Activist Monday: A Night to Remember
Posted August 10, 2015on:
Well, 152 comments later, it seems we all thought the Republican debate last Thursday was quite memorable. Here’s my take on the top five moments:
5: Rand Paul’s hair. It looked like a Jherri-curled Brillo pad. Not a good look for a pasty white man from Texas. Actually, not a good look for anyone.
4: Megyn Kelly’s Bitchy Resting Face. Whether asking der Jebinator whether he was, like, really, truly, totally pro-life, talking about terra terra terra, or attacking the Donald because, well, he’s the Donald, Megyn’s BRF never moved. This is how you know she is a serious news anchor…well, that, and her proclivity for posing in skintight spandex.
3. Dr. Ben Carson. Who? Oh yes, the token African-American dude. The Republican Party certainly knows how to find physicians who can’t heal themselves! Incoherent and batsh*t bonkers, this man’s tax plan is to take 10% from everyone. Period! “If you make $10, you pay $1,” he said. Really? If you make $10 a year, you’re dead from starvation, you idiot. Perhaps you could find a more realistic example to use? Oh wait, I forgot. Reality has a liberal bias.
2. Governor Mike Hackabee. When asked what he would do to stop ISIS, the Hackster said that he would be honest enough to say the words “Islamic extremism,” unlike Obama. So let me get this straight: your plan to stop terrorism is to yell “Islamic extremism” a few times? What will you do then, O Great One – click your heels three times and wake up in Kansas in black and white? What is this, government by incantation?
1. Of course – The Donald. It’s hard to pick one part of his guffaw-mixed-with-vomit-inducing performance, so I guess I’ll just paraphrase some of his arguments.
“I’ve given money to Democrats even though I’m actually a Republican. Why? Because I know when I call, they’ll be there for me. Which is what is wrong with the system. Hey, Hillary Clinton came to my wedding! Also, I’ve never gone bankrupt – I’m worth $6 billion, which I got by gaming the system, which this time I think is great. Or maybe I don’t. Who cares? Our politicians are stupid, especially – I mean, except – the people on this stage. I used to be a liberal, but I’ve evolved into an orangutan. I hate everyone and will very likely cause World War 3. Vote for meeee!”
What were your favorite moments? This is an open thread.
33 Responses to "Activist Monday: A Night to Remember"
Comments are closed.