The Widdershins

The weekend’s weak end…

Posted on: July 11, 2015

Good day Widdershinners.  I hope this is a pleasant weekend for you.  What a week!  The Trump-panzee flung feces at any anything standing still, as the Trumpanzee so often does, South Carolina surrendered finally, maybe they will stay surrendered this time, and Greece was late on its rent, again!  As is our custom around these parts, here are some “non-earth shattering” stories for your entertainment.  The stories come from a variety of sources including the News of the Wierd, HuffPo, and various newspapers.  Enjoy.

Home bath, don't try this without appropriate amounts of soy on hand (or on body)...

Home bath, don’t try this without appropriate amounts of soy on hand (or on body)…

Noodle this would you…

Yunessan Spa House in Hakone, Japan, recently began offering guests supposedly soothing, skin-conditioning baths.  The baths were of ramen noodles (elevating to health status what might be Japan’s real national dish). The pork broth that fills the tub is genuine, but because of health department regulations, only synthetic noodles can be used, and it is not clear that the artificial ramen achieves the same (allegedly) beautifying collagen levels as actual noodles. For those hard to reach places, chopsticks are recommended.

I’m sharked by this story…

How about some shark to go with those cookies?  Patrick Lanier of Ft. Lauderdale spied a perfect venue for his shark selling since the sidewalk outside a Publix was a good location for the sale of Girl Scout Cookies.  On June 4, he plopped down a live, 5-foot-long shark he had just captured, and which he hectored shoppers to buy, asking $100 (and occasionally tossing buckets of water on it to keep it shimmering). He had less success than the cookie-peddlers, and in short order loaded the shark back into his truck (it was riding shotgun, not driving), took it to an inlet and released it. However, he did avoid the police since it is illegal to sell fish without a commercial license.

Go ahead, jump…

In May, police in Anglesey, North Wales, called for a hostage negotiator to help with two suspects (aged 21 and 27) wanted for a series of relatively minor crimes and who were hold up on the roof of a building. A crowd soon gathered to watch the nail-biting heroics.  After ninety-minutes the two men were talked down.  They were then escorted from the roof of a one-story community center, about eight feet off the ground.  It’s that first step that gets you every time.

A rather embarrassed Seymour...

A rather embarrassed Seymour…

E I E I, Oh dear…

Come to find out, pigs can fly – just not too well.  During the festivities in Provo, Utah, Seymour, the flying pig, had an unfortunate run-in with a flying cowboy.  The cowboy fared much better than Seymour.  It was the annual balloon race in celebration of July 4th, when Seymour, the pig balloon, was struck by a cowboy balloon.  The cowboy declined to comment for this story.  The quick thinking pilot of Seymour continued the burners at full power luckily keeping Seymour’s head partially inflated, thereby, insuring a soft landing.  It could be said the pilot saved his own bacon.

No mutiny here…

The South Pacific island of Pitcairn (pop. 48, all descendants of the crew of the legendary “Mutiny on the Bounty” ship and their Tahitian companions) is a beautiful island.  Considered a picturesque island paradise, its governing council voted on a sex issue in May:  Pitcairn voted to legalize gay marriage.  No one had asked about legalizing same-sex unions and according to the Associated Press only one person on Pitcairn had self-identified as gay.  Asked to comment, one resident said, “Gay marriage is happening everywhere else, so why not here?”

Tickets here…

Gregory Reddick, 54, and his employer, SJQ Sightseeing Tours, filed a lawsuit in June against New York City for “harassing” them and hampering their ability sell tickets to tourists for the Staten Island Ferry.  Government harassment at its best complained Mr. Reddick.  Trouble is, the Staten Island Ferry is free to ride.  When Mr. Reddick was arrested, he was wearing a jacket that said, “Authorized Ticket Agent”.  Upon checking him into the New York jail, it was discovered Mr. Reddick had seven dates of birth, five aliases, and six Social Security numbers –gotta love someone with initiative.

Real lipstick by a real artist.  Usually he carves pencil lead...

Real lipstick by a real artist. Usually he carves pencil lead…

Can I stamp that for ya…

Loyalty is an important customer engagement tool.  In fact, customer loyalty is a much desired asset in any number of enterprises, including drug dealing.  France’s daily La Provence reported in May that at least one enterprising drug dealer in Marseilles had begun distributing “loyalty cards” to its best customers, offering a 10-euro discount on future sales after that customer’s card was full (all 10 squares stamped from previous sales). Said one buyer, “I thought I was hallucinating. I thought I was at a pizzeria or something.” Always helpful, the card also expressed thanks for the patronage and reminded the customer of operating hours (11 a.m. to midnight).  This story doesn’t have anything to do with the picture, I just thought the lipstick art was exceptional.

No marital aid left behind…

Forget no child left behind, some parents of Encinal High School students, in Alameda, California, demanded an investigation last month after learning from a counselor at an after-school program students had been “assigned” an extra-credit project.  The project was to rummage through their parents’ bedrooms looking for sex toys (and bringing in a “selfie” holding one).  Administrators were quick to tell the concerned parents that the “assignment” was not a requirement of the course.

ninjaPolice blotter…

Police were called to the Cumberland Parkway outside of Corbin, Kentucky, upon reports of a man hampering the flow of traffic.  A man with special needs had become inebriated and was carrying a sign in the road stopping cars and trucks.  The sign read, “Parents killed by ninjas.  I need martial arts lessons.  Please help.”  From Ohio, it wasn’t immediately clear how the man got to Corbin — whether he had walked or been dropped off by good Samaritan ninjas.

Laquanda Newby, 25, was charged with three counts of child abuse on June 7 at the county courthouse in Richmond, Virginia, after police spotted her car with two children locked inside on a day in which the temperature reached the 90s. Newby had parked at the courthouse in order to attend her hearing on charges that the week before, she had indeed locked her kids in a hot car while she was out on errands.

Just one of those spur-of-the-moment crazy things,” explained John Paul Jones Jr., in May, after he had intentionally driven his pickup truck through his living room in Senoia, Georgia.  Prior to the incident, his living room did not have a drive thru.  He told a reporter he had been on the phone with his wife and gotten angry, and “one thing led to another.” Fortunately, Jones is a contractor, and has been out of work for a while and thus figures he can keep busy fixing his mess. The house “needed some work,” he said, “needed air conditioning.”

 

Enjoy your weekend and take the conversation in any direction the wind might blow.

 

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24 Responses to "The weekend’s weak end…"

Hello! Anyone home? If you hear rapping from inside your computer monitor, that’s me — hello?

I’m here. Sort of. Stepmother has a corneal abrasion, and to add to my woes I have a nasty (probably) spider bite on my right leg. I swear it’a a brown recluse, but it does not have the classical bullseye – maybe the spider did not get the memo. I’ve oozed down on the couch, watching old movies.

@2, if it wasn’t for bad luck…

I think spiders are getting worse — they are more brazen than I remember as a boy — then they were frightened by gigantic humanoids, but now, they just do a tap dance and say, “Bring it on two legs!”

I’m watching “Ray Donovan” — women want to be with him, and men want to be him. Liev isn’t exactly loquacious in the role, in fact, whatever the opposite of loquacious is without being a mute is how he plays Ray.

Poor chat! We had a huge spider this week. Laker got it and threw it outside. We used to get brown California tarantulas here but I haven’t seen one in years. Chat, are you doing the baking soda paste?

Love the stories, Prolix. All of them. I think my favs were maybe Pitcairn and the drug dealer in France.

Sorry I haven’t been around much. Still have company, although she’s on her way tomorrow. I hope Fredster is ok.

Today I went with Laker up to Ventura, Calif, to a 50 yr old record store (very cool and hippi-ish) to get John Densmore’s autograph. He was doing a book signing there. Laker has a Doors cd with Manzarek’s and Krieger’s autographs and was dying to get Densmore’s on it. He was very nice to laker and signed the cd cover and posed for a nice pic with him.

Hello and apologies to all. I want to shoot my computer

Well not really, but something got wonderfully screwed up on it and the only thing I knew to do was to start backing out and removing anything I had added, updated or whatever during the last couple of weeks. I had to take care of some errands today and couldn’t deal with the ‘puter problems immediately. So after the errand running was done I came back and started tackling the computer. I think I have it back to where it was (notice I didn’t say “normal”) and after that I simply decided to crash.

Thanks for taking the post today Prolix. I appreciate it greatly.

Pitcairn voted to legalize gay marriage. No one had asked about legalizing same-sex unions and according to the Associated Press only one person on Pitcairn had self-identified as gay.

That must be lonely.

Re the drug dealer’s loyalty program: Geez, I remember as a kid, my mom going to the grocery store and they had a similar program, but it was for dishes – make two visits, get a few stamps on your card and a fine casserole dish was yours, the lid required more visits and more stamps. 😉

@ 5 & 6, you are indeed a good friend. No matter how wonderful company is, after three days…

The record store sounds like someplace I would love — kitsch and kitschy places.

@ 9, seems like I remember, only vaguely, S & H Green stamps, there was a book or something in which you had to lick them and stick them. I also remember my parents having these white “milk glass tinted” coffee mugs they used religiously because they had had them from the earliest days of their marriage. The mugs had come in Quaker Oats or something like that. I was always trying to talk them into upgrading their mugs, but they wouldn’t hear of it so I hid them when I was home — my mother did not find the humor in such activities.

@11: This was something similar to the S&H thing but store specific. I want to say either A&P or Kroger. They were a really…really ugly green and some other color combo. I thought they were ugly and would keep putting them on a higher shelf in the cabinet. I would use the platter that came with them and I used it to carry steaks out to the grill. Only use I had for any of it.

I remember the green stamps. My brother & I got the job of pasting them in the book. We used a sponge to wet them.

I also remember that once a laundry detergent company gave away pieces of china buried in the detergent when you bought the large size. My mom got a gravy boat in hers, and of all things, I ended up with it. I still use it for gravy.

@3:

I’ve been busy this weekend cleaning the ramen noodles out of my bathtub.

Sorry to hear that Chat and Fredster are having troubles. Best wishes to both of you. xoxo

Beata@15: Oh my troubles weren’t as bad as chat’s.

Oh and annie, congrats to Laker on getting the autograph and the photo. I bet the store was a hoot.

Oh my…

@17, LMAO!

I remember some stamp program at the grocery store too! I feel like that is how we got our collection of Encyclopedia Britannica volumes.

Beata, I think that excuse beats “reorganizing my sock drawer”.hands down.

Hugs to the wounded Widdershins..I’m actually amongst them. Broke my foot in Aruba, but not badly. Still, a painful and annoying state of affairs.

My mother got beautiful Rogers Bros. silver-plate flatware ( 4 place settings ) with S&H Green Stamps. She saved stamps for a long time to get it. I think I was about 10 years old at the time. I still use it every day.

Sorry about the broken foot, MB. That does sound painful.

So sorry about the foot MB. That is so painful and aggravating. If it had to happen Aruba is a beautiful place — hope you had a great vacation otherwise.

MB@19: OMG! Too much rum and dancing on the beach will do that to ya. 😉

I hope you are on the mend and literally back on your feet with no assistance or hindrances soon.

Oh boy, feel like temps tomorrow will be back in the 100s. That’s just too damned hot. It’s still in the 80s now.

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