The Widdershins

Archive for March 16th, 2012


Once again it’s a Friday and time to kick back, say TGIF and enjoy one or several of your favorite adult or soft beverage.

A couple of notes here:

I got sort of chastised by lorac from Uppity’s place about our wait staff.  Therefore I have added another member to the staff, Margarethe.  Margarethe is of Danish German descent.  When I was interviewing her for the position at the Lounge, she told me this describes her totally:

What does she like?
Sensual and voracious, Margarethe  likes to live life to the fullest and enjoys tasting all of the pleasures that this world has to offer. She has a good sense of humour and likes to make others laugh, as well as participate in fun and games of all kinds.

So along with lil A.J. we should be able to meet your ahem, needs.

Next, our great Madamab is back, being returned to us from the rigors of her work life, so she will be doing the Friday lounge starting next week.  I’m going to try a mid-week Wednesday night lounge.  Hell the way things are going, we could all use a mid-week break too.  Perhaps we could even start our own drag-queen bingo here at TW on Wednesdays!    Fuzzy, do you know any of the girls that might be able to help out with this? 😆

Last note:  A couple of the folks from Uppity’s place asked me about trying to get a special guest; they said they knew I would be able to get her here.  Well I called, and I called and kept calling.  She said she couldn’t promise but she would try her best to be here and looking around over in that far corner over there I see her!  Now don’t go over there and be buggin’ her about 2016 and shit okay?   (Looking over at the corner:)  “Hey Madam Secretary!  Yes It’s good to see you again too!   Okay, we’ll talk later.  Go on back to schmoozing with the other guests.”    Wait a minute!   “What’s that you’re doing Madame Secretary?”  (oh hell she’s doing shots now)  “Madame Secretary…I really don’t think you should be doing those.  No, I don’t think that’s good to mix things ya know?”  What’s that?  “Oh I realize you’re not driving, but…you never know when you might get one of those 3:00 a.m calls.”  “Oh, you’ve already gotten a bunch of those calls?  Yes I can believe that.”   Well let’s just give her some breathing space and let her unwind.  She needs it too.

Okay, on to the silliness of the news. (this weeks lounge theme)

Our fearless, former Vice President, the man without a heartbeat has decided that Canada is just too damned dangerous and rowdy a country for him and his daughter Liz to visit.  Quelle suprise!  HT what say you to this?  Now Dick (and I use that name with all that it implies) Canada is perfectly safe for you.  To quote:  Indeed, crime rate in Canada overall is at its lowest rate in 40 years.  See there?  Does that make it better for you now?  If not, too bad for you for missing all of that great Canadian scenery.  Just get ovah yourself!

Next, what the hell is wrong with the students of the *spirit band* of the University of Southern Mississippi?  The band was in attendance as U.S.M. played Kansas State yesterday in an NCAA tournament game.  The K. State team had a player at the free throw line, Angel Rodriguez, who is a native of Puerto Rico.  The brilliant member of the USM spirit band decided to chant “Where’s your green card?” while the kid was trying to make his throws.  One thing though spirit band, Puerto Rican citizens are American citizens and don’t need a green card!  🙄  You see spirit band, Puerto Rico is a self-governing commonwealth in association with the U.S., Angel doesn’t need a green card.    What the hell did they teach y’all in school?  Did you have a civics or government class somewhere along the line?  Oy vey!  Now, I’m not going to say (or allow to be said) anything about stupid Southerners because that’s a generality and simply not true.  Let’s just wonder what the hell they did or didn’t learn somewhere along the line in their educational progression.

Oh my God, the women of The Widdershins and Uppity’s place are gonna love this one.  When these right-wing Neanderthals decide they want women to have an transvaginal ultrasound before an abortion, we need the women of those particular states to amend the bills such that in order to obtain a prescription for Viagra, men would need to have an ultrasound of their prostate!  This could be a vital test.  Men could have a problem with their prostate affecting their ability to have an erection so this test should be performed first.  This is how the procedure is performed:

the prostate gland is located directly in front of the rectum, so the ultrasound exam is performed transrectally.

For a transrectal ultrasound, you will be asked to lie on your side with your knees bent. A disposable protective cover is placed over the transducer, it is lubricated, inserted through the anus and placed into the rectum.

The images are obtained from different angles to get the best view of the prostate gland.

Gentlemen all I can say is payback is a bitch!  😆

Lastly, are these people evah going to learn anything about protocol or proper gift giving?

President Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, have presented the British PM David Cameron and his wife, Samantha, with a wood and charcoal burning grill engraved with American and British friendship flags. The grill came with his-and-her White House chef jackets embroidered with the Camerons’ names.

The White House says the gifts commemorate the Obamas’ May 2011 visit to London, when the Obamas and Camerons held a cookout for American and British members of the military. Michelle Obama also gave Samantha Cameron a vase of White House honey. And the Cameron children got bean bag chairs embroidered with their names and the presidential seal.

I hope to hell they didn’t go here and then figure out a way to crazy-glue them to the grill.

Okay!  The Lounge is open and start quaffing!  We don’t have to worry about closing time for awhile.

Traveling really broadens one’s mind, I’ll tell you. In the past few weeks, I’ve been sitting in airports, edifying myself with the wonders of mass-produced news-o-tainment. Look, Whitney Houston died! How many cycles can we get out of her?! (R.I.P., Whitney. You were a titanic talent.) Guess what, women who can’t have kids? There are zillions of alternatives to conceiving naturally, if you’re having trouble! Just don’t dare to admit you use birth control, or Rush Limbaugh may call you a “slut!” (Dear Rush, I am a married woman who uses birth control pills for medical purposes. I can very sincerely say, Go Fuck Yourself.)

But I digress. In wading through all this trash, I started noticing something I never do when I’m at home: The commercials. And I have to say, I was quite perplexed by the fact that not one, but TWO upcoming sitcoms have the word “B*tch” in them. Yo, what’s up with that?

The first show is called “GCB.” This is because it’s actually based on a book called “Good Christian B*tches,” so ABC’s publicity bobbleheads cleverly decided to abbreviate the name of the show so as not to offend, well, everyone. So far, their efforts have not succeeded.

The ladies (let’s call them) of ABC’s new show are as hypocritical as the discordance of the kitschy jewel-bedecked cross festooning the cleavage prominently displayed on the front cover of Gatlin’s book. They stab each other in the back, obsess over their social standing and subsist in personal disarray.

Pointing out Christian hypocrisy is a sport enjoyed by the types of marksmen who also like to shoot fish in a barrel. Hypocrisy is not limited to professing Christians. Those who are wary of the institutional church “because it is full of hypocrites” might consider Tony Campolo’s response. These people, he says, fail to understand that they will be right at home precisely because the church is filled with hypocrites.

Don’t bother reading the rest of the post; it’s so incoherent that it makes Charlie Sheen sound like a Rhodes scholar. You can find much more well-written rants from shocked and horrified Christians all over the InterWebz.

But you know what I’m going to say, right? They’re not shocked over GCB’s sexist, shallow and nasty portrayal of women. Heavens, no! They’re shocked because someone dared use the word “b*tch” next to the word “Christian.”  Okay, I’ll quote one more piece from that article. I apologize in advance.

The disparate elements combined in GCB’s original title (which ABC has now bowdlerized as “Good Christian Belles”) recalls Voltaire’s sardonic observation that the Holy Roman Empire “was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire.” In the same way, the subjects of “Good Christian Bitches” are neither good, nor Christian, nor – well, two out of three’s not bad.

Oh no she di-uh!  Again, this allegedly Christian womon sees no issue with calling women b*tches. Just don’t ever intimate that a Christian could be one, or the Christian Victim Attack Squads will go into full flying-monkey mode! Can I get an A-Men?* (*capitalization intentional)

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