The Widdershins

THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN….

Posted on: August 4, 2012

…is to control a woman’s vagina!

The best way to get god’s attention is to pass laws that withhold access to women’s reproductive rights.   That’s if you are delusional enough to take it upon yourself to “interpret god”s will” for the rest of us who don’t enjoy the same relationship.

In fact, nothing spells “stewardship” more than to burden the planet and its natural resources with more and more babies because this “makes god happy”!

While we eventually will run out of those resources that allow us to survive, create more wars due to overcrowding, run out of food supplies because there is only so much to go around, god will “bless us” for creating more and more creatures for worship.  Makes sense?  Didn’t think so.

Of course the first place to start with this fantastic theory is with women, the bearer of all those potential worshippers.

Her role is to act as the vessel. Without access to contraception and family planning measures, her lot in life has just “increased” from following the murky concepts of this theory but don’t bother to question it.  Let’s be honest here: we women want nothing more than to be another Mrs. Duggar, popping one out every 9 months “for the glory of god”!   Am I right ladies?

I mean if you are still ovulating at 50 this indicates that god has a plan for you!  And better yet if you follow the principles of Warren Jeffs, then you need to start producing at the age of 14.   This increases your chances of having at least 30 kids over a span of the next 30 years if you should be lucky enough to live so long.   And isn’t this just what god wants us to do?

Rape and incest? Not a problem if women just consider this violation as a “blessing” from god to make “lemonade out of lemons”.  How could any woman resist?

Stem cell research for the betterment of mankind?  Forget about that: everyone should just welcome the opportunity to “suffer” through life (god’s will) by accepting the inevitable that this is merely a “plan” that must not be questioned.  In other words, just sit down and shut up!

The crazies have taken over.  No doubt about it.  As the planet itself is embroiled in turmoil, these “batshit nutjobs” are proposing measures based on fantasy with “rewards” just waiting in Heaven to be claimed.   Like collecting Green Stamps at the grocery store.   Or the promise of those 72 virgins.   Or heavenly mansions  tucked away in the clouds.

Am I the only one seeing the effects of the Fred Phelps Syndrome these days?  I honestly see little difference in the hate that he preaches from the hate that is being preached by lawmakers against women based on half baked theories from a book written 2,000 years ago by a handful of men who themselves may have been suffering from delusions. 

Safe to say, I’m never going to Heaven. 

I don’t seem to have what it takes.

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12 Responses to "THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN…."

Amen Pat the war on women must stop, the enemies of women must be removed from office. To bad their are so many Women Enablers out there that assist these evil men with their evil plans!

Pat darling,

If you are going to Hell, then I’ll be in good company. ;-)

And well-said, Fuzzy! If only women weren’t so well-rewarded for playing the roles the patriarchy wants them to play.

Did you all hear about the Chick-Fil-A “kiss-ins”? LGBT are going to the stores and kissing in front of them. How awesome is that? We wimminz still need to take a page from your book!

I’m going to take off with hubby now and spend some much needed time together. Looks like I’ll be stuck in MN till mid-September. Will this project never end…

Wonder if it is possible to get group rates for the “hereafter” since if you are heading way south, I’m going to be in a deck chair not too far away?

Here’s an idea: When these old white guys pass legislation limiting access to health care based upon requiring procedures like maximally invasive sonograms, let’s require prostrate screenings with the same probe before they get their little blue “saluting” pills. Let’s run that up their little flag poles and see how that flies.

And is it just me, or isn’t having 20+ children the ultimate act of narcissism? From what little I’ve seen, there’s a shallow end on every side of that gene pool — “no diving allowed” should be on their family crest.

Madamab- well its a living!

One good thing about hell – all my friends and family will be there with me. :lol:

Apparently we’ll all be there together.

And the Kardashians.

MB said: Looks like I’ll be stuck in MN till mid-September.

I thought you were in Columbus OH? Well damn! I had made arrangements so you could be the one to “dot the i” for OSU band. Of course you have to carry a sousaphone!

Pat said: And the Kardashians.

Oh dear gawd! Please tell me they will have their own special hell!

Fuzzy: We’re going to have you ready to go for Tuesday.

Ouuuu!!! Very pretty pic from London.

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