The Widdershins

Remain Calm, Etc: No Reported Casualties From The War On Festivus – Yet

Posted on: December 12, 2013

Good Thursday, Widdershins.

My last several posts have concerned ill health.  I still feel pretty washed-out, but the time has come to move on and get going for the holidays.  I arrived at this realization thanks to the Famous Florida Festivus Pole which has been erected next to the nativity set inside the statehouse in Tallahasee.

I have lived down here some 31 years.  I cannot rouse any surprise at some dude from Deerfield Beach constructing a Festivus Pole from used Bud cans and applying for space in the Capital to commemorate Festivus.  That sort of thing is actually fairly mundane here.  I am, however, rather startled that such an ornament was approved by the Department of Management Services. Further, I am floored that the President of the Florida Prayer Network shined on the matter.

The Fundies of my acquaintance are beside themselves at such “pagan” theatrics.  They just know that Moslem ornamentation is around the corner, followed closely by broomsticks, cauldrons, voodoo apparatus, maypoles, and a mini-Stonehenge or two.  Human sacrifice will follow in no time flat.

And it gets stranger.  Seems that the Festivus fabricator, one Chaz Stevens, built and submitted the pole as evidence of his contempt for any sort of religious display, feeling that all of those menorahs and mangers are clear violations of the separation of Church and State,  He admits that this was the most ridiculous thing that he could think of, which worries me somewhat – there are ever so many more ridiculous things that I could think of, but I digress.

“This is about separation of church and state,” Stevens said pointing to various other holiday displays saying they shouldn’t be in the Capitol either. “The government shouldn’t be in the business of allowing the mixture of church and state.”

And, here’s the money quote from ol’ Chaz:

Stevens, who drove the 7 hours from his home in Broward County, purports there is no point to adding the display “it’s just ridiculous,” he said. “This is the most ridiculous thing I could come up with. The only people I’m worried about offending is the Festivus people.”

Now, the Widdershins is a pretty religiously diverse group.  Any of you pole-worshipping Followers of Festivus, members of the Cult of Seinfeld, feeling offended out there?  If so, you will soon have your chance to air your grievances and express your dismay.  Just hang tight for a minute or two, then let ‘er rip.

FPN President Pam Olsen is not offended.  Indeed, Ms. Olsen celebrates the First Amendment.  Check it out:

“Do I think it’s inappropriate to have beer cans in the Capitol with kids coming in, probably,” Olsen said, “but they have freedom of speech to do that. I said that when we put the nativity scene up.”

Okay, so maybe a teensy little grievance, but otherwise fairly sporting of her.   (Wondering why I live down here?  Well, it was 85 today.)   In the meantime, commence airing your thoughts and grievances,  It will be good practice for Festivus.


6 Responses to "Remain Calm, Etc: No Reported Casualties From The War On Festivus – Yet"

Given that it is Florida and all, I proudly proclaim that the Festivus Pole should “stand its ground.”

The only thing I would add to the Festivus Pole would be an entwined snake much like a Caduceus to honor the viper-headed Governor Rick Scott.

So chat is the FPN the Florida Philanthropic Network? I tried to google it. Now I have to admit I’m reading and typing while on hold with BCBS-AL

I was surprised by this comment:

but they have freedom of speech to do that. I said that when we put the nativity scene up.”

If this is a fundie group that comment would surprise me.

@1: Excellent!
@2: FPN=Florida Prayer Network. Surprised me to no end.

Oh okay. From the link I see it’s Florida Prayer Network. I am surprised by her statement about free speech then!

Prolix, love the comment about Rick Scott!

What’s more American than beer cans? Do they expect a Festivus pole out of fancy wine glasses? The War on Festivus must be exposed. For all those would-be pole vandalizers (Evandalical Christians?), I show how God thoroughly condones of pole vandalization in the Bible in a new post at

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