The Widdershins

Wallpaper and Fever Dreams, Part Deux…

Posted on: January 20, 2016

Or in the world of Donald Trump, Part Second.Marriage Boot Camp

In our little corner of the internet, we were a full forty-eight hours ahead of the news curve talking about the covalent bonding of politics and reality teevee.  From the article:  “It’s so easy these days to go out there and become an Internet conservative celebrity by saying some things, and who cares if it’s true or makes any sense. And there’s no incentive to ever really bother with reality or to compromise.  There’s no money, ratings or clicks in everyone going along to get along.”

So in the spirit of Jeannie living in a magic bottle on Capt. Nelson’s coffee table, Laura Petrie contorting her face and crying, “Oh, Rob,” or even Samantha finding the right Dick to play her husband Darrin, (York not Sargent) yesterday we saw the merger of two reality brands in a real life Marriage Boot Camp:  Reality Stars.  If only “Malaria” and former Alaskan first Dude weren’t in the way of the inevitable synergy.

I'm with stupidHad Sarah and Donald met on Match.com or eHarmony there would have been undeniable compatibility in the:

(1) Ability to free associate without the use of commas, periods, or pauses;

(2) Hate for a certain darker-skinned occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue;

(3) Deep and abiding love of self;

(4) Traffic stopping self-gratification requiring only a mirror; and

(5) Absolute, total, world-class cluelessness.

 

It is indeed a rare event in which the post just writes itself and today is one of those extraordinary times.  Already Sarah has missed the stage call for a Trump rally and inquiring minds are wondering if Sarah picked up her check and called it a day.  I thought it might be entertaining if we try our collective hand at writing a Marriage Boot Camp blurb like those the program uses to fluff and flog itself.

Here are the barebones and if you are so inclined, please fill-in the blanks.  You can cut and paste the paragraph into your comments if you want.

 

This season, a celebrity couple, Sarah and Donald fight for their political relevance under the weight of a vicious tabloid scandal, _______________________. Before their honeymoon is over an unimaginable background truth emerges that ____________________, sending their world spiraling into chaos.

The drama unfolds on the campaign trail as the fighting begins.  Marriage Boot Camp is their last resort, but _____________________.  Once thought to be America’s picture perfect political sweethearts, the murky truth is that ___________________.

 

If your interest lies beyond our little Sarah and Donald workshop, please don’t hesitate to take the conversation in any direction you might deem worthy.

Have a great Wednesday and let your creative genius shine.

 

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71 Responses to "Wallpaper and Fever Dreams, Part Deux…"

This season, a celebrity couple, Sarah and Donald fight for their political relevance under the weight of a vicious tabloid scandal, the revelation that Donald was wearing earplugs during Sarah’s endorsement speech. Before their honeymoon is over an unimaginable background truth emerges: Sarah has removed a huge painting of The Donald that hung over the gold mantelpiece in the Great Room at Mar-A-Lago and replaced it with a massive deer head ( to be fair, all the rooms at Mar-A-Lago are really, really Great ) thus sending their world spiraling into chaos.

The drama unfolds on the campaign trail as the fighting begins. Marriage Boot Camp seems to be their last resort, but then the Ghost of Donald Trump’s Le Club Past, Roy Cohn, appears. Once thought to be America’s picture perfect political sweethearts, the murky truth is that Cohn has plans for his former protégé that don’t include Sarah. Really, really tremendous plans. Stay tuned for Part Third.

Nicely done Beata — I was actually laughing out loud about the Roy Cohn part.

@1: Indeed, a great one Beata and yes, very clever with the Roy Cohn mention.

Okay, my lame contribution.

This season, a celebrity couple, Sarah and Donald fight for their political relevance under the weight of a vicious tabloid scandal, that the Trump hair is indeed a dyed and tamed lemur. Before their honeymoon is over an unimaginable background truth emerges that the Donald did say that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter yes, he might schtup her, sending their world spiraling into chaos.
The drama unfolds on the campaign trail as the fighting begins. Marriage Boot Camp is their last resort, but then Donald learns that Sarah lied to him when she said she could see Russia from her house. Once thought to be America’s picture perfect political sweethearts, the murky truth is that this couple is doomed because the combined sizes of their egos will never let them be able to share the same space again. Not even Trump Tower will be big enough to handle these two super-sized egos.

@5: Very funny! I really was LOL. The words “lemur” and “schtup” in the same paragraph always do that to me.

Beata I thought about making the hair a sloth but ya know, that would be too low energy for him.

@5, you had me at the lemur and had me laughing. No truer words ever typed than those about the egos.

New video from Hillary:

This season, a celebrity couple, Sarah and Donald, fight for their political relevance under the weight of a vicious tabloid scandal, revealing they had met at a Tourette’s Syndrome Support group for people born with gills as opposed to lungs thereby allowing them to talk incessantly without ever stopping to take a breath. Before their honeymoon is over an unimaginable background truth emerges that Sarah is deathly allergic to curry and Donald’s love of all things Indian, especially heavily curried Indian food, causes Sarah to have massive gill sneezing fits. These gill sneezing fits cause Sarah to play a tune resembling Himno Nacional Mexicano, the Mexican national anthem, sending their world spiraling into chaos.

The drama unfolds on the campaign trail as the fighting begins. Marriage Boot Camp is their last resort, since an inverted plastic cone over Donald’s head has failed to stop Donald from eating Indian baba ganoush and Sarah has failed to mute her curry induced gill tooting. Once thought to be America’s picture perfect political sweethearts, the murky truth is that it’s naan gonna work long-term.

@10: I’ll have what Prolix is taking.

1, 5, 10, all hilarious! LOLOL!

Prolix, laker did read your last post and enjoyed it very much. He didn’t comment because his password didn’t work and we were packing up for NAMM Show.

Beata@11: I totally agree.

All of you should be professional writers, if you aren’t already!

A lot of independent voters in NH are still undecided. It’s possible they’ll vote the R ticket in the primary to keep Trump from a win.

http://www.wbur.org/2016/01/21/new-hampshire-unenrolled-voters-presidential-primary-poll

You never know with NH. In 2008 it was oh, it’s going to be Obama and Hillary pulled it out.

Forgive me my hit and miss appearances. My historical society banquest is Saturday, and my fingers are plugging holes in many dykes. I’ll have something up for Sat and be back full on Sunday.

chat@18: I was worried that after the shoulder and arm sling thing that you thought you were so on the mend that you gave hang gliding a try. We’ll see ya soon!

GAgal@15: What she did was just vile. 👿

“Send me out of Iowa with the wind at my back,” she said,

How ’bout with a boot up your backside. 😉

I saw that in the crazy nutzoid endorsement race that Cruz got the endorsement of Glenn Beck to go along with the duck guy. I guess it’s “I’ll see your Palin and raise you with my Beck and Duck Robertson.”
o_O

@21: Thank G-d there is no sound on that thing although it still may be capable of triggering a seizure.

Beata, mouse over the lower right corner of it and you’ll get the sound. Be prepared. 😉

@15, she is disgusting. When Fiorina says, “I enjoy spending time with my husband,” she should be given the opportunity to do so with all dispatch.

@16, a huge percentage of NH voters won’t make their decision until they have the ballot in front of them. I just don’t trust the narrative being painted by the media beyond pumping interest.

@18, Chat, it will be a fantastic event. Good luck, take time to enjoy it, and we miss you.

@21, literally, when it comes to Glenn Beck and Robertson, if you are looking for nutzoids, if they walk like a duck and quack like a duck, you got yourself two feathered nutz!

@22, Sarah, Eva Gabor called and wants her bed jacket back.

Sorry everyone, my idea on fill-in the blank was obviously a big, fat, bust.

I have a new post cued for the morning.

@27 & 28: Two great ones there.

@29: But do those of us who tried really hard get a gold star or something?

@29: Prolix, not all of our writing muses function all the time or even when we want them to.

@31: Here ya go!

Great movie on TCM right now Foreign Correspondent, Hitchcock. BBL when it’s over.

@33: Thank you, Fredster. That means a lot to me. xoxo

@34: I’m going to watch that movie, too! Joel McCrea ( good guy ) and Herbert Marshall ( evil guy) are great in it.

@36: Don’t forget George Sanders too…always so urbane.

@37: Zsa Zsa certainly thought so. Often said he was her favorite husband. He later married her sister Magda.

@38: Well, nothing like sharing.

@31, Beata, not only gold stars, but Gold Star Chili:

@40: Ohuuu…that Cincy chili looks good.

@40: Yummy. Cincinnati chili is my favorite. I’d love some on a cold night like tonight.

@42, last weekend I made chili and as we say here in eastern KY, I made “enough for a workin’.” I froze it in individual containers and over the next few days, I am going to be a chili-meister as I watch the blizzard.

Beata, are y’all expecting any snow or bad weather from this mess moving through?

The wx guys here are saying we might get a dusting or maybe 1/4 inch or so. Of course they were completely wrong two years ago and we had the great interstate shutdown.

@44: We are supposed to miss this big one. We had bad ice and snow a couple weeks ago. There was a sheet of ice over everything. I couldn’t even step outside my front door for several days. All my windows were frozen shut. It was very cold and windy. Then we got more snow Tuesday night. The soft, powdery kind. Maybe another inch or so of snow tomorrow but nothing major. We can handle that.

I hope you all don’t get any ice. That is the scary stuff. Be careful and take care.

@43: Smart move there Prolix. Enjoy that chili. 😉

@45: “Be careful and take care” is redundant, so be careful and stay safe instead.

@45: I hit Wally-world around 1:30ish this morning and got some stuff to tide me over. I have tea, a gallon of Milos Unsweet, bagged tea for hot tea, bread, fruit and other stuff to eat…enough to tide me over if the wx guys completely screw up.

@47: Now who stands on formalities around here?

Good grief, MSNBC is waiting for a live presser with Trump. Guess it has to do with the National Review cover. Spare me please.

I made a batch of chicken and dumpling soup today ( my grandmother’s recipe ) . Chili sounds better though.

They have just upped our accumulation amount to maybe 18 inches. Should I say giddy up or mush to the dog sled team?

@20 fredster maybe they can get a strong enough wind at Sarah’s back to blow her back to Alaska.

I keep checking to see what’s up with the Bundy guys. Remember first we had the guy who said he was lucky his wife works and he supplements her income with his veteran’s disability(and cries to his kids #daddytookanoath). Then the guy who had 4 foster children taken from his home and said ‘they were my main source of income. The ranch and the cows just pay for themselves’. Considering the price of beef he’s doing something wrong.

Then a guy drove a federal vehicle to town or Portland or somewhere, and got arrested. Now, it turns out one of their most loyal, thru thick and thin (although they won’t admit they know him) is a convicted murderer. He is a felon who was convicted for the murder of his father who he killed in his sleep by hitting him in the head with an eyebolt (metal rod). But, he did his 4 years (not guilty by reason of insanity) and now he is a free bird.(sing it!) I can’t wait to see what’s next.

@51: Forget the sled team. Just hope that K.U. keeps the lines up.

This weather is so weird. We will warm up tonight with continued rain and then tomorrow the front will move through that brings the cold and snow. I never like that combination.

@52: Geez, let’s see: veterans’ disability, money from the state for foster kids, SBA loans. They sure like that public teat don’t they?

@52, GAgal, what do you bet that the favorite shows of the Bundy boyz are Duck Dynasty and reruns of Honey BooBoo?

@53, I have the generator gassed up and ready to go.

By the way, if I’m not around tomorrow just know that my tongue is frozen to some flagpole.

@53: That switchover from rain to snow could bring ice. Do you have any rock salt?

Do you have any rock salt?

I’m not going anywhere. 😉

@58: LOL. Good plan.

@56: No playing in the snow!

@59: Yep, I’ll just look out the window at the mess snow and ice.

@56: Just be sure to bundle up!

@55 Prolix, my southern accent is such that I can’t believe it’s me when I hear it on an answering machine. I mean twang. I can’t even spell twwaaang the way I say the word. But, when I saw a YT of Honey Boo all I could think was – Thank Gawwd they have subtitles. I could not understand a word they were saying.

@62, that was so me and my brother growing up. When we went outside in the snow, we were little Michelin Men (Boyz).

@63, I can’t make myself watch an episode of Honey Booboo — they always seem to be sprinting in parts of words and then slowing down and then speeding up again and I can’t understand a thing they are saying.

@63 and 65: Which is why I always have a little smile on my face when I hear someone say “southern accent”. I always think “which one?”. There are soft drawls, there are twangs like GAgal said. There are so many variations on that theme.

I am worried about all you eastern snowbirds. We’re in Anaheim for the NAMM Show, and it was fairly nice today, like in the 70s, so not really warm, but you didn’t need a sweater weather. Anyway, it stayed the same tonight and the pool at the place we were staying was full of kids at 9:30pm! Laker went down and sat in the jacuzzi, which was good for his achy legs.

Prolix, your post was great, and I enjoyed all three versions of the story.

Georgia, thanks for the update on Bundy Boyz! I don’t know who creeps me out more, them, or Palin and the conservatives that have crawled out from under their rocks to endorse Trump & Cruz.

Foreign Correspondent is a great movie. Love McCrea and Sanders.

Is Chat Scottish? Or is it Irish? We went out to the main outdoor stage tonight to see Graham Nash, and they had a memorial for people in the music industry who died in the past year, and a parade of men in kilts came through the crowd playing bagpipes and drums, and laker & I were up in front and they passed right in front of us, the bagpipes were literally inches from my face. It was very cool. They played amazing grace and another song. When they marched out, they went right past us again. It was interesting to see, and I thought of chat.

Oh, then Graham Nash came out and he was great. Can still sing and play. Really enjoyed it.

Hey annie! Gonna play catch up here really quickly.

I think chat has mainly a Scottish background but also has some Irish in there.

Glad y’all are having a great time in Anaheim and you’re enjoying the NAMM convention.

Great to hear that Graham Nash still has the pipes and technique.

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