The Trump and Chimps Show: Live Blog
Posted August 6, 2015on:
Welcome to the Widdershin “Trump and Chimps Show!”
Directions: The following is a list of questions about certain issues for tonight’s debate. Your answers should be cataloged as the time elapsed from the beginning of the debate until the event. For instance, question one asking, “When will Trump use his first superlative?” Given the elapsed time from the beginning of the debate until it happens, that would be answered 0:02 — meaning two seconds after the debate begins.
We will tally up the times and the person with the total time closest to the events will be declared Jane Goodall of the politichimps. In the event of a tie, there is a tiebreaker.
The debate is tonight at 9:00 P.M. EDT on your Faux News channel. The earlier “kids’ table” debate was everything you’d expect it to be: Rick Perry’s smart glasses didn’t work, Piyush Jindal still needs to wash his hair, Carly Fiorina had an anticipatory snarl before she said “Hillary Clinton,” Rick Santorum is still running against some guy named Romney and the horse he rode in on — Rafalca, and everyone still wants to know, ‘Who the hell is Jim Gilmore and wasn’t he executed in Utah back in 1977?'”
Fox trotted out their show ponies Bill
Hummer Himmer Hemmer and one of their fungible blondes — I don’t know which.
The Fredster created form is over on the right side under “Politics” along with a handy, dandy stopwatch for your timing pleasure.
As a reminder, here are the questions:
- At what point will Donald J. Trump use his first superlative — e.g., best, most brilliant, highest envy, lowest loser?
- At what point will someone say Obama or Barrack Obama?
- At what point will someone say Hillary or Hillary Clinton?
- At what point will someone say Obamacare?
- At what point will someone say Benghazi?
- At what point will someone say “secure the border”?
- At what point will someone say the Iran deal sucks?
- At what point will someone take on the Supreme Court over marriage equality?
- At what point will one candidate say the name of another candidate?
- At what point will someone say the country is at a crossroads/cliff/precipice/in danger/existentially threatened/in its darkest days – you get the idea?
Tie breaker: Which candidate or candidates will fail their urine tests and why?
We will live blog until the debate is over or until our fingers bleed. Like great artists, we suffer for our art — only thing is, being political animals, suffering is second-nature when there are events like “The Trump and Chimps Show.”
152 Responses to "The Trump and Chimps Show: Live Blog"
Comments are closed.