The Widdershins

Remain Calm, Etc: Much Ado about Much Ado

Posted on: November 7, 2013

Good Thursday, Widdershins.

There has been much ado about racism in the NFL of late. The situation with the Dolphins gets stranger every day, and I’m not certain that we will actually ever figure out what really went down. Reports and investigations are not exactly clearing things up, as the team (which is about 85% AA), appears to be siding with the aggressor rather than the aggrieved.  In the meantime, we’ve got the Washington Redskins dust-up.

Owner Daniel Snyder insists that he will never, under any circumstances, change the team name. The Oneida tribe insists that he will change the name, and has backed that up with a lawsuit. The President states that he should consider a new moniker, sportscasters have aired their views, and there must be a thousand letters to the editor that express a minimum of two thousand viewpoints.  Tonight’s game features the Redskins and the Vikings, and we will likely be treated to almost as much discussion of off the field issues as on the field performance.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, even though two of my ‘Dawgs now play for the East Coast Washington ball team. However, the franchise is near and dear to the heart of MadamaB’s hubby, who bleeds maroon and gold.  This issue itself is not new, as a number of collegiate programs can attest.  Illinois and Utah have had issues with tribal councils, and the Illini eventually modified their team logo.  Florida State University has endured several scuffles with the Seminole Tribe of Oklahoma, which inexplicably finds the name “Seminoles” offensive. Fortunately for FSU, the Seminole Tribe of Florida has advised their Oklahoma cousins to buzz off.  STF enjoys their relationship with FSU to the point of sending their annual Tribal Princess to ride in the FSU Homecoming Parade. The Seminole Tribal Chairman has been known to participate in the opening ceremony of FSU games – they’re lovin’ every minute of it.

Not so for Daniel Snyder, who is fielding invective at every turn.  Now the DC city council is “urging” him to change the name.   Further, Forbes magazine has weighed in, and deems a name change to be inevitable.  What is a poor billionaire to do once he has run afoul of Forbes?

If Mr. Snyder runs true to form, this won’t be pretty.  I wonder if he just needs some suggestions about renaming the team.  It’s not like it’s a boat, where renaming would bestow certain bad luck – after all, the Houston Oilers became the Tennessee Titans, and they – well, never mind.  It isn’t inevitable bad luck, like a boat.

Anyhow, I gave some thought to some names, and I admit to having some problems deciding on a winner.  The Miami team is the Dolphins for local color, and all I can think of for the Tidewater area would be either water fowl or crabs – “Go, you fighting water fowl (or crabs)!” just does not move me.  One could always try alliteration, as did the Buffalo Bills, the Jacksonville Jaguars, and the Seattle Seahawks. That gives us a choice between Water Buffaloes, Wombats, Wallabies, Wasps, Wolves, Walruses, Weasels, Wildebeests, Whelks, and Woodchucks.  Any of those strike your fancy?

Since they are near the nation’s capitol, there are the options of Statesmen, Governors, and Monuments, but none of those comparisons yield images of anything speedy and/or effective  – in fact, these days it would be almost insulting.  Mr. Snyder could always follow Tampa Bay’s example, and instead of Buccaneers use Highway Robbers, Gridlocks, or Freebooters to acknowledge the denizens inhabiting the hallowed halls of government.   Or, following West Virginia’s lead of terrain-oriented nomenclature (The Mountaineers), how does The Foggy Bottoms strike you?

Imagine, if you can, the mascots….. Anyhow, should you have any suggestions, post them here in this otherwise open thread.

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21 Responses to "Remain Calm, Etc: Much Ado about Much Ado"

Chat, I’m with you on this — I can’t build up a head of steam about this issue. It’s one of those things where I’m completely fine with “whatever they figure out.” I suppose there can be worse things for a billionaire to have to spend his time worrying over than what to call his prized cash cow — when you have people spending $20 for a hot dog and a beer, there are worse things.

I suppose calling them the “Washington Georges” would be too telephone directory-ish. Given that DC is divided into four quadrants, NE, NW, SE, and SW, the “Washington Directionals” might work and it sounds much better than the “Washington Quads.”

Directions might be a consideraton.

I’m in favor of the Washington Clusterf*cks. It could be reflective of the way the team has played in the past as well as the political shenanigans that go on there.. After all, we nola fans have called the Saints the Ain’ts in years gone past.

Barring that, the Weasels, for the same political reasons.

@3: ooooh! Good one, although it would auger poorly for the team’s performance.

Prolix go check your email.

chat@5: I would just like to hear the announcers on that one. Gruden would have no problems with it. Same probably goes for Al Micheals, but I wonder about Chris Collinsworth. Of course nothing would affect Chris Berman. 🙄

Chris hasn’t been the same since this:

@6, mailbox empty.

@8: LOL!

@9: I bcc’d you on an email. Lemme resend it to you.

Just resent it to the gmail acct Prolix.

Thanks chat for including the vid from AHS. Luv the show!

You’re welcome/

From Monday night, Maddow tears apart Rand Paul on the plagiarism issue.

It’s really difficult to rationalize plagiarizing from Wikipedia..

OMG – there are people protesting the Redskins outside the stadium.

chat@16: Because of their playing efforts or the name thing?

Inspired by American Horror Story, how about the Washington Wiccans or Werewolves? Warlocks!

Not bad at all there, Sweet Sue. I’m leaning toward the Warlocks.

@17″ Probably the name thing/ The folks in Minnesota had to be thrilled with the other.

chat@20: After reading a piece about the game where it referred to the Redskins losing to the “lowly” Vikes, it may have been over the game. LOL!

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