filibuster – especially a filibuster producing results unlike his “Green Eggs and Ham” soliloquy. Of course, Cruz was still giddy from Tuesday night.

In case you haven’t heard, Tuesday night there was a dinner that morphed into a big conservodroid circlejerk – not the kind requiring drop cloths and disinfectant, but the metaphysical type where everyone twaddled on about how great Teddy Cruz is.  Comparisons to Reagan were abundant.  The cabal’s game plan is to figure out how Cruz becomes the biggest, baddest Conservative in all the land.  Good luck to them with that.Ted Cruz gun

During Cruz’s Senate speech for more guns, more guns, more guns, he talked about “slippery slopes.”  In the world of the NRA and the politicians they have dutifully paid for, every proposed gun safety proposal is an impermissible constitutional impediment.  It seems to be lost on these people that this phantasmagorical constitutional right of which they so fondly speak was only discovered in 2008.  Yeah, eight years ago courtesy of the contortionist intellectual rummaging of dead, fat Tony after a century of constitutional case law saying no such right existed.

Both McCain and Cruz focused upon the favorite Republican hobgoblin:  slippery slopes.  Conveniently, they always ignore the kinds of slippery slopes they don’t mind seeing like cutting the number of women’s health clinics, or reducing SNAP benefits, or reducing access to voting, or reducing civil rights protections.  Those types of slippery slopes tighten the crotches of crusty old Republicans faster than Cialis in their Citrucel.

NRA cartoonThe slippery slopes causing the consternation du jour are the “no fly, no buy” legislation and universal background checks.  Republicans ignore the fact that 95% of Democrats, 86% of Independents, and 87% of Republicans support universal background checks.  It appears the NRA hasn’t just rented this current crop of Republicans, they have bought them outright.

Here’s a slippery slope they won’t talk about.  Some industrious reporters, surprising but they still do exist, timed how long it actually takes to buy an AR-15 rifle.  With a full background check, it took between 5 and 7 minutes.  Let’s put this in perspective:  You can walk into a Wal-Mart and within 7 minutes your government has said, “You may now own a killing instrument suitable for war or if you’d rather, an assault on the nearest gathering of people you hate.”

Pray for Orlando

Seven minutes started a slippery slope of empowering the death of 49 souls in Orlando.  The United States government approved the purchase of an instrument of death capable of this mass carnage in just seven minutes.  And it never seems to matter to these NRA bastards, not even for seven minutes that this slope is made slippery by the blood of innocents.

Take the conversation in any direction you might like.

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24 Responses to "Slippery slopes…"

I can’t wait to see McMaverick McCain get his crusty old *rse beat by a girl. Mwhahaha!

Actually, two girls – because it’s Hillary’s coattails that will turn Arizona blue. Well, that, and the fact that Arizona is becoming more and more Hispanic.

@1, Amen to each word of all of that. The McMavericky sell-by date is a bit moldy.

Not to be sexist, but instead of coattails, can we come up with something with a bit more flare to honor Hillary? Is it sexist to say, “Hillary’s Armani Tunic Tails?”

To use a “Rushism”, ditto to both comments.

The Rude Pundit had an excellent post yesterday about a time way back when, in the oh-so-distant sixties, the Congress took a look at honest-to-God gun control legislation. Hell, even the Republicans were aboard. o_O

From that article on the Cruz meeting:

Many of the leaders at the dinner want Cruz to run for president again, and they are viewing Cruz’s unsuccessful 2016 run as similar to Reagan’s failed attempt in 1976 to unseat the incumbent Republican president, Gerald Ford.

Oh please do! After Hillary’s first term there would be no better opponent than that pus-filled bag of wind.

@5, it will be another cattle call — Rubio if he wins another Senate term, Sasse is going to run, Tom Cotton will be running to start another war, if Huckabuck hasn’t run off with Kim Davis he’s liable to show up, Ben Carson will be rested from his naps, Gingrich will have a new wife by then, and who knows who else. Given that Trump won this one, perhaps Mel Gibson or Sean Hannity will win in 2020.

@5 & 6, and I forgot Ayn Rand in drag, Paul Ryan, and Rand Paul in drag, Rand Paul.

@6 & 7: LOL! 😆

Spectacular post Prolix! Also, all of the comments–hysterically funny! You people are all on top of your game. Great start to the weekend.

@6: I hope to hell the FL voters have more sense than to send Rubio back. How many times did he say he disliked being in the Senate and that it moved too slow for him.

@3, Fredster, I for one am not letting Lush Rumball own the word ditto. Dittohead, yes, that is his and his hideous fans, and I will always consider it a slur. But “ditto” is okay, and a very useful word. 🙂

I liked the Slate article also. Good info to know.

@11: annie, sadly when I think of the word ditto, dittohead comes to my mind. 😦

@13, Fredster, no! We can’t let the Lushians win! 😉

This is actually running on cable in the DC area:

Dang, I forgot it was Friday and was downstairs babbling to myself. Did y’all see the grandma google story? It reminds of the time my sister’s Siri thought she called it a moron. It came back with ‘V, please such language!’

http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/16/europe/grandmother-google-viral/

Great post, Prolix.
Last night, after seeing unctuous Ted’s rebuttal of Senator Murphy’s filibuster, I thought “well, thank God for Donald Trump.”

@16, thats adorable.

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I’ll always be grateful to Trump for getting Cruz out of the picture.
If I had to listen to Trump’s televangelist style bleating for four years, no way I’d wait patiently for the Grim Reaper to relieve me.

@19, Sue, and I would sit dutifully beside you. I couldn’t agree more about Cruz — I would have set my hair ablaze before listening to his harangue for six months. Trump’s non-fluent aphasia seems to be getting worse. By the election he might be down to just verbs, forget the nouns.

@15 – OMG!! That is brilliant. You have to read the “About Us” page from trumphastinyhands.com. I feel like Prolix had to have written some of the copy.

https://www.donaldtrumphastinyhands.com/about-us/

My son always hated Cruz more than Trump, from the beginning of the rethug primary.

socal, I think Cruz was always the biggest threat.

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