Remain Calm, Etc.: The Boys of Spring
Posted April 10, 2015on:
Happy Friday, Widdershins. I know that this is a bit of a departure from form, but I felt the need to post some commentary today. I promise to put up a Lazy Sunday as well.
This has been quite a week for our Republican contenders, and next week should bring Marco Rubio’s announcement that he’s ready to take the plunge. In the meantime, Jeb is flirting with an announcement while he vacuums up as much money as he can find. While declaring himself to be “my own man”, he has surrounded himself with advisors of all stripes who have all save one worked for his father and his brother. Clearly Jeb plans to wrest the nomination the old-fashioned way – e.g., he’ll purchase it.
Jeb is aware that the Grand Old Pachyderm has a problem with Hispanics, but he is convinced that he can plow his way through that. After all, his wife is Mexican, and while he was Governor of Florida, he winked and nodded while thousands upon thousands of undocumented migrant workers poured into the state to pick crops for his Big Agra contributors. It’s unimportant that these people worked for scant wages, as the property owners of the various towns and cities could handle providing basic necessities, medical care and public schools. Jeb was the first Governor to authorize the issuing of driver’s licenses to undocumented people, despite the fact that it is clearly prohibited by Florida’s state Constitution. One quick executive order took care of that problem.
If all of this was not enough, Jeb further endeared himself to our Latino population when it came to light that he had checked “Hispanic” on his voter registration. Well, ¡ hola, Heb! Bienvenidos á Miami. (He would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.)
Jeb is actually from a fine old New England – the Bushes are not Texans, but rather carpetbaggers – family of which at least one member was a renown slaver, as appears to be the case with many of that ilk. Jeb’s was a man named Thomas “Beau” Walker (namesake for H.W. and W. alike?), who was such a miserable human being that his demise came by a mutiny aboard one of his vessels. I suppose that given such a choice, I would consider an alternate description as well.
Senator Rand Paul decided to leap-frog Jeb and had already announced his plans to move into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and has spent the rest of the week mired in some pretty messy interviews. He has had three separate occasions where he got quite testy with some of his favorite targets: the mainstream media (Savannah Guthrie), the DNC, and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. He spurned rescue from Sean Hannity and Megyn Kelly, despite their best efforts. Hannity attempted to fluff things over, but Megyn Kelly called him out and told him that women reporters were not treating him unfairly. Paul sputtered something about the “contentious nature of interviews”, but she never let him off the hook. When he talked over her, she talked over him. She also asked if he perhaps had become a bit emotional. It was a thing of beauty, and you can access the film through the above link. Lessons learned? Nah, probably not by Rand. As far as the rest of us, and especially Savannah Guthrie are concerned, never ever ever ask Rand why he doesn’t believe in his last stated position, as he is admittedly a bit thin of skin and short of temper. You know, just what we need in a President…….
Personally, I just can’t wait for Marco Rubio to announce. Rumors have it that he plans no cuts, big child care credits, and a top tax tier of 35%. We shall see what we shall see, as my grandfather used to say. Maybe there will be some explanation for why he voted against the immigration bill that he sponsored. At least, maybe there will be some water close by. But any way he goes, he will maintain a direct path toward a head-on collision with Jeb, and that will play poorly in Florida. Loyalties will be divided, friendships strained, and donors diluted. It will be one helluva mess, even by Florida standards. So let the games begin.
This is an open thread.
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