A dangerous infection…
Posted September 28, 2015on:
For those of you tuning in expecting MB, she can’t be here today. Here’s what I have to offer.
It always starts out innocent enough. There are subtle changes in behavior. There might be changes in tone, maybe there’s an elevated temperature and things are a bit warmer than normal, and there is the constant irritation – always irritated about any and everything.
The next phase of the infection manifests itself in wantonness craving – craving to eat anything, even inedible objects. This craving gives way to incessant growling and grousing. There is a general disorientation to the world as it exists. Nothing goes right – can’t go right – won’t go right – the whole world is wrong since it fails to listen to the copious amounts of advice so freely offered.
Then the erratic behavior begins. There are episodes of aggressive behavior toward others. The erratic behavior is unexplainable since it often goes against convention and the world as it presents itself.
Those suffering from the condition show visible signs of anxiety and alertness to even the slightest provocation. The irritability is palpable. There is constant restlessness and episodic outbursts of irrationality.
When it gets to this point, time has drawn short for those suffering from the “Furious Phase of Mad Dog Syndrome”. I could have just as easily been describing the cabal of U.S. Representatives who are celebrating the resignation of John Boehner as Speaker last Friday. Simply put, John Boehner didn’t have a prayer.
If the analogy holds, for rabid dogs the next phase is paralysis and total incapacitation. We can only hope this group of the fringiest of the fringe holds true to the symptomatology they have exhibited so far.
Who are these mad dogs of the House? They are a group of about thirty-seven members of Congress (36 testosterone-based and 1 estrogen-based). They call themselves the Freedom Caucus. They are new members mostly having been elected in 2010. They are Tea Party swilling ideologues who detest gubmint in all its forms especially the gubmint presently headed by a commie Afro-Kenyan named Obama.
These caucusteers suffer from Mad Dog Syndrome and banded together after the House Republican Study Caucus (RSC) became too liberal or better said, not severely conservative enough for them. Lest you get the wrong idea, the RSC was headed at the time by Steve Scalise, the guy who claimed to have all the good points of David Duke, but none of the baggage.
Emblematic of the membership is a cast of characters who are, according to Republican sources, the “craziest of the crazies.” There are the usual suspects like Steve King of “cantaloupe calves” fame and Raul Labrador of Idaho, who himself is of immigrant heritage and is an immigration attorney, but who has fought immigration reform at every turn.
There are those who are not as well-known like Gary Palmer of Alabama who is “set his hair on fire” angry about Planned Parenthood funding even though the tapes that have him so upset were doctored and edited with stock images.
There’s Mark Meadows of North Carolina, one of the founders of the group, who submitted the resolution in August declaring the office of the speaker vacant. One of his seven reasons: The Speaker uses the power of the office to punish Members who vote according to their conscience instead of the will of the Speaker. Well Mark, welcome to two-hundred years of House of Representatives history.
Another member is Justin Amash of Michigan. Amash was profiled by the NY Times as the most contrarian member of Congress. What an honorific! One of his brilliant policy points is that he isn’t sure Planned Parenthood will stay dead after Congress kills it because it can just change its name to something else. He’s frightened of zombie health care workers.
Then there’s Cynthia Lummis, who represents the entire state of Wyoming. What is it about Wyoming? Her most eloquent statement is this: I wouldn’t trust Obama with a clod of dirt, let alone international trade deals.
Then there’s my new personal favorite from Oklahoma, Rep. Markwayne Mullin (one name, no space) who is a former competitor in mixed martial arts cage matches. (See, rabid dog explanation earlier in this post.) Markwayne runs a workout session in the mornings in the Congressional Gym and is stealing members from Paul Ryan’s P90X workout because Markwayne’s sessions create prettier abs or at least that is what the Tulsa World surmised.
- Gerrymandering has been very, very good to these crazies. Their districts vote 14% more Republican than the average district and there are very few minorities in their districts.
- Most came to power during the 2010 midterms. They came promising to pull Obamacare out by root and branch. They proclaimed Obamacare the end of civilization as we know it.
- If you only have a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. This group of representatives only knows two gears – anger and fear. They know nothing else; therefore, the apocalypse is an event happening on the half-hour according to their timekeeping.
- Not only are these folk science-deniers, as Republican Rep. Tom Cole said, “These people deny simple mathematics. Either they can’t count or they won’t count. Unless you have 60 in the Senate, your agenda is going nowhere.”
- This is a group who represent a constantly moving target. The kiss of death of any proposal is an Obama thumbs-up even if it is a policy proposal they have supported in the past.
- Finally, policy doesn’t mean diddlely squat to this caucus outside of refusing to compromise. Their positions are pathological for the most part. Hurting people and even hurting the country by downgrading the credit of the U.S. is acceptable to their philosophy of scorched earth politics.
John Boehner is happily getting out. The cigarettes will burn brightly, the Merlot will flow, and tee times await him. For him, just like in Pagliacci, it is curtain time with the closing line: La commedia è finita! – “The comedy is finished!” Unfortunately, for the rest of us, it is just beginning.
Take the conversation in any direction you might like.
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