The Widdershins

Live Blog of the Republican Food Fight, i.e., debate

Posted on: November 10, 2015

Hello friends!  It’s a Tuesday so why don’t we watch seven white guys and a white lady act out their anger issues while smiling like rabid wolves and belching off-key non sequiturs demonstrating no sense of humor whatsoever.

Directly from Wescottsin, the home of Scott Walker who dropped out of the race before he was forced to admit, “Me no read stuff,” but like that former paragon of Veep geography says, “I can see Illinois when I’m in Pleasant Prairie, Wescottsin, because it’s on the border.”

Without further adieu (cue the organ grinder), your Republican candidates for the non-47%’ers.




98 Responses to "Live Blog of the Republican Food Fight, i.e., debate"

I’m glad they have a Brit moderator representing the European voters.

The ghost of the Gipper has given his blessing. Let the games begin.

Rand Paul’s makeup person moonlights as a mortician.

Trump: If we want to stay competitive, we need to keep the workers poor. And the crowd applauds.

Carson: My 3-year-old granddaughter is here and she is advising me on economics and pyramid grain storage.

Rubio: I was born a poor Cuban, did you get that, I was a poor Cuban, a Cuban who was poor at birth, birth brought me to poor Cuban-ness. Do you understand?

Rubio: Why increase the minimum wage when needy people can illegally use credit cards instead?

Kasich: I’ve balanced so many budgets, my nickname is “Seal”.

Kasich: I am the only sane person here. That’s why I have no chance in this race.

Cruz: Can someone hand me the tp — my crap is especially runny tonight.

Cruz: I enjoy holding my head in a vise just for fun. Gray squirrels love me. I feed them hot dogs and peanuts.

Jeb! the last time we had 4% growth was 2000 before your bubbie ran the economy into the ground, what are you going to do?

@11, LOL

Carly needs to calibrate the Valium Pez dispenser, she’s going back for thirds at the word salad bar.

Carly: I met a woman the other day who prays. I told her that her hair was so yesterday, then I fired her even though she didn’t work for me. I used to be the CEO of HP, remember?

I guess Fredster couldn’t find Fox Business Channel.

@15, LOL.

And I smiled when I fired her because I’m supposed to smile more. I was smiling because I was thinking about running over the View women with a steamroller after droning those witches. People thought I was a tyrant at HP — it stood for Hell Personified — just wait till I get some drones.

Eww. Carson stands with his hands out like old pix of Jesus. Now he’s whining about people lying about him. Oh, and Hillary is horrible.

Trump: Because of me the 5th Circuit threw out 5 million illegals — that’s a good start, I just have 6 million more to go. Look what I can do.

Beata & Prolix, you guys are so hilarious with your back and forth. You guys should do a comedy tour!

Yes, miss Fredster.

Hiya Annie!

Fredster might be napping.

Trump: I like Ike, but Ike was no Trump.

Now the Fox dweebs are losing control. This is like a bunch of feral cats trying to use the same litter box.

Trump’s answers all sound like Bad Lip Reading.

Trump: We will have a wall. A wall will be built. A wall will be successful if we are going to be a country. Just ask Israel.

Hi, Annie!

Breaking news: Ted Cruz claims to have a mother.

Cruz: In another two weeks my chin will have completely disappeared and my nose will be partially blocked by my Adam’s Apple.

Hell personified!!! LOL!

Beata! (Hugs)

Carly: All people have to do is get a $22 Million severance package for running a venerable company into the ground.

Cruz: What will be different this time? This time Grandpa will be pushed off the cliff!

Carly: I know how to move money. Boy, do I.

What do you want to bet Lady Lindsey is outside letting the air of their tires?

Fiorina: let us try the one thing we’ve never tried (healthcare), the free market. What a crazy beotch. The free market is what ruined health care in this county.

@33, I hope so!

An ad for the Benghazi movie — the Repub party just had an organism.

@30 & 31, you guys are on top of your game tonight!

@36, did the ad show Hillary in a witches costume shrieking into a phone, ordering the brave military men to “stand down”?

Cruz is such a freaking liar. The business flat tax is nothing more than a pass through to customers meaning business pays nothing and consumers in essence pay about 30% taxes without any deductions, but according to Cruz you get screwed on a postcard.

Carson: We will use chariots to get the economy moving just like the Romans did in Ben Hur.

@38, it says it is, “The true story you have never been told.” It is a Michael Bay movie — you know the guy who brought you the truth behind “Transformers.”

Jeb! a question: Is there a difference between 13K jobs and 247K jobs? The first number is your brother’s average monthly job creation, the second is last month’s job numbers.

Jeb? wants to “simplify the tax code”. Yeah, that worked out real well for me when Reagan did it. I went from filing long form and getting $ back to going short form and paying $. I was in the lower middle class segment, working two jobs to support myself and educate myself, and they f**king raised my taxes by “simplifying”. Thanks assholes. (I never did finish college btw)

Rubio: My pro-family values — we are raising future taxpayers!

Rubio looks like Wally on “Leave it to Beaver”.

Marco: There are radicals in the Middle East and where are they when I need them to take care of Rand Paul.

@46: LOL. Marco seemed lost without his rehearsed lines.

Fiorina looks like she had waaay too much botox yesterday, and sounds like she took too many xanax today.

Cruz: I don’t like sugar.

Carly: My foolish plan is to zero out every agency in the federal government and start the budget process from zero each year. In other words, we will abolish the military and replace them with auditors wearing green eye shades to do the budget each day, every day, 365.

Carly: Ask yourself this question. Why haven’t I been offered another job since I was canned as CEO at HP?

They ought to “electro-shock” Trump during the commercial breaks to keep him from sounding like Drunk History.

Rand Paul: Doesn’t my hair look gorgeous?

This is SNL gone wrong.

@50, Bingo!

Jeb!: Breaking news — Muricans come from Murica — to show you my grasp of furein affairs, Murica is sometimes referred to as US of A. The A stands for Murica.

@53, So right!

Trump: Putin and I were friends for about 15 minutes one night — same amount of time I was friends with 3 S&M masseurs in Moscow one night.

Trump: I spoke to a General about two weeks ago, it was in a Chinese restaurant and his name was Tso, we had chicken.

Carly, I want to peek under Putin’s nose.

Fiorina wants to start WW3, just to spite Trump.

Sorry kids, I’ve reached my limit. Got to shut off the TeeVee. See ya later!

Rubio: He just tickled his sugar daddy’s balls — Sheldon Adelson got that tingly feeling in his nether region.

Night Beata.

I’ve seen at least 4 ads against the CFPB — at $250K a pop, the American Action Network has dropped about a million bucks tonight.

I think Jeb! is having a mild stroke.

Here is a translation of every last thing Carson says, “I don’t want bad things to happen. I like good things to happen. I will be sad if bad things happen and much happier if good things happen.”

Rubio just tickled the dangles of Sheldon Adelson again. Sheldon is going to be worn out by the end of the evening.

@65, I’m calling him Jeb? now. Agree about him having a mild stroke. Does the RNC want Rubio, do ya think?

@68, I think the RNC is worried about Rubio — he’s in the pocket of Adelson and some other FL billionaire and he’s so shallow on just about everything. I think the RNC would like Christie, but will settle for Rubio.

I’m sorta worried about Fredster. He was looking forward to this.

Does Maria have ostrich feathers as eyelashes?

Fredster called and asked that I let everyone know that his internet died.

Chat, how are you feeling?

Is it me or do the Repubs not know how to tell time? Here’s a question, when is 2 hours not 2 hours — when Repubs are talking — it is much longer.

Nice to **see** you Chat! Hope you’re feeling better. Thanks for message from Fredster.

@71, must agree. Hideous makeup. Don’t much like the hair either.

Why doesn’t the rnc like Kasich? Wouldn’t he be their best shot? I really don’t get it.

Ted Cruz: My daddy was a Cuban too — in your face Rubio. We were on a boat, you were floating on an inner tube — in your face.

@77, I don’t think he has the pizzazz to fire up the base. He also expanded Medicaid and he’s for reasonable immigration. He isn’t acceptable to the base. I think on a policy basis, Kasich is the most dangerous to Hillary.

Do you think Cavuto will say at the end, “Let’s go eat some cheese!”

Annie, how’s my buddy Laker?

Is it over? The spin is already calling Jeb “feisty”. Is that another way of saying he had a mild stroke?

I’ve been on the telephone so I haven’t heard any prognosis yet.

@73: Slow improvement,. Still tired and shaky.

@81, he says “Hi Prolix!” and he’s “trying to stay out of trouble!” He’s busy with school and his various writing projects. He had mid-terms last week and two essays are due next week, so he is pretty busy. His grades are high, and no tickets or accidents, or too crazy parties, so we’re all good!

Poor chat. Sending you hugs and good vibes!

@79, “…Kasich is the most dangerous to Hillary.”

I think so as well. Strange that he rethug machine doesn’t get it. Maybe they think their idiot base wouldn’t go out to vote for him since he isn’t apeshit crazy.

I wish I lived near Chat and could feed her. I made my amazing homemade chicken and rice soup, and the world’s best homemade hot cocoa tonight.

@85, tell Laker to keep the grades high and the speeds low. That is the way it should be. As for the crazy parties — one now and again isn’t bad.

I’m really modest.

@87, the Luntz focus group was deadly to Kasich. They hated his answers and his interrupting. Not good news for Kasich. One tea party lady actually called him a dangerous liberal. LOL.

@88, the soup sounds great. I wish Chat felt better. Her wry sense of humor brightens up the place.

@90, you and hubby have done a most excellent job. Raising an independent, self-sufficient child is one of the definitions of success.

It’s time for me to see if the bed holds some sleep for me.

Thanks everyone for the good time.

@91, omg! Mindblowing.

Prolix, hope you get a good nights sleep. See you tomorrow! Thanks for the laughs!

Chat, feel better! Fredster, get back online! We miss you both.

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