WARNING: Head Explosions Are Likely…
Posted August 6, 2015on:
Good morning Widdershinners! Do you feel the anticipation of the Trump and Chimps Show scheduled for this evening at 9:00 EDT? I know, Trump and Chimps is like saying, “Chimp and Chimps Show,” but the headliner usually gets special billing.
That great piece of must see teevee isn’t what is likely to cause exploding heads today. It’s an update on something upon which I’ve previously written. Remember the Kentucky kerfuffle around county clerks not issuing marriage licenses because of opposition to same-sex marriage? I have an update – in fact, a primary update and four subsequent updates for good measure.
Yesterday the queen bee around all this buzz is a lady named Kim Davis, a county clerk from Rowan County, Kentucky. Ms. Davis, led by her Liberty Counsel lawyer, filed suit yesterday in federal court based on the state’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Yes, you read that right – the person who is failing to comply with the law is suing the Governor because he had the audacity to say, “Do your job.”
As I previously mentioned, the Liberty Law School’s sphincter muscle must be on the fritz because it is pooping out lawyers who offer the following type of logic and legal reasoning – and mind you, I’m quoting here:
Beshear (the governor) misinterpreted the Supreme Court’s decision in the marriage case. The court ordered all states to recognize same-sex marriage, but it did not require every local official to do so.
So according to Liberty Counsel’s grand legal reasoning, shooting someone dead would be illegal since it is specifically mentioned in the statutes, but if you come up with a novel approach not explicitly covered by statute like using compressed air ala No Country for Old Men, you are good to go.
If you aren’t yet wiping up gray matter, here’s another tidbit of rich information. Kim Davis says because her oath of office included the phrase “so help me God,” she believed she never would have to “act in contradiction to the moral law of God.” A religious free space — holy Sharia Batman!
The suit goes so far as to offer this legal pearl of wisdom: It isn’t a constitutional violation to make someone drive one county over and get a marriage license. Now, I have to admit, I wasn’t exactly a model law student, but I seemed to have missed the day when they taught the part about measuring constitutional rights by odometer. Admittedly, I wasn’t there every single day.
And now for the real mind-blowing shrapnel courtesy of updates two through five. Ms. Davis, the lady who is all up in the Governor’s grill about her devout religiosity, just happens to have been married not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times. Seems like she missed the part in Matthew 19:9 that says:
And I say to you: whoever divorces… and marries commits adultery.”
According to the Liberty Counsel logic, it’s not like it is the real adultery or “adultery adultery” because who’d ever think you could be married four times. Believe me when I say: I’m not this creative – I couldn’t make this stuff up, “so help me God.”
We will be gathering for the live blog of tonight’s Trump and Chimps show around 8:30 EDT. We want to have plenty of time to get our contest forms completed and our stopwatches synchronized. See you then.
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