The Widdershins

Free range Republicans…

Posted on: August 12, 2015

Morning Widdershins!  Our mission today, should we wish to accept it, is to cover free range Republicans, abortion, and Iran in one thousand words or less.  Let’s get at it.

Free Range RepublicansChickens

There’s a commonly held notion that free range chickens are far superior to other forms of chicken husbandry.  Truth is, free range chickens, having no territorial limits, are exposed to a myriad of diseases and maladies that territorially limited chickens aren’t.  As such, free range chickens represent a “clear and present danger” to the regular flock as was seen this spring when 38 million chickens were destroyed.

This paradigm represents exactly what we are seeing with free range Republicans.  For years now Republicans have been encouraged to range far and wide for their conservative nutrition without much discernment about its source.  A little talk radio scratch, some kernels from Fox, feed from conspiracy internet sites, and it is all good.  The free range Republicans are fat and well-fed.

Trouble is, all this “free ranging” has made these Republicans dangerous when attempting to bring them back into the fold around election time.  They don’t fit in.  They carry diseases of paranoia, anger, and conspiracy.  They don’t remember what it’s like to live in polite company.  There isn’t enough room in the barnyards so fights develop over the pecking order (couldn’t resist).

Is there any question why the Republicans find themselves splintered and diseased by the infection of a carnival barker?  The 25-33% of Trump support are these disaffected free range Republicans.  This flock, raised on anger, misinformation, conspiracy, and paranoia, will resist any attempt to meld back into the fold – why should they?  This 25-33% represents people who have cockfighting season tickets.

As Fox proved this week by its unilateral capitulation to Donny J. Trump, the chickens may have come home not to roost, but to roust the traditional leadership structure.  Over the weekend, Roger Ailes looked into the abyss and at the bottom was a large bus sitting atop just about everyone thrown there in order to make nice with “the Donald”.  I’m sure Ailes was asking himself the line from Blade Runner, “Painful to live in fear, isn’t it?”

Go all the way to the Right, then Jump

sperm and eggLast Thursday night’s debate was enlightening.  The greatest lesson from this gaggle of free range panderers was this:  Sex changes women – it changes them from self-determinative, sensate human beings to nothing more than inconsequential ambulatory incubators.

In the Rubio/Walker “testosteroned world”, there is no exception whatsoever to an abortion ban in the event of rape, incest, or the preservation of the life of the mother.  At long last perhaps we should be grateful for this grain of honesty.  I’ve long wondered how long these palatable exceptions would survive in the purist world of far Right free-ranging Republicanism.

While these exceptions are popular with upwards of 80% of the electorate, to allow these exceptions would be supplanting one group’s value judgment for the values of the always morally superior far Right.  Let me explain:  If women were allowed to make personal health care decisions based upon being victims of a crime, how can that discretion be stripped away when the sex was consensual.  In other words, it’s like being a little bit pregnant only in reverse.

While Rubio and Walker were crystal clear in their pandering to the free range Republicans, Mike Huckabee went even farther down the rabbit hole of hallucinogenic extremism by declaring something akin to “zygote-hood”.  Under his tortured view of the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments, at the moment of egg and sperm unification, full constitutional personhood attaches.  Talk about speed dating!

Huckabee’s assertions were outrageous, but if we were to be similarly outlandish, we might point to the provisions of the Third Amendment that states, “No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner…”  In this culture war, Huckabee might want to consider the constitutional ramifications of housing these little zygote warriors in these ambulatory incubators commonly referred to as women.

Speaking of War…Bibi

Being long-memoried has its advantages.  It also has disadvantages like not allowing rank hypocrisy to pass without comment.  This is one of those times.

Last week President Obama made a statement that congressional Republicans were finding “common cause” with the Iranian hard-liners who liked the adversarial status quo.  Given the vociferous reaction from Republicans, you would have thought Obama had said something about their mothers “bleeding from wherever” given their knee-jerk reactions.

Countless free range Republican pundits were outraged and incredulous over such an assertion.  They whined that such a degenerate personal attack was unprecedented.  Let’s go to the tape of the run-up to the Iraq War shall we?  From the Bush White House:

December 2001:  Your tactics only aid terrorists, for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve. They give ammunition to America’s enemies, and pause to America’s friends.

February 2002:  Divisive comments have the effect of giving aid and comfort to our enemies by allowing them to exploit divisions in our country.

May 2002:  After it became clear Bush had been warned of a possible attack in the making, “Democratic statements are exactly what our opponents, our enemies, want us to do.”

September 2002:  “The Senate is more interested in special interests in Washington and not interested in the security of the American people.”

Foghorn LeghornI could go on and on about how Democrats were called unpatriotic, but you can read them all here and here.

This is the chicken feed upon which free range Republicans have been raised.  Roger Ailes and Rush Limbaugh have become richer than Croesus by putting this rot into the free range food chain.  The one question I would leave with them is the same question that plagued young Victor Frankenstein:  Was the greater evil in the creature or in its creation?

Take the conversation in any direction you might like.  Total words 983 – mission accomplished.




49 Responses to "Free range Republicans…"

Phenomenal post. Especially love the 3rd Amendment comparison.

It’s been a goofy, strange day today, but as MacArthur said:

“I shall return.”

Wow — I certainly know how to stop conversation. I thought this would be a conversation starter as opposed to an ultimate silencer.

It should be. I’m just exhausted.

I love the post, Prolix! Sorry I’m late as usual. And I love being an ambulatory incubator! Incidentally, I had to have an emergency abortion before I had Wade. Thank god I was able to walk into a modern hospital that was concerned with saving me and took me right in and gave me a life saving d&c. Four months later, I was pregnant with laker. How dare these horrible men think they have the right to decide whether or not women can have an abortion, life saving or not.

Fantastic post Prolix. I had opened all of the links to read them and leave them open and almost crashed the browser. (note to self: next laptop purchase must have at least 8 megs preferably 12 megs of memory!)

It’s so terribly funny to see Fox news and Ailes having to kowtow to Trump. The scary thing would be Trump and Breibart News getting together. Yikes!

@annie: I caught a part of one of the talk shows and a guest said that Republican women are not happy about this “no exception” crap. And isn’t it interesting that yes, it’s the men who get to decide this. Bull!!

Prolix, all of these Republican talking heads are just indignant that Obama called them out on their opposition to the treaty. It’s hilarious to watch because it’s true, they know it’s true and they know he knows it’s true.

@5, Annie, my life has been enriched and is better in that you received modern, professional, and legal medical care. I look at these prohibitionists and just wonder what other issues they hold dear or is their moral superiority all used up on this one alone?

@6, I wonder which part of “Fair and Balanced” Ailes was talking about when he promised Trump he could continue to monopolize “Fox and Fiends” in the morning by calling in and talking to the couch stooges?

I read somewhere that Megyn Kelly ended a little vacay early at the behest of Ailes to come back to NYC to deal with this. The conclave of the Fox muckety mucks resulted in, wait for it, Kelly saying, “She would not address it.”

Say What!?!

So very sorry to read this news about former Pres. Jimmy Carter.

Prolix@10: Oh she’s got to be mad about having to end that vacay. LOL!

@8, what brought me to include the indignation over the Iran deal was none other than Morning Schmo last Friday morning. He went on and on and on about it — how unfair — how base — how unstatesmanlike — blah, blah, blah.

Someone said something like, “I have come to expect more out of this President than I expect from Republicans.” Someone actually said that — translated that means, “I expect this President to sit there like a good black and be slapped around by a bunch of uppity white (or orange) guys and take it.” Just maddening!

@12, immediately after the debate, the score was 100% — one hundred percent — negative emails against Megyn Kelly and she is the “Fox blonde of the future”. That rocked ole Roger’s world.

@13: Oh Gawd, I’m so glad I missed that claptrap from Schmo.

translated that means, “I expect this President to sit there like a good black and be slapped around by a bunch of uppity white (or orange) guys and take it.”

And the 2nd part sounds about right.

@15: Oh the monster they have created.

@14, when you raise free range Republicans on hate — they don’t discriminate — they are just clucking haters!

@18: Bravo Sir!!

Hey y’all! I got an email from Hillary’s campaign which had a link to a Q&A about the infamous mail server that she used when she was S.o.S. I’m going to put up a link to it over on the right side under Politics, if you wish to check it out.

We got FOOTBALL tonight!!!

Must be a helluva makeup job Tom uses irl.

My ‘phins are at Chicago.

Added a little somethin’ to your comment chat.

@23: I saw here that the local Fox station is going to carry all four of the Saints preseason games. That thrills me because I didn’t want to have to buy that NFL preseason thing just to watch the games on the laptop.

223; Thank you. It’s a pleasant addition.

You’re welcome! 🙂

For anyone wanting to get married in the county of the “quatre” married Kentucky clerk, the saga continues — she continues to exhibit the opposite of what she does when someone says to her, “Wanna get married?”

Yesterday, a federal judge told her — “get thyself behind the counter and sling some licenses — telling her to stop her shenanigans.” Today, she said, “Not so much. You ain’t the boss of me.”

Consistent with the click-bait nature of the legal advice from Liberty Counsel, the Falwell poop-o-matic law school, her attorney said she was adamant in protecting her religious rights above all else. While delivering the statement, the Liberty Counsel employed their signature move of stomping their feet and holding their breath until their little faces turned beet red.

And while ceasing to babble wasn’t taught at Liberty Law, the attorney explained that he would be asking for a suspension of the judge’s order — trouble is, neither had he asked for a suspension of the order nor, and more more importantly, had one been granted.

Perhaps she needs a job dispensing other types of licenses – fishing, hunting, rabies, driver’s, etc.

@28, those types of licenses in Kentucky are way to special to let just anyone issue them. Marry — schmarry — when you are talking about a’huntin’ and a’killin’ thangs — that thar is some important stuff. Anybody can get married as long as your family tree forks a little bit, but not everybody can kill a magnificent 14-point deer.

@27: So what the hell was wrong with the deputy clerk? Does he hold the same “beliefs” that Davis has?

her attorney said she was adamant in protecting her religious rights above all else.

Well bless her heart. Then she can go protect her rights somewhere else if the interfere with performing the duties of her job.

Okay, gotta run for now. Football is on. BBL

5 ‘Dawgs now play for the Saints, Fredster. Will catch that one later on the NFL channel.

My “little vacay” turned out to be even littler than Megyn Kelly’s. In fact, I’ve been back for a while. And now it’s football season!

I hope you all are okay.

Welcome back Beata. We missed you. Be careful what you wish for, Roger Ailes sent ole Meg on another unscheduled vacay until the coast is clear and she can come back without reminding the pitchfork and torch carriers that she was mean to kangaroo scrotum-headed Donny J.

Hey Beata! Sorry your vacay was so short. However, glad to see you back here. 🙂

Oh and da Saints lost by 3. 😦

Thank you, Prolix. You are so kind. It’s good to be back with my blog family.

The witty way you are able to describe this crazy world is unrivaled. Each of your posts is like a little gem of good writing. Most of the time I feel hesitant to comment on them because I feel like my words cannot begin to say what you are able to express so well.

Poor Megyn. It still doesn’t pay for a woman to assert herself. The Penis always wins.

Hi, Fredster! Sorry about the Saints, but hey, football season is here! Rejoice!

@40: I reread my comments and am concerned that it sounds like I don’t appreciate all the front-pagers at Widdershins. I do.

Each of you – Fredster, Chat, MB, and Prolix – have such different styles of writing and are always pleasure to read. xoxo.

Beata: It was only a preseason game and not many of the starters played. Brees didn’t play one down so it was the backup quarterbacks. With that in mind, they didn’t do too badly.

@40: Oh Beata, I have no problem saying Prolix is our Jedi Master of writing here. I’m not belittling my cohorts but he does have the ability to craft a well-turned phrase doesn’t he?

But preseason games are still fun, at least some of the time!

I confess I have never gotten over Peyton leaving the Colts. I rarely watch their games anymore. Peyton was the Colts as far as I’m concerned. Sad face.

Beata@42: Can’t blame you on the Peyton thing because Irsay screwed him over. I’m happy for him that he landed in Denver and hope he’s successful there, but not too successful. Still gotta cheer on my Saints and if it’s between Denver and Nola, oh well.


I can’t believe anyone is remotely serious about this.

@38 and 41, I’m blushing and humbled, but like Mark Twain said, “I have a lot to be humble about.” I lack the pure natural talent of the others who contribute here, I’m sorta like a plumber who can stare a pipe into leaking — my nouns and verbs are nothing more than a journeyman’s.

But thank you and I very much appreciate it.

my nouns and verbs are nothing more than a journeyman’s.

Not true in the least.

@44, I bet ole Al can get good ad rates on Al Jazeera. In today’s political atmosphere, for him that would be “An Inconvenient Truth” (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).

I bet ole Al can get good ad rates on Al Jazeera. and that would be “An Inconvenient Truth”

LOL! Good one.

I really can’t believe people are talking about him or Joe Biden entering the race. Do they honestly think Hillary is that weak a candidate or has that many issues that could affect her ability to win?

@40: Ibid.

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