Feminist Wednesday: Of Mothers and Daughters
Posted August 7, 2013on:
[This post is dedicated to Beata. Hang in there, sister.]
My friends, as McMaverick McCain would say, it’s been a long, long week, and it’s only Tuesday! Good grief. I am having trouble keeping my eyes open to post, but just wanted to quickly share something that happened tonight.
A colleague of mine, who is now basically a bestie, invited me out to dinner with her mother and sister. Not only was it great to be surrounded by women (as usual, we are in the VAST minority on this project), but it was fascinating to see how the ladies interacted with each other.
The person who really struck me was my friend’s mother. Despite her different looks, mannerisms and accent (love the Southern drawl!), she truly reminded me of my mother. Mom was (amongst many other things) outgoing and comfortable with herself, and loved to tell dirty jokes. (My friend’s mom showed me pictures of her birthday cake from her colleagues: It was baked in the form of a toilet that was, let’s just say, unflushed.)
My mother was far from perfect, but I loved her – especially that self-possession and extraversion. I hope that in those ways I have grown to emulate her. You’ll notice I left out the dirty jokes. So, news flash: I don’t usually tell dirty jokes. Okay, I never do, but can sometimes make a wickedly earthy remark or too. I’m a Virgo, whaddaya want?
It was painful, yet wonderful, to encounter another Mom who reminded me of my own dearly departed Mamacita, just 17 years gone. And I expect to keep being reminded of her, and of the deep, unbreakable bond we still possess.
Our mothers are never gone, and for those Widdershins, male and female, whose mothers have passed from this earth state (or who may soon pass), I say from long experience: You will never truly lose your mother. She will visit you in dreams and in waking, in the faces of strangers and friends, and in the face you see in the mirror. Your grief will pass, and in time, only the love will remain.
This is an open thread.
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