Posted December 31, 2015on:
2015 was so ugly, Father Time would deny paternity, but it’s just about over. That’s the good news. The bad news is 2015 taught lots of people very bad lessons. We can be hopeful 2016 provides the opportunity to unlearn those lessons.
Here’s what people were talking about this year. As is so often the case, I’m out of sync with my fellow Kentuckians since they were more interested than anyone else in the country with the passing of a wrestler. I probably belong in Washington state where Leonard Nimoy’s final beaming-up was the prime click motivator.
I’ve tried to hit some of these subjects of interest and a few more. For instance:
- The news media spending eight months and 4,000 stories on Hillary’s email did nothing to help me figure out Windows 10.
- The Adult Video/Porn Awards came in second to the NFL in talking about deflated balls.
- Having Bibi Netanyahu come speak to Congress is like running into an ex-brother-in-law ten years after a divorce – no real affection, but civility requires tolerant indifference.
- I’m pretty sure “to protect and serve” Freddie Gray didn’t include a severed spine.
- You have to admit the name Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption is much better than either Richard Matt or David Sweat unless you do a mash-up of their names and get Dick Sweat.
- The most interesting thing about the Oscar-winning movie, Birdman or (the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) is the director’s, Alejandro González Iñárritu, name.
- Never thought a 66-year old man or woman in a corset would make the cover of Vanity Fair.
- No one noticed that the $220 million payday of the Paquaio/Mayweather fight worked out to equal a million dollars a year for their combined age.
- When two rival Texas biker gangs have a gunfight and 177 are arrested, but only 9 are killed, it means someone has been skipping target practice.
- Wonder if Rachel Dolezal tried the line, “White is technically a color,” with the NAACP?
- The Republic of Kosovo gained diplomatic recognition and John McCain was quick to issue his normal howdy-do, “Let’s bomb them and throw a get-to-know-them invasion.”
- Three guys on Medicare wearing black robes, try as they might, couldn’t stop twelve million poor people from getting health care.
- Five people wearing black robes weren’t the boss of full-time hair farmer and part-time county clerk Kim Davis.
- If Pope Francis had spoken before Congress another five minutes, John Boehner’s crying would have had him completely dehydrated.
- If Volkswagen had programmed the autopilot on the Germanwings airplane most likely 150 people would have had a better vacation.
- Two of the guys in the running to replace Sepp Blatter of Fifa are Jerome Champagne and Tokyo Sexwale – either is sure to turn Sepp into an angry, irritable Blatter.
- Who would have thought Dubya was the smarter one?
- Of the seven trials held this year in police shooting cases, five ended in acquittals or mistrials, and the other two were dismissed – that’s 0-7, add one more zero and you have 007’s license to kill.
- It only took three terrorist attacks in France to retire the term “Freedom Fries.”
- In the eight years since five guys wearing black robes cobbled a nonexistent right to bear arms from a misplaced comma, the number of deaths attributable to guns in the U.S. is approaching the number killed in combat during World War II.
- The Paris Climate Agreement had an ambitious list of climate anomalies to address. An addition to that list: It was warmer at the North Pole this week than it was in west Texas, southern California, and parts of the Sahara. For those admiring consistency, the idiocy of climate change denial remains unchanged.
- If Donald Trump’s primary lead falters, ala Ozzie Osbourne, he will bite the head off a bald eagle to make ahMurica great again.
- Inspiring fear and then fearing its absence is a pathetic existence and has never been a sustainable political philosophy.
May 2016 be a year where the collective “force of goodness reawakens” and once again triumphs.
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