The Widdershins

EZ PZ…

Posted on: September 7, 2015

Good morning, MB has a well-deserved day off.  Here’s my offering to the Widdershin world this fine Labor Day.

Some say consistency is a virtue.  If that is true, the intellectually lazy are extremely virtuous.  They always, without fail, endeavor to draw false equivalencies between Republicans and Democrats which is always easier than addressing the issues at hand.EZ PZ lemon squeezy

Doubtless there are some equivalencies between the parties, but in one area there is no parity.  Where there is no comparison is playing to the cheap seats on policy.  There is nary a bit of competition there – Republicans win going away.

Democrats almost always end up proposing functional policies usually centering on raising taxes and increased governmental regulation.  On the flip side, Republicans, more often than not, proclaim everything is easy-peasy – all you need is a little common sense to solve any problem no matter the complexity.

Republicans get out the Ronaldus Maximus Ouija board, recite the “government is the problem” incantation, and gleefully celebrate with those “ignorance is bliss” glazed-over googly eyes.

When I hear the rationale of “there are no easy answers, only simple solutions,” I start breaking glass so that I may take a nice, relaxing crawl through it.  The basis of this cockeyed notion is that understanding how government works isn’t necessary and is actually a hindrance to getting things done.

When I hear willful ignorance celebrated in such fashion, I have one of three thoughts:

  1. I gotta try functional alcoholism, it seems fun;
  2. Incest products say the darndest things; or
  3. Someone needs to water those idiots.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, but admittedly, not as much time as I have spent trying to figure out why John McEnroe is the spokes-toenail for Jublia anti-fungal medicine, but I digress.  Here are a few examples of what happens when you start believing you are the first person ever to think up crazy stuff.

Not exactly the same telephone poll, but a nice picture nonetheless...

Not exactly the same type of telephone poll, but a nice picture nonetheless…

Carly Fiorina

Hewlett-Packard went through a definite evolution during Fiorina’s tenure.  It went from a venerable institution to a “Hellish Pit” where 30,000 people got canned while she overpaid billions for a merger with a legacy business enjoying a downhill luge run.  Add to those fun facts, on the day Fiorina was fired, HP’s stock went up 7%.

Fiorina’s next great idea is turning every policy question into an “American Idol” type dial-in poll on everyone’s smart phones.  Here’s the problem with that brain-trickle.

Not everyone has a smart phone.  Not everyone cares to have a smart phone.  And having a bunch of uninformed, unintelligent, and unwitting people voting on stuff is redundant – that’s why we have Congress.

Chris Christie

Chris Christie’s big idea is tracking all immigrants like FedEx packages.  Here’s the slogan that would be on the walls of Immigration and Customs Enforcement break rooms:  When your immigration program has to be absolutely, positively the most insane in the world, try tattooing Thirteen Million people.

A girl gets her very first Christie immigration box...

A girl gets her very first Christie immigration box…

Christie’s lap band has obviously slipped down around his small intestines because he’s filling up with enormous amounts of crap.  Here’s a news flash – packages, unlike people, don’t have free will and unless you are having a minor touch of delirium tremors, packages don’t walk around either.

So in order for Christie’s grand FedExigrant plan to work, there seem to be two alternatives:

  1. Stuff all immigrants into cardboard boxes (in a major concession air holes are likely to be allowed); or
  2. Assign each and every immigrant a personalized FedEx-type watcher.

I’m relatively positive Christie isn’t the first person to have thought of this idea, but the other people who thought of it couldn’t write it down because they were restrained by leather straps.

The Wyoming Nesting Dolls, the a.k.a. the Cheneys

In their new book, Dick and Liz have made everything exceedingly simple.  They’ve given us a checklist of really good stuff to do.  For instance:

  1. We have to teach our children about the benefits of using thermonuclear devices;
  2. We have to constantly remind ourselves that Gitmo is, in essence, a Club Fed where waterboarding should be happening on the half-hour out on the lanai; and
  3. Conquered people, like the Iraqis, love having our boots on their throats as a sign of endearing foreplay.

Those are three of Dick and Liz’s best suggestions for taking a big red eraser to history.

Anchor babyAnd then there’s the Donald…

Donald Trump is gum on your shoe without any of the fun.  His whole world is completely binary:  You are a winner or you are a loser.  You are a One or you are a Zero.  It just so happens unless you are spawned from his orange-hued loins, you are a loser.

How about this little nugget if you are looking for the apex of Mt. Hypocrisy?  Four of Trump’s five children are children of immigrant mothers.  So after Donald cobbles together his little continent dividing wall, his next immigration solution will undoubtedly be his personal fertilization of all anchor babies.  Rest assured, they will be beautiful, they will be winners, and he will love and cherish them.

Voltaire said, “To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.”  From what we’ve seen so far in this presidential race, there’s plenty of world-class stupid, not much in the way of manners, and little hope for national success.  Voltaire, just like the rest of us, wouldn’t be amused.

 

Your thoughts on any subject are enthusiastically encouraged.

 

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80 Responses to "EZ PZ…"

The lowest common denominator(s) strike(s) again! Such a fun election this promises to be….

@1, it will indeed be entertaining, but like skydiving without a shute, it is scary and decidedly ill-advised.

Good for Hillary. And the next question she gets from a “reporter” will be…”So, you refuse to apologize…? Bet ‘ya $5.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/clinton-email-apology-allowed-33588931

@3, GAgal, sorry, but I wouldn’t take that bet because you are absolutely right.

Contrary to everything you hear on all of the networks, what she did was allowed and it is in black and white in the regulations. I’ve noticed, probably just like you have, the questions have now migrated to, “Even since this was allowed, shouldn’t you have known that this controversy would arise and not used a private server?”

It never stops.

About Carly’s smart phone thingy idea. Oh hell no! We’ve seen the results in so many places where turning the uninformed and uneducated loose in a voting booth was not a good idea. I’ll be damned if I want them to have the option to just dial it in while they sit on that couch which is on their front porch.

Hey Boo!! (waves)

@5, yes, I agree with you and I recognize those types since I’m related to most of those folks given that up here in Appalachia our family trees don’t fork.

@7: Prolix, I still have some kin left up there but I can’t recall any who had the actual fabric couches on the porch. Those metal gliders, yes. Those were fun to sit on and *glide*, I guess.

Now I do not want to believe that metal porch gliders is a phenomenon limited to eastern Kentucky as this face book page implies. I’m willing to bet they have their share of them in Bowling Green and Paducah also.

@8 & 9, I had not thought of “gliders” in thirty years. My grandparents had them on their porches. I sat for hours on them and read.

@8 & 9: Those pictures of metal porch gliders bring back some happy childhood memories. My grandparents had a glider on their porch in Southern California. I loved to sit on it when we would go visit. My grandfather was originally from Greenup, KY.

@10: Same here with the grandparents. And on a visit one year back to Ky, my Dad bought one up there, put it in the back of his truck and brought it home. He put it on the back patio and I can’t count the times I would look out and there he and Brandy the Sheltie were, both snoozing away.

I don’t have a smart phone. I don’t want a smart phone. Does this mean in Carly’s world I won’t exist?

Oh, well. Just give me a glider and a good book.

@12: That’s a sweet memory, Fredster. Shelties are great dogs.

Beata@11: So maybe it *was* a Kentucky thing. 😯

There were a couple of occasions at my grandmother’s when several of the family all came in and we kids would argue over who got to sit there: “you’ve been sitting there for an hour, it’s my turn now!”. 😆

@12, the bestest thing about gliders was how little effort it to glide back and forth. It was as if something took over your foot and decided to propel the rest of you just for the fun of it.

Beata she was such a good dog just so sweet and laid back. Except when it came to cats. She would just go crazy when she saw them.

Also, when she was outside with Suzi the poodle, she would try to herd Suzi who was older then. Suzi would take it for about 10 minutes or so and then let out that growl that was “leave me alone NOW”. LOL!

@13, I’m pretty sure being smart phoneless is just the tippy top of the iceberg of what makes people insignificant to Carly’s realm of relevance.

The time she spent at HP (Hellish Plantation) was a nightmare for just about everyone. She does have a well-developed ego because she hasn’t taken responsibility for any of the problems — they were all the fault of other, lesser humans.

Having that psychological profile would seem to be an anathema to most Vice Presidential candidates, but who knows.

@Prollix, that’s so true. Just a little flick of the foot/ankle sent you on your way.

Prolix@18: I don’t see Carly being Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who would be the better alternative.

@20: I bet Carly can’t make these moves.

@18: At one point in the pre-Carly time, HP monitors were the cadillac of heart monitoring. They’re no longer anyone’s first choice.

R.I.P. Judy Carne. Sock it to me!

@21: True dat! I don’t know how Julia didn’t tear her back or neck apart trying those moves.

Welp…football is on. BBL.

Go Hokies!

Good grief, another one. R.I.P. Martin Milner, Adam-12.

Hokey, hokey, hokey,hi!!!! Go Va Tech!

@27: Just got back from the bbq place and in the 3rd qtr looks like Va Tech is still in it.

@20 & 21, Carly is no Elaine, but she is hell bent for leather to be Selina Meyer from Veep. I think she is the Hillary stalking horse just like Herman “999” Cain was the Obama stalking horse.

The similarities, forced retired business execs who have egos slightly larger than Montana, coming from essentially nowheresville to run for Preznit. Both looking for ways to curry favor with the big-moneyed boyz — a little too miraculous inception in this cynic’s scrapbook.

@22, when Fiorina ran against Barbara Boxer, Boxer’s contributions from HP personnel was twice what Fiorina’s were.

This is a quote and I can’t remember from where, and I’m paraphrasing here, that I remember when Fiorina was floated as a running mate for McCain in 2008.

John McCain is a war hero and a POW. He’s suffered enough.

@29: Prolix you are insulting Selena Meyer!

@30: Heh…I wonder if that was Steve Schmidt? Or was he the one responsible for Palin?

Jonathan Bernstein doesn’t think Carly even has a chance at veep. The reason? She may have a corporate background but she has no governing experience.

@31, I would never insult Selena. Her potty mouth alone makes her my hero.

It wasn’t Schmidt. It was someone who had something to do with HP. I think Schmidt signed off on Palin and as manager he accepts responsibility, but it was Bill Kristol and Mort Kondracke who were mesmerized when their cruise ship stopped in Alaska and Sarah Palin entertained them. Sorta like a conservative’s Fleet Week — both feet on the floor and no dancing.

I love gliders, although I didn’t grow up with them. My mom has had one for the past 20 years or so up in WA, and I love to glide and read. I have actually been looking for one for some time.

Nice post, Prolix! Very funny!

@33: LOL at Conservative’s Fleet Week. Sounds like no fun at all.

annie have you looked on ebay?

I’m sitting here trying not to nod off. Could be all the brisket I had earlier. Think I’ll call it a night y’all.

Annie@34: I saw some new gliders being offered by the Improvements’ catalog online. If you are interested, search for their “Veranda Retro Metal Patio Furniture”. They come in several colors. I think the green ones look the most vintage. ( And, no, I don’t get a commission! )

Beata@36: But I’m sure you will get a gracious “thank you”.

Well, the judge in Kentucky let goofy out of jail and Huckabuck was by her side. That will do nothing to help Huckabuck’s Prez campaign and he’ll soon go back to selling his quack cinnamon diabetes cure.

@38: I heard Cruz was heading to KY as well. Obviously, two drowning candidates hoping to latch on to something as they float downstream. Pathetic.

Hillary is going to be interviewed tonight on ABC World News. The interview will be on World News and then I guess more of it on Nightline.

http://news.yahoo.com/hillary-clinton-private-email-mistake-m-sorry-212054267.html

Oh yeah Beata, he was there, but didn’t get any face time. Ain’t that a shame. Huckabuck said if anyone was going to be jailed let them take him instead (or something like that). Here’s a suggestion for both: Hush up and sit down.

@39 & 41, yes Joe McCarthy reincarnate was in attendance today. It was quite the show against the oppressive religious persecution of not being able to engage in overt pernicious bigotry.

I don’t know if y’all caught it, but there were entrepreneurial churches from all over buzzing around the money/honey pot. One of them from Maryland even had signs with their www address. Nothing proves loving the Lord like a big fat click of an internet donation button.

@40 Interesting because Hillary just told the AP she was not going to apologize for using a private server because it was allowed. I’d hate to see her waffle on this. World News comes on at 7 here so I’ll be watching it soon.

Prolix@42 OMG, didn’t see that! That’s incredible. 😯

GAgal, I’ve already seen it, came on at 5:30 Central. I won’t spoil it for you. The thing is she could have herself bound to a cross with chains and set afire and it will never be enough for some folks. 👿

I watched the interview, too. I won’t say anything about it now except to agree with Fredster. For some people, nothing Hillary could ever say or do would appease them. More of the interview will be shown on Nightline later tonight.

@36, thanks Beata! (and I would be happy if you did get a commission!)

I also hope HIllary doesn’t apologize.

Regarding Cruz at that scam artists Jesus Jamboree in Kentucky (did you see her husband?!?), I read at nyt that Cruz got to the jail too late and as Huckster and the scam artist walked out to greet their adoring fans, one of Huckster’s aides blocked the way so Cruz couldn’t walk out with them! Hilarious!

Also in the news is a woman who became a flight attendant, then became a muslim (!?!) and told her bosses she could no longer serve alcohol. They told her to work it out with the other attendants, which she did, but they apparently got sick of it and complained about her not doing her job, so she has been suspended. Of course she is suing, filing complaints, CAIR involved, etc. Pretty soon we’re going to get to the point where we’ll all have to sign long contracts about not doing our jobs, and then suing them over it. These religious accommodations at the workplace are getting tiresome.

Oh, and in the comments @ wapo, there was this really funny comment:

“PleaseStayInYourLane
1:38 PM PDT
As a fellow airline employee, I am very angry that my colleague is being chastised for adhering to her religious beliefs and refusing to serve alcohol. As a pilot, I am required to leave my seat several times daily, roll out my prayer rug, and carry out my required religious duties. The rug is very narrow, and just fits behind my co-pilot’s seat. It usually only takes me 10 minutes to complete my prayers while the plane is safely flying along on autopilot. My copilot is not allowed to touch the controls during my prayers, as this would offend me. The autopilot is all we need to keep my 287 passengers flying along safely at 35,000 feet.”

Made me LOL!

Enough, already. If you cannot do your job because of religion, then get yourself a job that you can do. I worked with any number of Jehovah’s Witness nurses who ran blood transfusions into patients without blinking, as they did not feel that their unwillingness to receive blood products translated into not giving them as well. If you feel that pork is unclean, don’t take a job in a bacon factory. If you disapprove of abortions, there are hundreds of other nursing jobs that won’t offend you. It’s a big world out there.

@48: This is the slope we’re headed down. Sorry lady, if you can’t handle a little bottle of booze and maybe you’re slacking off too (from the complaint by co-workers) then it’s time to get a new job. Perhaps the airline can put you behind the main counters or at the check-in desk at the gate. If not, too bad, so sad.

annie, loved that comment!

chat@49: Exactly!

That’s hilarious about Cruz being shut out of the photo-op!

Okay, Hillary did NOT apologize for the personal server. That headline was misleading as usual. She apologized for not using two different accounts because in hindsight she believes it would have been better. Then he asked about the two “top secret” emails and she explained (again) that it is inter-agencies disputes. At least he only spent five minutes on email bull.

@GAgal, I think she did say, in hindsight, that it was a mistake, didn’t she? Still, no one who is going after her will be happy with her statements.

Oh my GAWD! Just saw a graphic for “All in” Hayes’ show that read “Down in the poles”. 😯 Is that what they’re hiring at the networks these days?

How it’s being played (server-gate):

Asked about setting up the private email account by ABC News, Clinton said, “That was a mistake. I’m sorry about that. I take responsibility, and I’m trying to be as transparent as I possibly can.”

The Democratic presidential candidate declined to apologize for using a private email system when asked directly by NBC News on Friday, saying she was “sorry that this has been confusing to people.” In an interview with The Associated Press on Monday, she said an apology wasn’t necessary because what she did was “allowed” by the State Department.

@54 yes Fredster she did say in hindsight it was a mistake and she was sorry and that she took responsibility for it.

@57: When it was on, I was watching but doing a couple of other things so I wasn’t sure if I heard correctly or not. I think Muir also said there would be more on Nightline, however I wonder if it will be worth it to watch.

Yes, Muir did say there would be more on Nightline tonight. I think he also said more would be shown on ABC evening news tomorrow.

“Down in the poles”? LOL. That is embarrassing.

Beata@59: I normally watch the ABC news so no biggie. Do I want to watch Nighltine, eh…

Yes it was embarrassing about that graphic. I’m hoping someone was able to capture it.

Geez…doesn’t Yeb! realize we know how this works and average folks get screwed?

Stephen Colbert’s first night as Late Show host is tonight. His guests are George Clooney and Yeb!. Poor George. Also, they better not put Yeb! on first!

@48 & 49, Amen! I have to say as someone who once flew hundreds of thousands of miles a year, all too often my personal religious practices of drinking as much as I could were discriminated against. My personal religious practice of completely filling up the little airplane septic tanks was all too often wrongfully ignored. I still flew and my reasonable accommodation was to get on the plane drunker than Cootie Jones. That is an example of the First Amendment freedom of the fifths.

@62, I’ve been looking forward to a good dose of Stephen all day. I’ve missed him.

That is an example of the First Amendment freedom of the fifths.

ROTFL!!

Did anyone else get an email from Hillary (well, sorta) about the emails?

There’s a link in it I’ll paste in here:

http://tinyurl.com/omrzl5s

I was very moved by Hillary’s answer to the question about her mother at the end of the ABC interview. She got teary eyed as she spoke. I got teary eyed, too. But I know she’s going to get criticized about it and probably be accused of being “inauthentic” or some such garbage.

G-d, it’s still months before the first votes are cast and I’m already fed up!!!

@63: Prolix, you are so funny! You crack me up like my brother used to. No one could make me laugh the way he did.

Beata@67: I’m convinced there’s nothing she can do that will let people cut her a break on that stuff. I’m just like you: already fed up with this cr@p!

@68, I’m humbled and red-faced right now. Thank you!

I watched Nightline and it was the same segment from earlier today as far as I could tell.

I am sick. This is a replay of June 6th, 2008.

Hillary Clinton did nothing wrong, we know she did nothing wrong, she and we should continue to hold fast to that.
I
Instead, what happens? She apologizes on national television, gives into the thugs.

Where did it leave us for six years while an overt sexist had control of the office she had earned, with the help she gave him?

Where does that leave women in this country? How hard will she fight for us, if she will not fight for herself?

@72, Pat, you are exactly right. This is but a replay of what we have seen before. This goes beyond Clinton fanaticism and derangement. This is exhibit “A” of the Foxification of the news. It is now complete.

To think of the issues that have been thrown up on the wall against Hillary and this one sticks. Everything she did was legal. Everything she did was allowed at the time. The internal investigations of the emails are nothing more than interagency turf battles and pissing contests.

This factless Foxification of the news is serving one purpose: Prejudice the opinion of a whole generation of millennials who have no remembrance of the Clinton years. Republicans know they have no hope of winning unless it is against a socialist or a serial gaffe machine.

@72: Pat, I’m guessing her advisers told her to just say “yeah, sorry, big mistake” in the hopes she can move on and have this behind her. And just think: She’s still got to go before Torquemada, uh Trey Gowdy.

Hell, I was supposed to be getting ready for sleep, but went over to Skydancing for a minute. Kat put this youtube up and it’s hysterical.

Fredster, that was a hoot! We watched Colbert tonight and liked it. The funniest part was when Jeb! walked out on the stage and you couldn’t (or could hardly) hear any applause for him from the audience. They wildly applauded Colbert and then Clooney, but for Jeb!, next to nothing. They gave a mild applause when his segment (totally lame) was over though. I can understand that. Will Colbert have to have every one of those nit wits on his show now? Ewww.

Hugs to Pat! I know, it was a bummer. I also wish she wouldn’t have done it, wish she would have flipped them off instead. The next year is going to be like this. We have to learn to grin and bear it. Or maybe snarl like a doberman and bear it!

Annie, Randy Rainbow used to have a blog, may still have it and he would put these funny videos up there. He did one the year that Chelsea got married pretending he was talking first with Hillary and then Michelle calling him and he’s going back and forth between them.

I know what you mean about the sh!t Hillary is going through. It’s just effin’ ridiculous.

Oh well, I do need to try to sleep. Have to go to the dentist today and I have a feeling I’m not going to get off lightly. 🙄

Oh! I caught part of Colbert until he was getting ready to introduce the guests. I wasn’t interested in seeing either Clooney or Yeb!.

@75, that is tremendous!

Fredster, Socal, Prolix – thanks for understanding.

I posted that bummed-out response to Hillary’s much trumpeted apology and then turned in. I should have stayed up at least long enough to read your responses and remember what she is up against. Not only the complete “Foxification” of the media this time around, but her very own Ken Starr, in the form of Trey Gowdy.

I can not believe I am seeing this whole thing played out again, complete with rigged, expensive and almost certainly illegal closed and selectively leaked “hearings”. The latest fiasco: Hillary’s aide Cheryl Mills yanked behind closed doors and sworn to secrecy, in spite of her request for a public hearing, with the certain knowledge that Gowdy will leak whatever suits him, is just another example of the Starr Chambers’ resurrection.

Off to snarl and work on bearing it. Thank goodness for the Internet this time around and folks who keep the faith.

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