A weak end to the weekend…
Posted June 27, 2015on:
Hiya and howdy Widdershinners. It’s the weekend and as usual we will be surveying some of the weird and wacky. But if I may…
An exercise I’ve always found enlightening is this one: Tell me how you spend your time and I can tell you who you are. During the last week:
The Democratic Party celebrated 6.5 million Americans continuing to have access to health care, celebrated the continued protection of Americans from housing discrimination, and celebrated the human dignity of same-sex families.
The Republican Party fretted about if, when, and how to remove a symbol of immoral and ignoble segregation haunting state capitols.
Yeah, that really happened.
Now to the nonsense you have come to expect from me on the weekends. Many thanks to the compilers of such mishegas.
What did we do before we became laboratory monkeys responding to click baiting? I’ll tell you what we ought to have been doing – fearing cows more than bears, fearing high school sports more than terrorists, fearing Disney World more than alligators, and fearing bad handwriting more than Ebola. Hard to believe, but each of these fears are real and lethal, but if you see a Guernsey in a football helmet signing autographs at Epcot – be afraid, very afraid.
How Noble Can He Be
In the course of a Medicare fraud investigation, it was learned that a Dallas-area doctor Noble U. Ezukanma, 56, billed the government for 205 hours’ work in one day. It was October 16, 2012. Now, how much work did you get done that day?
A Washington Post blog entry briefly reviewed the new edition of Routledge International Handbook of Ignorance Studies. The reviewer’s conclusion: “The realm of ignorance is so vast that no one volume can fully cover it.” Agreed.
The law of turkey-baster insemination took a turn in Virginia in April when mother Joyce Bruce was unable to keep sperm-provider Robert Boardwine out of her son’s life. Bruce relied on a state statute that seemed to allow her sole parenthood if the pregnancy was based on assisted-reproduction medical technology. However, the Court of Appeals of Virginia declared that a “kitchen implement” is not “medical technology” and, considering Boardwine’s genuine interest in fatherhood, ruled that he was entitled to joint custody and visitation rights. No word on the fate of the turkey-baster, but just in case, don’t buy one at a yard sale.
Not that Tennessee is simple or anything, but after nine months, at a cost of $46,000, here is what was created. Created is too grand a term, here is what the Post Office suggests as Tennessee’s postal abbreviation plopped in a red square sitting on a blue line. Critics were underwhelmed. The consultants countered with, “We were aiming for simple.” They got what they paid for because it was so simple, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office rejected it.
In January 1976, NBC Television unveiled a stylized red-and-blue trapezoidal ‘N’. NBC paid a design firm close to $1 million (in 1976 dollars) to develop the artwork, but within days NBC learned that the Nebraska Educational Television Network had been using an almost identical logo for half a year. Two differences: (1) NETV’s logo was entirely red; and (2) NETV had only paid $100 for the design. NETV’s lawyers were soon in contact with NBC over the issue of trademark infringement. The result was that NBC agreed to pay NETV over $555,000 for the rights to the design, as well as $25,000 so that NETV could create itself a new logo. “Ding, ding, dong” – we thought you should know.
No, Whitesboro, New York, is not celebrating the throttling of Native Americans or at least that is the story. This scene is said to have taken place in 1784, when a Judge Hugh White, the founder of the village, engaged in a “friendly wrestling match” with a local Oneida Indian. This seal has been redesigned, but it still looks like a white guy choking an Indian. An epic fail in redesign, but Little Bighorn pretty much evened it up.
In 1986, the University of Kentucky debuted a new logo for the Wildcats. Eight years later, eight years, not 8 hours, 8 weeks, or 8 months, but EIGHT years later there were complaints that the Wildcat’s rolled tongue looked too much like a penis. The logo was redesigned as a testament to the empowerment of sex education.
Perpetrators or “perps” as Barney Fife and Rudy Giuliani would call them, are frequently on the run. While on the run, they unintentionally reveal their whereabouts because of their need to show off on social media. Christopher Wallace (not that Chris Wallace) reached legendary status as the “Show-Off King in the Land of the Stupid” with this demonstration. Wallace was being sought in connection with a burglary, so he went to his home in Fairfield, Maine — and promptly posted on Snapchat that that’s where he was. Police arrived and during their search happened to notice a brand-new Snapchat post from Wallace. Wallace conveniently wrote that the police were in his home right then searching for him, but that he was ever so cunningly hiding in a cabinet. The police promptly opened the cabinet wherein Wallace in an incredulous tone asked, “How’d you find me?”
That’s a wrap for the day my friends. Have a great weekend and all your opinions are highly encouraged on any subject you deem worthy.
32 Responses to "A weak end to the weekend…"
Comments are closed.