The Widdershins

A weak weekend…

Posted on: August 22, 2015

Good morning Widdershinners!  We made it through another week where about one-eighth of the electorate believes we should be governed in some sort of reality show.  Given the coloring of Trump and Boehner, orange will indeed be the new black.

For those expecting Chat, I poked my considerable nose under the fence with this post and she kindly allowed me to go ahead with it.

Here’s hoping your week has been a good one and your weekend is even better.  And now the news…

First, some animal news… Penguins

“The worshipful treatment of pets may be the thing that unites all Americans,” wrote an Atlantic Magazine blogger in July, describing the luxury terminal for animals under construction at New York’s JFK airport. Known as the ARK, it will offer shower stalls for traveling horses (without showers, horses have long-faces), “conjugal stations” for the forever-horny penguins (who knew penguins were over-sexed), and housing for nearly 200 cows (that might produce 5,000 pounds of manure every day making politicians envious) — and passengers traveling with dogs or cats can book the Paradise 4 Paws pet-pampering resort. The ARK is a for-profit venture; said one industry source, quoted in a July Crain’s New York Business report, “You hear stories about the crazy money that rich people spend on their animals … they’re mostly true.”

Nathaniel Harrison, 38, was arrested in July in a Phoenix suburb on several charges, including possession of a deadly weapon during a felony, but he escaped an even more serious charge when a second “deadly weapon” failed to engage. Harrison reportedly intended to retaliate against a “snitch” and arrived at the man’s home carrying a rattlesnake, which he supposedly pointed at the man, hoping it would bite him. However, the snake jammed and mis-fanged – or whatever one calls such things – and Harrison’s attempted payback failed.  It was recommended to Harrison that he take his mis-fanging snake to a herpetarium, but he indignantly replied, “I don’t have a cold sore.”

HorsesThere is a definite correlation between Phoenix and kinky animal stories.  Last month, Michael Crawford, 68, was arrested when he arrived in Phoenix expecting, according to the sheriff’s office, to have sex with a horse. This raises the obvious question:  How big is the illicit horse sex trade in Phoenix that the sheriff’s office went full gallop and created a sting operation?  In any event, Crawford had allegedly posted an online ad seeking horse owners who would allow him access for brief “mount mountings”. It is unclear how the horses learned to read the personal hook-up ads.  In arranging the horse date with an undercover deputy who I’m sure is known as the Horse Whispering Pimp, Crawford volunteered that he would be bringing five shirts upon which the horse was expected to urinate and thereby serve as mementos of the trip. Nothing says true love like horse urine.  He only brought five shirts because even lovers of horses need their weekends off.

Olympic Update and a new meaning for the word “floatie”…

Race to the bathroom after the race...

Race to the bathroom after the race…

Despite repeated assurances by Olympic officials, it appears more certain than ever those 2016 boating and surfing events in Brazil’s Guanabara Bay and Rodrigo de Freitas Lake will be conducted in water so polluted with human sewage that every athlete will almost certainly be struck with fever, vomiting and diarrhea. An August Associated Press report revealed the waters’ virus levels (of fecal coliform and other viruses) are as high as 2 million times the level that would close down a California beach. One U.S. water-quality expert advised all athletes to move to Rio ahead of the games — to try to build up immunity. I never in my life thought I’d ever type or think about the words – pre-Olympic fecal training, but like with so many things, it’s just a matter of context.

LePage Quote“Mainely” Government Inaction…

Maine Gov. Paul LePage is, to put it mildly, less than popular.  On occasion, the Maine legislature has overridden the Tea Partier’s veto with a unanimous vote in both Houses of the Maine legislature – 100% of both parties.  Last month there was legislation passed to make immigrant asylum-seekers eligible for the state’s General Assistance fund.  This wasn’t to Gov. LePage’s liking and he aggressive promised to veto the bill. Unfortunately, the governor and his staff misunderstood state law believing legislation would be regarded as vetoed if he merely ignored it and failed to sign it for 10 days. According to press reports, LePage appeared stunned on the 11th day when he learned his understanding of the veto law was backward and asylum-seekers were now eligible for benefits.  This is what happens when the last time you studied government was in the eighth grade – take note Donnie Trump, Ben Carson, and Carly Fiorina.

Misunderstanding the concept…

The San Diego County Fair offered something unique in the deep-fried category this year.  This was the first year of the deep-fried Slim-Fast bar. The recipe:  A 200-calorie “diet bar” breaded in pancake batter, fried, dusted with powdered sugar, and drizzled with chocolate.

Jason Patterson, upset that New Zealand’s health care administration has rejected paying for gastric bypass surgery, announced last month that he will protest publicly.  He will protest by going on a hunger strike — also known as a diet. “The first two to three days will be really hard,” he said as he makes the case for old-fashioned dieting without surgical intervention.

Science Report…Animal House

Zoologists at the University of Basel in Switzerland recently published a study in a prestigious British journal reporting the very real likelihood that a certain flatworm species has overcome the frustration of not finding a mating partner. The scientists believe the flatworm exploits its hermaphroditic qualities and injects its sperm into its own head, from which the sperm migrates to its reproductive facilities. In a related story, scientists are reasonably sure they now know where fraternity pledges come from.

Enjoy the video and consider this the gaping maw of open threads.




48 Responses to "A weak weekend…"

Oh my Prolix, so many to choose from here. The snake thing: whatever gave the guy the idea that was going to work? Did he perhaps try a Vulcan mind meld with the snake?

As for Mr. Crawford and his equine assignations, were those perhaps one trick ponys? (the photo was cute!)

I can truly believe the item about pets. Even a typical local veterinarian’s office will offer upscale accommodations when boarding your fur baby.

Eek! Thunder and lightning popping all around. BBL.

@1, nicely done with the “one trick pony” — LOL.

@2, I actually saw a news report about the ARK. It is quite the facility. Given the race horses that probably come through JFK from Dubai it probably makes a fortune from those owners alone.

@4: Every once in awhile I get all the cylinders firing. 😉

Those thunderstorms that passed through were fierce! We had a power blink and I was holding my breath. All the power went out and then came back on but I was holding my breath on the internet and tv. TV especially since the Saints are on playing pretty boy and NE.

You are probably totally correct on the ARK deal and the horses from Dubai. They need to let the horse rest up from the jet lag and that long flight. 🙄

Also, could be useful for Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall to freshen up some too. 😆

Okay back to the Saints. They are actually ahead right now, but Brees was in for the first 1/4 so we’ll see how long that lasts.

@6, there’s some quarantine dealio. You have to leave the horses in quarantine for a period of time depending upon where they are coming from. Most countries with a sophisticated vet program it is short, like less than a week, but if the horse comes from a place where they are having horsey problems, it can be months. Cha-ching for the ARK.

@7: Wonder if that quarantine thing applies to Camilla also?

@8, most often question asked of Camilla: Why the long face?

@9: and she replies

Good stories as usual. The horse perv should be locked up someplace, with other pervs, not innocent animals. What a creep.

That’s disgusting about the Brazil Olympics. I am really opposed to giving Olympics to countries that are too polluted and do not already have some of the facilities needed. When they have to construct the entire thing, a few contractors make bank by building crap stadiums, lodging, etc, the poor taxpayers get stuck paying for it, and then the bldgs are such garbage, they often aren’t used again. The citizens of the country are screwed, the athletes are screwed, the fans that attend are screwed, and even the fans who watch on tv. The Olympic org, and the one for the World Cup are totally corrupt, imo.

My brother-in-law is still hangin’ in there. He had his first surgery on his face on Thursday. He is still intubated, and can’t move, but he wiggled his toes, and made the peace sign. He has a long recovery ahead of him. (I don’t remember if I posted about it before–I’m sure I told Fredster–my bil fell three stories off an apartment bldg that is being constructed and landed on concrete. He put his hand on the handrail that was supposed to protect anyone from falling and it collapsed under the weight of his skinny arm. My family is devastated over this, and I am furious that the builder could allow such shoddy and dangerous building practices, but that’s how it is all over that state. And why my hubbie won’t live there.)

Fredster, when football starts, I’ll tell my best Dallas Cowboy story.

Oh, my bil’s accident was a week ago. That’s why I haven’t been around much this week. I did read the posts and enjoyed them.

@13: Oh? Am I gonna be so “j” over it?

annie you had emailed me about your b-i-l. The news at least sounds encouraging.

annie@11: You are so right about the Olympics and other sporting events. I remember reading about the mess that was the World Cup held there in 2014. The place was a mess.

Annie, I’m so sorry about your brother-in-law. What happened to him sounds absolutely horrific. I hope he will make a complete recovery. I also hope he will sue the builder who is responsible!

I know it’s just preseason but the Saints blew a 21 point lead against pretty boy’s team and lost 26-24. 👿

Hey Beata!! You’re right about suing the builder.

@12, Annie, how awful! Just tragic! I had missed you and wondered if you were traveling or something might have been wrong. How terrible and insane that a life can be so dramatically changed in order for a contractor to save a few bucks.

Absolutely and indeed your BIL should bring an action, but don’t be surprised if there is a mob of defense lawyers for the contractor, architect, engineer, building owner, etc.’s insurance companies descend first to try and forego any action with a preemptive settlement. That’s on the civil side. I’m sure they are more concerned (they being the same cast of characters) about the criminal side.

When building inspectors get involved and whether or not there was negligence in terms of ongoing inspections, then the criminal aspects get moved up in significance.

I’m just so sorry this has happened to your family.


@22, if he has an Arizona Ice Tea and a bag of Skittles to go with that hoodie, he’d best be on the lookout for George Zimmerman.

@23: Whoa! But he could have had kale.

Centerplate New Orleans introduced their new food options Wednesday at the Dome. The food vendor is teaming up with Eat Fit NOLA to bring fans the healthy offerings.

Those include market fresh sandwiches, fresh kale salads, and savory seafood.

I somehow don’t think that the “savory seafood” is going to include a dozen or so boiled crabs or a pound or two of boiled shrimp. And that’s probably because the leftovers of the crabs and shrimps would contribute to that pest list that nola is #1 on.

Duh, left out a very important word there.

most often question asked of Camilla: Why the long face?
@9 Really? She’s no John Kerry!

Sweet Sue@25: Yeah, but we, or actually I was picking on Camilla because, uh, I dunno. I was reminded of a joke about her that Joan Rivers made. (hangs head sheepishly)

Thanks everyone for the well wishes. I also hope they’ll sue. They’re kind of hippy-dippy, peace-love types, but I have had long talks with my nieces about this and told them not to let their folks let this builder get away without compensating them. That’s what liability insurance is for. My nieces hubbies are sharp business guys and both have a handle on the legal and technical aspects of that state’s workers injury laws and they are on it, so that’s good. My own hubbie said a similar accident happened in the next town to ours, and the builder did a year in jail, and lost his contractors license for 10 years. California is much tougher about these things.

Incredibly, one of my step-brothers (in the same state: Washington), had the same accident, a couple of years ago. He was working on an apt building that had a terrarium in the middle and during construction, there was a handrail all around the perimeter of the inside, on each floor. Crazy stepbro was walking along and moved to the edge to let some other guy who was carrying something large pass him and crazy stepbro was pushed to the handrail and it pulled away and he fell two stories. He had a head injury, and not as badly hurt as my bil, but he is younger, and fell on dirt, and off the 2nd story. The handrail is supposed to keep anyone from falling off. These idiots must be nailing them in with little nails instead of screwing them in to the beams or joists or whatever.

@15, haha! I doubt it! You’ll see.

Fredster, we went to Dodger Stadium last Friday nite (we got to use Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s season tickets, I kid you not) and they had at least 6 different types of salad, including a kale salad.

annie@27: Anne, I’m glad he has someone working on that side of things. The way you wrote earlier I didn’t know if you were saying the laws were lax or that the laws in WA were weighted toward the builders.

@28: A few years back the NY Times (seems they’re wrong about a lot!) wrote an article about nola and talked about not being able to find kale in the city. Really? NOT!!

I’m actually kind of over the kale thing no matter what anyone says. I’ll eat some romaine or butterleaf or something when I fix a salad. I’m just not gonna go crazy over the stuff.

@25, (hanging my head in shame) putting myself in timeout.

Prolix@21: This is a very informative comment. I hadn’t considered the criminal aspects of the case. If building inspectors were negligent, that would indeed be a crime, wouldn’t it?

@32, yes. Both negligent and criminal effluent (a nice word for Sunday) always run downhill — it ultimately matters where it pools and runs no farther. If it is the inspectors, or if the inspectors did their job and it was the fabricators/contractors, or if it was the engineers, or if it was the architects, or ultimately, if everyone did their job and it was the owner who failed to foot the bill, criminal liability can attach as long as someone did something they knew was wrong and they had a responsibility to undertake doing it correctly.

In my humble opinion, this is one of the greatest positives from increased informational access — what was once swept under rugs in terms of criminal negligence, now can’t be. That makes the world a safer place for everyone. Just think about how many times you hear of a recall these days. In reality, products are safer now than they have ever been, but manufacturers can’t get away with it.

Prolix said: Just think about how many times you hear of a recall these days. In reality, products are safer now than they have ever been, but manufacturers can’t get away with it.

Excellent point. Hadn’t thought of it that way.

@30, my foodie friend said, “Kale is so 2013 and it wouldn’t have even been 2013 if someone had tasted it before they made that first salad.”

Prolix@35: When they started all the stuff with the kale all I could think of initially was this:

I’ve always wondered what those kale smoothies I see being made in blender commercials taste like. You know, the ones with a cup of raw kale mixed together with a half cup of celery and a banana in some coconut water. It looks like a thick goopy green mess the cat threw up. Yum. What does it do to your stomach if you can even manage to get it down?

P.S. I really don’t want to know.

@36: Oh, yeah. Great song.

“Her mama was ah workin’ on a chain gang. Ah mean, vicious whoa-man.”

Beata: They reminded me of The Exorcist and Regan.

@40: I’m afraid to play that…

@40: Okay…

frog legs, meh
pigs feet, splurgh, gag, retch.
gator: YUM, fried.
crawfish: Boiled is a lot of work and you don’t throw away the heads! Well you throw them away after you’ve sucked them and get those little crawfish brains out. But I love them best in crawfish Monica or etouffee.

They loved the blackened gator!

West-Coasters try to pronounce Louisiana place names:

@37, the people who make those smoothie concoctions, with all their toothy grins prior to having kale teeth, are the same people who, for a price, would make a commercial of eating their way through the clipping’s bag of your lawn mower.

Every time I see one of those green concoctions, I’m transported back to biology class where an impetuous student threw a “formaldehyded frog” in a blender. It looked exactly like those green concoctions, but was a tad bit chunkier.

@44: Exactly to both paragraphs.

Fredster, what do you think of the foods in this video?

Just got back from hitting Walgreens and the grocery. Gimme a few and I’ll comment Beata.

Beata, that seems like just the staples of life down there. Beignets are totally awesome but you have to eat them hot. So unless you know how to fry them at home it’s better to go to Cafe du Monde and get them fresh there with some cafe au lait.

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